idk why this question drives me crazy but it does. i was asked three, yes three, times today if i was going to have any more children. i'm a single mom to a sweet almost 3 yr old boy & that is enough for me & clearly all i can handle.
i have several stances on this or feelings about this, but none of which i really wanna tell anyone except people i know really care about me, not just a conversation piece, y'know?
i really didn't know what to say. i'm not married and not even dating so even thinking of having another child is really next to impossible. plus i'm really trying to embrace my tiny family & love it but it seems as though me & my son aren't enough for the world. it's enough for me, but you know what i mean.
any tactful ways to answer this question? i'm a very open, bubbly, cheerful person so i'm not sure how to answer this w/o sounding like, "my your own business" kinda thing. so...thought i'd ask y'all. :) btw, my actual stance is basically that i'm leaving it in God's hands. i don't even think about it or worry about it. just not sure how to portray this w/o telling my innermost thoughts about it. even though i just told y'all, lol :)
thanks so much as always! :)
Man y'all are good! i love these thank you! keep 'em coming if you got 'em! :)
OneandDone I actually referenced you today - thanks! i told 'em nope! One and Done! :)
btw, the people asking me today was daycare moms while at the daycare thanksgiving lunch, and 2 of my clients. i work for meal delivery program for senior citizens. the last client told me i shouldn't leave him as an only child. i KNOW it's just conversation. but makes me really uncomfortable b/c i'm just VERY VERY single & they make it sound like the only right way is married w/at LEAST 2 kids. so here i am, not married w/just one & like i said, it's just not good enough. anyway, i feel the same way when ppl ask me why i'm not married. like i know the answer! lol God rules me & my life, know what i'm saying?! :) y'all are awesome, thanks so much!
I can't stand that question, either. I have 3 boys & get asked that all the time, along with " are you going to try for a girl". I think that whether a person is going to have children, is such a personal question. I can't have anymore children but I'm not going to tell random people that . Even though I just shared with all of you ;). I will be watching also, for good responses.
Just laugh it off with a joke. I think people sometimes just say things from some kind of universal "small-talk bank" and don't really think before saying these things :)
Well, you can always just look them straight in the face and say...
"I can't believe you actually asked me that question!"
Just leave it at that, and walk away... let them stew about their rudeness.
I agree... it is a very rude question....... you don't owe them any explanations on why, or what.
Tell them that perfection is a hard act to follow. Or (as my name implies) "O. and done!"
A little humor goes a long way: "that's between me and my uterus."
I love my husbands answer.
We got it right the first time.
Teach your child to start fke crying and say, "aren't I enough!".
Seven billion miracles are enough.
Just say, "Not at the moment, later, who knows?"
UGH. It reminds me of when people ask me, "do you just have the twins?" Really???? I have a boy and a girl that's not enough? We have now made the permanent decision to be done. Before I would just say, "I don't know" because I didn't. Also, I would turn around the conversation and ask them if they were done. Turning the conversation around would take the spotlight off of you.
My response would be, "Maybe in the future."
People ask me that all the time! I don't let it bother me. I just respond with "I haven't decided" "oh I am not sure yet" or "maybe in a few years." Really broad answers that are not personal without being rude.
im a single mom and i dont find this a rude question. I ask it to people sometimes. Somestimes you're curious sometimes its a conversation starter.
Just what you said... "That's in God's hands."
When people ask me that (and it happens often) I chuckle and say "NO!!" lol. My kids are great, I feel like I've been pretty lucky. But I am fairly certain that I am done after 2 kids, although, like you, it is in God's hands. You certainly don't owe anybody an answer or explanation. Find an answer you are comfortable with and stick with it =) Like "only time will tell" or "never say never" or "Not sure about myself but please tell me you're done, lol". Just kidding on the last one =)
It's really very rude of people to ask that. It's not their business and that's a very personal matter. Are these people who are close to you that ask, or strangers you meet in the park? Maybe a good answer would be, "As a single mom without a significant other in my life, that's about the furthest thing from my mind" or "Have you ever tried raising one child on your own, let alone two????"
Some people ...
I dont think its a rude question at all. I think its more idle conversation curiousity than anything else. I suppose it could be rude in the right circumstances. If someone walked up and asked out of the blue I might consider you crazy first and then rude. LOL
Just tell peope what you told us if that is what you believe. My answer was always "ya never know" until I got my tubes tied. The it changed to "Highly unlikely cause I got fixed!"
Why do so many people assume others asking them questions is out of judgement or an intent to be rude? I'm not saying you do this mind you.
How about, "Are YOU?"
Our daughter, now 16, one and only by choice.
I get the remarks, from family, and people I hardly know.
I just say our choice was the best choice for us and we are quite happy with our choice. If prodded.... I say.... I can and will provide this child with full college funding and more.... It would not be fair for me to bring another child into this world and not adequately provide for him/her to get out of college debt free and begin their adult life appropriately.
I love children, maybe that's why I teach... But I believe parents have specific obligations to give children a head start out of college debt free.
I don't believe in relying on the government to care for me or my family. Unfortunately, too many people do rely on freebies and not self motivation, self discipline and ethics.
You do what is right for you and don't worry about what people say.
I know you hate it. I get it. I used to get this a lot. But really it's just something people have always asked, it's no biggie. A lot of times when they ask this of a single mother, they're wondering if you're going to have another as a single mother.
As you said it's up to God.
I HATE this question! I had 3 miscarriages total but the one child whom I was able to carry to term had a disability. So, after she was born, people sometimes said "oh, you're scared to have more".... ARGH
I know what you mean! I am married with 2 kids and get asked all the time if and when we will have more-when I say we would love 2 more and possibly do foster care they get pissy like that is too many kids. You can't please everybody when it comes to kids! It's really none of thier business. When they ask just say "Why? Are you going to pay for daycare and my insurance?"
I hate that question almost as much as the "oh are you pregnant question" you get whenever you say you arent feeling well. That one drives me insane!
You can always just say "It's not in my plans right now" Or just a simple "Nope!" always works too.
People just dont think before they speak sometimes. Just have to keep it simple and move on.
Some people just don't think before they speak. We went through A LOT to get our little guy (6 IUI's & 3 IVF's) & we probably won't be having another. Unprotected sex for 5 1/2yrs. so I'm pretty sure we're done. When people ask I tell them straight up what we went through. That seems to shut them up pretty quick :0) I really think it's a rude question to ask anyone because you don't know what they have gone through or are going through. Maybe they had 3 & lost one or don't want any more or can't have any more. Just because someone has more than one doesn't mean everyone should. Drives me nuts!!!!! Nothing wrong with an only child people!!!! Sorry, thanks for letting me vent :0)
