"Are You Mom Enough?"

Clearly in this case it is not moms who are stirring up the controversy it is the media, specifically Time Magazine. They need to sell mags so they use a cover which will cause a strong emotional reaction. They only succeed if you allow it. How about instead we make a vow to ignore manipulative media? Like Ani Difranco says, "watch out for that TV, it's full of splinters!" They want us to fight, let's not give them the satisfaction. It is so pointless and distracting. And by the way, If someone negatively judges you, who cares? You know who you are and that's all that matters.

They are certainly trying to sell magazines. Ignore that. Breast feeding is not a competition. The people who yell the most about how women should do this just want to justify it.

Being a mom is not a competition period.

Dawn

The Time is not now what it used to be.
20/20 or one of those shows did a spot on the woman who is in charge. She is known for her outlandish ways.
Time has been losing money.
This will sell and get people talking about what Time did, remember Demy Moore on Vanity Fair?
Negative attention is still attention. Infamy is as good as fame, when you are selling magazines.
It has everything to do with money, not whether we are mom enough or dad enough.

They showed on the show how they have revamped Time to look more like People, because that is what America wants. Says something about this country doesn't it?

Just because you can breastfeed doesn't mean you are a good mom.

I just posted my rant on the previous question about the Time Cover, but to specifically address your points, yes. The cover and it's captain are, as Alyssa Milano tweeted, "exploitive & extreme." Mayim Bialik (former star of Blossom and now on The Big Bang Theory) said, "Cover of TIME magazine looking to be inflammatory about [attachment parenting] much? Dear goodness."

Mayim Bialik, by the way, holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience, has written a book called Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way. She advocates Attachment Parenting as a continuum with all levels of participation and advocates that this is not an issue for judgement of some mothers against others. I am on board with that idea.

Personally, I think it's disgusting. The cover, the tag line, everything about it disgusts me.

And thanks for your post, I agree that Moms everywhere (yes, including and sometimes especially, Moms on here) tear each other down when we should be lifting each other up for our unique-ness.

Well said. Happy Mother's Day! Mothering is exhausting enough without all this outside pressure.

Are You Magazine Enough to Act Like Putzes, Time? Yup.

I think moms are letting themselves get sucked in to all these debates way too much. Another mom made a point on this forum a while back that before she had an MP account, she had no idea of all the "styles".

Very little of this mom-to-mom bashing goes on face-to-face. It's all chicken coop behavior on forums, in books, magazines, etc for people to gossip about with friends. Then of course there are going to be those with no tact who judge and spout what they've read to people who didn't ask-but they're a minority I think. It's very easy to just do your own thing and let other people do theirs and only give advice when asked. And it's only good manners not to bash others out loud.

So we should ignore the trashy yucky photo and the preposterous caption, be nice moms and people, and move on.

ps. My son is 4 and very large for his age and he's not as big as that "3 1/2" year old. Staged staged staged to offend.

Well said and Happy Mother's Day to you!

I agree. Happy Mother's Day. There is another thread going on about this issue.

Ah, if it were only that simple to use O. factor (in this case BF) to determine "good" vs. "bad" moms!
(And there ARE bad moms. And there are moms who are not Mom enough" but those are extreme examples: addicts, abusers, neglectful moms, etc.)
The photo has a high "freak" factor. I mostly attribute it to the slow death of print media in general.
It was designed to shock, grab attention and, possibly offend.
I have not read the article, but I have seen the cover.
Honestly, it creeps me out.

I think it means that Time is hurting for readership and has resorted to throwing gasoline on the flames of the "M. Wars." Seems to be working for them. BAER.

Oh I agree everyone should not judge others parenting EXCEPT M. because my ways best=) hmmm maybe I shouldnt have graduated kindergarten with that attitude
added to Jim Above': Certainly is does- I mean that mom I saw nursing her baby with a cigarette in her hand is doing far better than the mom with the bottle! I am appalled you'd think otherwise=)

I totally agree with you. The headline bothered me more than the picture.

I'm mom enough to do what's right for MY family. That's all that matters to me.

When women decide to really unite and support each other, the world will benefit greatly. Think about how powerful we could be if we united fully. The proof is in the pudding, look what we did with voting and reproductive rights. We allow the division among us, we feed it with our inability to see that our way is not the only way.

I'm a pro spanker. I have never found civility with other moms who don't agree with me, they just bash and call names. I do believe that fellow moms should be considerate of others parenting, hope your post works, unfortunately doubtful.

One of the moms that is in the article (not the cover) is from my area and she was on one of the radio stations this morning.
I agree we all do things differently, but we do what is best for our families. And I believe the moms on here (minus or occasional trolls) are all MOM ENOUGH, more than enough, no matter what our parenting styles are.

I have one child who was formula fed (we just never got the nursing thing) and one who was nursed til he was almost 14 months old.

Many people especially my parents would make snide, hurtful remarks..."oh he's such a titty boy", "he's going to be the 8 year old kid still boobie fed"...it was really hurtful that they said those things.

I of course put a stop to their remarks...and said "and if he is then so be it, it's not you who has to do this!" He stopped on his own, and by the time he wanted to go "back" it was too late.

Honestly, I think the cover just put the breastfeeding "cause" several steps backwards, as far as being accepted in mainstream society. The choice of words was VERY insulting and the fact that the kid was old enough to be in school were not necessary. This is shock value at it's finest. It may sell magazines, but if you really want to have breastfeeding accepted, this was the 100% wrong way to do it. Shame, shame. They couldn't have just done a tasteful story on it? Of course not..

Anyway, I'm with ya, and Happy Mother's Day to you, too!

I'm fascinated by M. Wars. I've never really felt affected by it personally. I've never cared what other people had on their parenting agenda. If someone says what they do is different to me, I just smile and nod, and do whatever the f@&$ I was going to do do anyway.

The ONLY time I've been annoyed by such an issue was when one of my midwives was pushing me to have a water birth instead the epidural I wanted. She actually described me to another midwife as a 'wuss'. I mean, why did she care? I had the epidural, thank you very much.

Anyway, happy mothers' day everyone. Smile and wave boys, then do your own thang.

Like I said before, if I knew bf my son could make me look like THAT I'd start bf immediately...and he's 6.

I agree that the caption was less than perfect for sure.
I think they used it so it would be just as controversial as the picture.
Just another media attention getter, it's getting a lot of attention on FB too, I'm sure that's what Time wanted.

there is a point in which we judge others because it becomes abusive. listen to what the medical professionals are saying about this practice. the public photo, the fame hungery mother, the slim nutritional bennifits are all things the professionals are questioning. I think its healthy when somthing like this arises that we say hey is this really best all around for any child? Lets make a vow to each other to protect all children. Its truly ok to say I dont agree with something just because someone is doing something.

I agree 100%.

Thank you and wish you a very Happy Mothers Day also!

We moms are all like snowflakes, different, unique, and beautiful! We all want what's best for our babies and want to make the right decision We are all very passionate about our children, therefore we get differing opinions on what's best.
A friend of mine and I were talking about attachment parenting just this past week before the Time cover came out. She swears by Dr. Sears and gives all new moms his book. I personally wanted to hunt him down on many, many occasions and curse him out personally. lol Needless to say, his philosophies aren't my cup of tea. I, on the other hand, always give a new mom a blank journal with a quote about discovering your own way in parenting. Anyway, we had a wonderful, civil conversation about our views and it was very enlightening for both she and I. It can happen! :)
And HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY to you too!

I'll say it again...

This is a great response to that article...

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/10/never-mom-e...

Couldn't agree more. And to add to what Jim said............... My youngest kids Bio Mother breastfed them AND drank and did illegal drugs while she did it. (part of the reason that we now have custody) Kind of doubt that would make her a better Mmom than anyone in most people's book. I believe that some of the best Moms out there are adoptive ones, and they never had a chance to breastfeed their kids. (no, I am NOT an adoptive Mother. I have custody of my nephew and my niece, as well as have 2 biological kids of my own) Anyway, it's time we start trying to help each other out by noticing the good that most parents do, and quit all the talk about the bad. Human nature to talk and gossip.... but in the end it really doesn't help anyone. :(

I'm not even close to being Mom enough for some moms. But I'm mom enough to the people that matter most, my kids. Once I stopped trying to do what everyone else thought was best, I did what I thought was best and became a better mom. While I don't agree with extended babysitting for my own reasons, if it works for you, do it. As long as you are not causing harm to your children, your choices are yours to make regarding your kids whether I like them or not. I think the Times headline (I have not read the article) was meant to be inflamatory and offensive and it worked and got people talking. However, when I'm on this website, I always try to be respectful in my answers, despite sometimes wanting to scream, but sometimes my answers can come off judgmental. Not because it's my intent, but when we moms are passionate about something we defend it and promote it strongly and when it comes to tone, the tone I use to write it, may not be the tone in which you read it. I always think that maybe their intended answer was not what was conveyed, so when I'm upset, I take a step back before I respond.

Time Magazine, being a business, loves publicity and attention. Attention makes them money, and outrage gives them attention. The cover and article are not a social statement or a political statement as much a profit statement. If you don't like the cover (and I don't blame you), or the article, encourage your friends not to subscribe to or read the magazine. They can think of many better, more important things to do.

I wish you would have provided the link....I'll take a look and get back to you...

Agree 100% with you!!! I believe all moms want is to raise happy, healthy children that one day will become happy, healthy and productive members of society. The parenting may be different, the kids may be different but the goal is the same.
Happy Mother’s Day to all!!!

Couldn't have said it better! Personally if I dont have something postive to say about a post or give someone advice because I experienced the issue myself, I dont even bother to comment. :)

It certainly did what it was intended to. Got peoples attention. I found nothing offensive about the cover or the headline.

Now before I had my son, breast feeding in general was not very common around me, and my only exposure had been from extreme extended mom. she was odd and controling. Then I had my son. And had to start defending my choice to bf after two months, three months, six months. It really was a natural progression, and while to some they may have saw as extended breastfeedings (16 months) I may have continued longer had I not had to wean to have surgery. I look back now and think of all the times I had to justify feeding my son. Then I wonder how wrong could I have been about that other mom.

Okay so that last part was a bit off topic, but does have much to do with my response to the headline and cover. I am so passed child bearing age. that I doubt I will read the article. But as to the cover, doesn't bothering me in the least. I don't think it should bother anyone.