OOOh mom - sorry!!! She knows how to work you...she's won control and exercising it...
She knows that her screams bother you and you will cave to what she wants as long as she screams and you cave...
Your 2 year old now rules the roost.
Can this change? Yes.
Will it be easy. No.
Can you do it? YES!!
You need to give her rules and boundaries. Discipline when she breaks the rules or crosses the boundaries. If you don't believe in corporal punishment (spanking), then you will have to use time out.. your voice will have to be FIRM and the SAME punishment EVERY TIME...
NO MEANS NO.
STOP MEANS STOP.
There is NO gray area here.
If you are out in public and she starts throwing a fit - tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and if she does not quit, you will do X (whether you take her home from the grocery store (i had to do this ONCE with my daughter) or take her to the car and have her sit there until she is done screaming...) the point is that YOU need to be the mother. YOU need to take back control...don't worry about what other people think or say - this is YOUR daughter and YOU need to give her rules, boundaries, guidelines...you might be surprised at what one quick swat can accomplish...and it may only take once - to get her attention and tell her ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...she can scream in the car all she wants...stand outside so that she is not alone but let her scream until she loses her voice...once she realizes you are serious and will not back down...then you will be in control again.
you don't need to scream. You don't need to yell. You just need to stand firm and take back control. YOU CAN DO THIS...Your husband MUST be on board with this - if you two are NOT a united front - then she will play you both and you two will end up fighting over her and she wins again!!!