My baby is 12 mos old and she screams and sobs and puts her head down
when ever she is made to go with her Dad. She holds on to me crying, "Momma, Momma"! and won't let go of me.
I have to pry her off of me to hand her over to him and she screams.
It is really breaking my heart to see this and hear this.
Is this normal?
He says he is not doing anything to her and got really mad at me for asking him if he was being mean to her.
I think there might be something going on. But I can't prove it.
What do you think I should do?
Its pretty normal for kids to want only their Mommy at this age BUT if your gut tells you something could be wrong you should investigate. Since her dad doesnt live with you he's more like a stranger to her which could be causing her pause. Does she let other people hold her without crying?
This is the age where there is a lot of stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. My girls were more apt to want me than their dad at this age. HOWEVER........I suggest you read "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin DeBecker. That inner voice you have that is raising a concern is real. Even though this may or may not be the circumstance that your inner voice is right, it is worth exploring. Mommas have a sixth sense about their kids....if something doesn't feel right, don't just write it off. No need to put dad on the defensive just yet. Does she have any suspicious bruising? Does she freak out when you change her diaper after a visit with dad? Does everything in the diaper area appear normal to you? I could go on and on with the questions, but if it is truly separation anxiety/stranger anxiety, you should be able to put your inner voice to rest (for now)! Good Luck!
Mine did the same thing. With Dad, or anyone else. It's heart breaking I know but it also gets old soon enough and you will want a break.
Have you ever seen him be mean to her? She might just be a Mama's Girl. Mines 4 1/2 now and is much better but still prefers me usually over anyone else.
Good Luck!
Mine cried for Dad and we lied together but he wasnt around much. How often does he see her? how is she with other adults? is she calm and easy going with strangers? of course he is upset at being asked if he is hurting his own child! who would take that question well? maybe she is picking up the tension between the two of you? is she precocious and picks up on your moods? dont accuse him of anything (he isnt going to admit if something is going on) but try to get him to cooperate by seeing her more often, just visiting in your house for a short time to help her get to know him, make the dad realize it it whats best for her and not because you dont trust him. It will be inconvenient for both of you for a while but so important to her well being
My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. I believe it's just because she's not used to a man holding her. I don't think it's because the dad did anything bad. It's frustrating for all but it'll pass. Don't worry too much and provide a slow transition. It might be better to not be in the room when dad takes the baby.
