So I need advice once again. I have 3 kids ages 7 (boy), 2.5 (girl), and 7 mos (boy). My daughter over the last few months is progressively getting worse about wanting to be a baby. I totally understand where this is coming from due to the new baby. Examples are: wanting me to nurse her, taking a bath in the baby tub, squeezing into my sons clothes (yes, tiny baby clothes),eating in the highchair, wearing the babies diapers. I could go on. I am getting so frustrated and I feel so bad for her but I don't know the proper way to handle this. I have explained all the things she, as a big girl, gets to do where the baby doesn't. I give her extra cuddle time, attention, try to make sure we do activities together but no change. Anyone else been through this? How long did it last and how did you handle it? Any and all advice is greatly welcomed!
ETA: she does help me with a lot of things and does have a baby of her own that she diapers, dresses, and feeds.
Get her to be your little helper, get her a baby doll to be a mommy to, continue with the extra attention, make a big deal out of the things she is able to do that the baby cannot, spend more one on one time, an extra story read, or sitting down and coloring with her...I would not pay too much attention to the regression.
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One thing I would not do, is to keep harping on the fact that "you are a big girl....", because, that to me, just exacerbates the 'stress' of it all.
And makes it worse.
The more you push the idea, the more the child will regress. It is too overwhelming... per emotional maturity of a mere 2 year old.
They have NO coping-skills at this age nor any fully developed emotions, yet, at this age.
Constantly being told "you are a big girl...." just makes it more overwhelming. Especially if she is not ready for all of those 'expectations.' And per developmental timelines.
Keep things simple.
Let her express herself.
But don't bring too much attention to it.
Distract her.
Just give her other things to do.
Give her a Dolly to 'care' for.
Show her you identify with her... that you are getting used to baby too. So you 'understand.'
She needs validation.
She needs, feedback... that makes her feel good, not inadequate or immature. Which always being told "you are a big girl..." can make a child feel 'inadequate' especially if again, they are not ready for that.
Kids this age, will not necessarily KNOW what being a "big girl" is. All they know is what they feel are think. She is, only 2 years old. She is not yet, an older child.
Keep expectations, age-appropriate.
This phase, will pass.
It is not just about doing activities with her... but talk 'with' her.... about stuff. Anything. Her feelings and validate her. Their ideas/fears/stresses/worries, are that of a child. Not an adult.
Help her feel, she is "okay."
My daughter needs chats... to feel 'bonded' with me. So I do that with her. It helps.
all the best,
Susan
Keep doing what you're doing. This too shall pass. You're handling it really well. Keep it up! Good luck and congrats!!
I would take her to the store and let her pick out a special dolly that she could be the mommy to. Every time you nurse, change diapers, take your son on a walk etc., have your daughter do the same with her baby. When I was young I desperately wanted to be like my mother when my sister was born. Also, you could let her play dress up with your clothes and some play makeup.
It sounds like your daughter is a little jealous of the attention that the baby gets, even though you're not necessarily ignoring your daughter. Maybe you could make some special Mommy/daughter time. You can have a tea party or go to the park, something special for the both of you to share that the boys cannot be a part of. Good luck!
Keep doing what you're doing, and maybe YOU can do what SHE's doing with HER stuff. Try to get in her clothes, etc. Make it funny so she'll see it as rediculous? Good luck!
