Be a Better Mama!

I played everything EXCEPT Nintendo. My son would beg to teach me--I never liked and still hate most technology-related things EXCEPT Mamapedia! lol

Oh, join the club. The thought of playing Barbies makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork.

Usually, I will tell my kiddos, "Hey, why don't you guys play Barbies with each other for a little while, and when I'm done mopping this floor, we can make cookies?" That makes them happy. They just want to spend time with me, and I really don't think they care if it's cooking in the kitchen, or playing Barbies, or planting flowers in the front yard.

I remember very few times when I was little that my parents played with me (I'm sure they did, I have probably just forgotten). But what I do remember is helping my dad work on the car, or helping my mom in the kitchen, or going grocery shopping with her. My childhood was idyllic, looking back on it, although I have no Candyland memories. ;) You do a lot of things with your kids, it sounds like. I don't think you should feel badly about Candyland!

You're human . . . don't be so hard on yourself.

I used to feel that way sometimes; my husband always seemed to have the patience for those sorts of things. And guess what my kids remember - Candyland and other board games LOL!

One of the things my sons say that they love and remember most is just all of us laughing together. So whatever you do, try to laugh a little each day. And don't forget to share with your kids what makes YOU special. Share your passions too (on an age appropriate level of course).

As long as you're spending time with them, let go of the worry. Hugs.

Sounds like you already do a lot of things with them that you all enjoy. My 5 yo is always asking me to play action figures with him, I totally do not enjoy that. I will usually suggest something else, build with blocks (not legos, that's daddy's area), read, or play a card game. I do play Candyland. Once in awhile I do become a Jedi Knight with him or a werewolf but that is only when I have a lot of energy. Think of it this way, if your husband asked you to play golf and you would rather play tennis and you knew he liked tennis too, what would you do? It's okay to try to make it into something you enjoy too since let's face it when you have fun, they have more fun! And yes, it's okay to say no when you have other things that need taking care of!

OMG!!! I totally feel the same way....,

In between cooking/making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, doing laundry, dishes, picking up toys and cleaning the house, taking care of the dogs, trying to fit a run or workout in, driving to preschool, doing the grocery shopping, any errand running, bathing/dressing the kids (AND myself) that by the time I have a quiet sit down stretch...when my 4 yr old asks "Do you want to play spiderman/hulk/ninjas etc" I seriously feel like saying.. "Um...NOOOOOOOOO" LOL

It is soooo hard. I stay home w/ my kids, and I've had friends who work say things like what do "SAHM/WAHM"'s do all day. SERIOUSLY? Not get a moments peace, thats what! My 4 year old doesn't nap anymore, and the baby naps after the 4 yr old is out of school. SO I NEVER get a moments peace until they are both in bed. By that time, Im pretty done. SO trying to fit in playing, can be hard. I agree, take the few minutes out here and there to give them attention. If they are hungry for it, try and give it. But I too, don't remember my mom ever playing w/ me. EVER lol Do the best you can, thats all anyone can ask :)

Are you kidding me? You don't like it?
I was always SOOOOO THRILLED to play Hot Wheels and Lightening McQueen stuff!!! LOL
Seriously, you can pretty much endure even the Chinese water torture if you know it's going to be over in 20-30 minutes, right?

You are involved. You snuggle, watch movies, read and color. You are the calm side of their fun. I am the same way! I almost feel like I am lazy. :) Oh well, I am on my 4th baby, love my life and love my kids. I learned a while back (years ago I am 43) that if I am not really wanting to participate (whether it be with kids, adults or my husband with social gatherings) I'm not the best partner or participant. I am not a meanie or bitter or angry person when I must, just not my normal fun, bubbly self. I do, in fact, play board games at times and yes UGH is stated loudly in my head, but I also state that I will only play 2 games and then I will have to get back to whatever I was doing prior.
Don't beat yourself up. You sound like a nice mommy and maybe playing just a game or two every once in a while will take the guilt away..I know I often feel like super mom after I finish a grueling game of Candyland with my 4 yr old princess that loves to cheat :) haha

Sometimes you have to fake it, other times just be honest, not now. I am not a fawn all over my kids kind of mom. I would sooner throw myself in front of a car that ever produce baby talk. I am not impressed with the unimpressive yet all four of my kids are doing just fine, heck two made it to adult hood without therapy.

Thing that is great about kids is they are small versions of us. So even if they are asking to play Candyland with you doesn't by proxy mean they need it any more than you do, ya know?

Ah, one of my son's favorite questions is "Mommy, can you play with me?" Usually I like playing with him because I can see how much he is developing physically, emotionally, and intellectually. But I am human and have those moments when I do get bored. Here is what I do when I am less excited at playing something with him. I switch my thinking to how can I use what he wants to play as a teaching opportunity or as a listening opportunity. Just about any board game or card game can be used to practice reading or math skills. If you need ideas you can check out one of my previous answers on the topic of board games on April 1 this year. Sorry, I don't know how to link it. Any of the toys that lend to role playing, like Barbies, can be used to see what your child is currently thinking about. You can see if there are any worries or problems that your child might have, and then use the play as a way to teach a virtue or brainstorm a solution to a problem. As for play with toy food, you can talk about meal planning, nutrition, and kitchen safety. If you have the velcro food you can teach them how to properly handle a knife long before they will ever use a real one in a real kitchen. As for things like legos, you can also use that time to listen and talk about what is o n your children's minds. Playing with them is less about the actual play, and more about being there to show your love for your children and to help guide them through the early years of their life journey. You will be setting the stage for those teenage years. If they know you are interested in being with them now, they will be more likely to come to you when they get older. You can also teach them by having them help you with your work if possible. Kids are often eager helpers when encouraged and praised for their contributions. If you are tired, you can always tell them to play on their own as well, but I wouldn't always turn down their request at playing. You can also teach them that people are interested in different things, and that is part of what makes other people so interesting. It sounds like you are already doing a lot of fun things with your kids. Hope you can enjoy your time with your kids more!

Mine are 6 and 7 so now I feel like they can kind of understand if I say no that it's nothing personal... So now I will say "Barbies aren't for mommies. You guys play that together. I'll play catch with you though." Something like that. I swear boys would be easier for me bc I do like sports. Anyway, I remember a friend saying how much she loves her kids but HATES playing with them. She said her daughter will say "we can play any game you want" and she still groans. I felt so much better when I heard that bc I'd thought I was horrible! I'm actually ok with board games bc I can kind of zone out. Imaginary play though? No way. Too much pointless effort in my adult view. Your kids have each other so that's plenty. And like others, I don't remember my mom ever playing with me. Ever. You're not their friend. You're their mother. I don't think mothers in the old days ever played. Way too much work to do. I've also told them there are things I'm not good at like imaginary play but I'm good at xyz and that seems to satisfy them. So long as they know you love them, don't worry about it. I do think carving out even 15 min to play a board game is doable though. You know there's a time limit which helps and you can organize your life in your head while you play :)

I enjoy my grandson, not so much the games we play. It's just so amazing watching him learning to use his brain and his body, watching him puzzle things through, learn good sportsmanship, gail new skills.. He's six, and much of what interests him is not at all my cup of tea.

Yeah, I'm the same, same, same, same way.

One of the things that's saved me from self-hatred over the years is the realization that if I'm playing with my son, I get a say in what game we play. Left to his own devices, N's choice of game will be "order Mom around for hours while making a disastrous mess." Which Mom, sorry, does not like. I do much better if I say, "Sure, I can play. These are the games I like: Science experiments, looking for bugs outside w/ a magnifying glass, or "let's see how fast we can get this kitchen clean."

I do feel guilty about not "going with the flow" more, but honestly, I wind up playing with my son a whole lot more if I give myself some say in the game.