I have two little boys one 4 years old and the other 5 months old. I live upstairs in double house of my mother and stepfather. For about a year now...everytime my brother comes over...something comes up missing...such as about 200.00 of my older son's money. Two months ago he got busted with heroine...HEROINE. I caught him very high on the stuff around my boys. So I told my parents I no longer want him anywhere near the house or around my children because he hanging around very dangerous people and obviously his drug problem. They said okay at first but now that holidays are coming....I think that they want me to make exceptions so that everyone will be happy that he's there. I don't want him there. He's nothing but trouble and he's not my brother...he's an addict...two totally different people. I feel like I'm being scolded for protecting my kids. My fiance sides with me as well. I don't think they're taking his problem seriously or my kids' safety into consideration. Am I wrong? What should I do? I'm afraid that they will go against my wishes cuz they know we have no other place to go right now. I've talked with my brother for years about this....I give up. I have to protect my kids. I guess I'm preparing myself for the worst. I don't know what else to do.
I'd like to thank you all for your responses. I printed them out so that I can show my mother while I discussed with her my feelings. Surprisingly she understood and my brother will not be joining us for the holidays. But I still don't think they are going to stop enabling his habits. As long as my kids are safe, I'll be okay. Thank you all again and happy holidays.
Aw, I think you are doing the right thing and your mommy instinct is wonderful. Protect your boys at all costs.
Can you put your own locks on your doors?
Best wishes.
Hi C.-
First of all, I would like to applaud you for protecting your children. Your children come before anyone, including your brother. I totally agree with you. He should be no where near those boys. And if your mom has a problem with that, well than maybe your holidays should just be spent with your children & husband. She has to understand the danger that comes with an addict. I mean, what if the people he is dealing with follow him or try to get to him??? God forbid. This is where you have to decide if the holidays or your family is more important. Clearly, you've made the right decision.
I think it s great that you are putting your kids first. Make it clear to your parents that your children come first and that you will not subject your children to that, and hold your ground. hopefully your mom will come around and back you up and respect the fact that your don't wait your kids around that. Have you made it a point to point out why you don't want your kids around him? if not point it out maybe your mom is not seeing what you see. Just make sure that you have valid evidence to back you up. Have you thought to talk to your brother about his addiction? There is a show on A&E that is called intervention to help people with addictions. Anyway let me know how things go. Good luck
Dear Charyl,
I used to be in law enforcement and all I can say is your instincts are correct. I'm sorry if this causes problems with the family, but I've seen so many horror stories of things happening to children who were left in the care of a person on drugs. PLEASE stick to your guns. If you don't want him around your children then tell your family and if they don't like it, then make your own plans for the holidays. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but without going into detail, it's just too risky. I hope you don't think I over stepped my boundary, but your brother is never going to get help if the family enables him. Tough love is the only answer. You have a really good head on your shoulders and you are putting your children first which is the best thing to do. Good luck to you. N.
