My 8-year-old son has a few really good friends in the neighborhood, and for some reason these boys just can't seem to get along half the time. Bickering, tattling, one wants to play something that the other doesn't, telling each other, "you aren't my friend anyore..." I even got a call at work one day from one friend's mom stating that her son had hurt feelings because my son told her son to STOP when he got in my son's personal space and that she had a talk with my son about it. Granted, I know kids don't have filters half the time, but last night I just snapped. I told my son and the other two boys, and one of the moms that they just aren't going to be playing with each other for ahwile. Anyone have any suggestions to help my situation? Thanks!
I really appreciate all the comments and suggestions. I ended up reinforcing to the other mom that I am not liking the way the boys are playing and interacting so we plan on sitting them down and having a little talk with them. I told Jackson (my son) this and he said that right now he really doesn't have any interest playing with this other boy. Not sure how long this will last, but I am not going to force the issue. He might just be growing apart from this boy as interest change. We'll see!! Happy 4th of July to everyone!!
You did the right thing. At this point, let it be. If they want to be friends, they need to learn to work things out amongst themselves. I have a teen daughter and I went through this same situation with her and some neighbor girls Sometimes kids change and personalities don't mesh. As kids get older, they make and break from friends all the time.
I think you did the right thing. Your son and the other boys are old enough to know that if they can't get along then they shouldn't be playing together. So as to limit the headache for you and the other Moms I agree a break is in order.
I think all the advise below is great but I just wanted to add the my daughter and I actually happened upon some old books at the library that we are reading about a boy named Nicolas who is about 8 and runs with a group of friends that all seem love love and hat each other at the same time, get into kits if trouble but have fun too. The stories are really old so some of them I've had to explain (like how Nicolas wants a tv but like most families they can't afford one. And some more extreme than that) but we are as so able to relate to those amazed social situations as we read it again and talk about how each character might feel or could have done differently. Just though you might want to check them out they are a series and have very short chapters.
It sounds like more supervision is needed to get them on track. They're not problem solving on their own very well, or at all for that matter. I'm thinking not playing together is the best bet right now. It must have really ticked off the other Mom to call you at work! Not sure what her story is, but it sounds like she wants a break from it too. Otherwise, she would have had a neighborly chat at home.
You did the right thing. And MamaR is right on with her advice. I think when you do decide to let them play together again, start off with just supervised playing with you and move on to less supervised time. Let them work out some of their issues together, but when it becomes out of control, don't hestitate to stop your son from seeing them atleast unsupervised.
The other mother was out of line. He already has good borders. The other child does not and neither does the mom.
Now enroll your son in swim classes three to five days a week so he has something to do that is worthwhile. If he does not have music lessons figure out which instrument he might like and give him lesson for a year so he can decide if he wants to go on with the instrument. If not let him switch to another one that he likes better.
Build his skills for life and make it worth something for real.
You need to see what exactly the issue is. The dynamics. You need to sit and watch them interact and see where it starts.
