Breastfeeding a 2Yr Old

why dont you look for something to replace you feeding him. Also the whining will only last so long meanwhile he is controlling you. He knows if he complains that he will get the attention he needs. SO give him the good attention.

What a great job you've done to nurse him for 2 years!
I went through this with my 2 girls. The only thing that worked was to just quit cold turkey. I simply told them, "Mommy's milk is all gone." After a few days of asking, they just stopped asking and let it go. It was h*** o* those first few days, b/c they'd look with a sad look and say, "Pwease, Mommy". But I knew I had to stick to my guns and stand my ground. It was time and I had given them my best for 2 years. I explained that Mommy's milk was all gone and there was no more. They just said, "Are you sure?" and "Let me try..." (As if I wasn't trying hard enough for them :-) They were so cute and it was very difficult, but worth it.
I wish you the best...
T.
Mom of 2 boys and 2 girls
Child of God

i didn't breastfeed that long so i do not have any exact input but i do know that i faced the same type of challenge with getting rid of bottle, binky, crib and also learning to use the potty.
it starts with the decision to stop, explaining to your child what will happen, trying to get them involved with something to replace it, and sticking to it. i know this is broad but if you can think of wheening the same way you thought of everything else we teach our children it may help. do not in any way feel guilty though.

Hi C.

Congratulations on breastfeeding almost 3 years! You've done an amazing job and given your little one a great start.
I breastfed my oldest to almost 4 and I am currently breastfeeding my 1 year old.

I personally could not do cold turkey weaning... your son is used to nursing and he still needs it to fall asleep. I don't think taking it all away suddenly will go well at almost 3. Also I definitely don't think it will help with the whining and will probably make nightime a battle for you.

I totally recommend the book by Elizabeth Pantley The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. It's $12 at Amazon.com and you can even find it at the local bookstore. It has a chapter dedicated to weaning a breastfeeding toddler/preschooler gently. I used a lot of her ideas and it helped immensely with bedtime. It worked on a gradual approach where you nurse him less each time while continuing to soothe him.

I will tell you that he might not be ready to wean and that could make it a little bit harder on you. Rest assured though that all the nursing you've done continues to nourish him both nutritionally and emotionally. I know how hard it can be to nurse an older toddler so big kudos to you!

V.

PS: I try to drink a glass of water when nursing to curb that "hunger pang" and get my water in at the same time

All I can say is congrats on breastfeeding this long. I too have been breastfeeding my 2 almost 3 year old; who will be 3 this summer as well.

It's not easy to wean them but for me, I had to wean him off the nights. After 3 plus years of not sleeping, I had to do it. It is hard losing weight while breastfeeding but I feel I have the rest of my life to be skinny as trying to cut back made me light headed.

Now, it's not easy, he did cry but for his benefit and mine, I had to let him cry. I still fed him during the day if he needed it but the nights had to be put to rest so to speak.

Now, for the kicker, I still breastfeed about once a day or every other day as I got pregnant and it hurt so much that I just couldn't do it. I reasoned with him and said if it doesn't hurt, you can have boo but if it does, we can try again later. He is fine with this;

I could never deny him when he was younger but now that it really really hurts, I have to stop. My husband feels that that's a clue. I wanted him to wean himself but sometimes, you have to give them a push. You will feel bad but you do have other children that need you too.

I did not listen to other people as far as breastfeeding a toddler; I still breastfed him because that's what he needed but I needed my sleep at night.

Hi C.,

My 2 1/2 year old son is also breastfeeding. Just like your son, he primarily wants it during nap and bedtime and also wakes up in the middle of the night. On Sunday, I decided after looking in the mirror at my breasts, that breastfeeding had to go! He drinks regular milk so I decided the best way to get him off is to tell him the farmer came b/c the cows were out of milk and needed mine. Sunday and Monday night he went to bed upset but I reminded him that he could have the milk from the cow that mommy helped (he didn't care for that statement). He did wake up Sunday night twice requesting milk but i put him in my bed and he went to sleep (he sometimes co-sleeps). Last night he slept through the night with no problem. Hopefully, by the end of the week he will forget about breastmilk!

-C.

Sahm and really a single parent (husband is out of town for work during the week) to my 4 1/2 year old daughther, 2 1/2 year old son, and 16 year old stepson.

Hi C.,
My youngest son just turned 2 last week and is still breastfeeding. I have 4 children and I breastfed all of them, but not his long. The others were easy to wean because I was pregnant with the next and the milk changed and they didn't want it anymore, but with this one, since he's my last, it's going to be more difficult. I haven't quite gotten to the stage you are at, but I am getting close. I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the past 7 and a half years with absolutely NO break and I am tired, so what I have been trying to do with mine is distract him. When he comes to ask for milk, if I am busy or if he just nursed not too long ago, then I offer him some juice or water or a cracker. Sometimes I try to distract him with a favorite toy or a video. If I know he's tired and it's naptime or bedtime, I ask him if he's ready for his nite-nite blanket. When he's tired he says yes and he does suck his thumb, so sometimes that is my gettaway and he rubs his blanket and sucks his thumb to go to sleep. As much as I don't like him sucking his thumb, right now it saves me from having to nurse him sometimes.
So far, the distractions have helped a lot. He used to nurse like a newborn and now we've reduced it to like once in the day and once at night and lately he's starting to sleep through the night, which he used to wake up 3-4 times in the night to nurse. I've even offered it to him and he's turned his head away and said "NO", so I'm hoping we're on the way to weaning.
sorry to give you the whole story there, but my main suggestion was distractions, to see if you could distract him away from it as much as possible. Good luck and congratulations that you were able to go so long!
Take care and if you find any tricks, please let me know!
V.

We had a weening party on my daughter's 3rd birthday. We talked about it and talked it up for months approaching her b-day, and we served all kinds of milks like a taste-test there, like soy milk, chocolate milk, coconut milk, cow milk, rice milk, etc. We had thew guests bring the milks to sample. As for getting to the weening, I gradually replaced the bedtime nursing with a sippy cup of a couple ounces of home-made nut or seed milk in the bedroom. She did cry when she couldn't have mama's milk in the bed at bedtime, but I had been explaining the process the whole time. I think the crying nights lasted one or two weeks tops. I think I began by nursing her breifly before bed but not in the bed. I still gave her the breast during night wakings (we bed-share) until her birthday. Gradually, we moved the nutmilk drink to the kitchen before bed with a small snack, before tooth brushing. Now we do water with probiotic powder mixed in and a small snack at the beginning of the bedtime routine and keep a small cup of water in the bedroom. This way she can't do the toddler thing of "I'm hungry" because I know she isn't. And for "I'm thirsty," there's the cup right by the bed. Kindof keeps the bedtime stalling to a minimum. I still lay with her when she goes to bed.
Start incorporating other soothing things into the bedtime routine to replace mama's milk too, like a couple lullabys, rocking, back rubbing, etc. Good luck and thanks for nursing your child so long! You rock! Email me if you want nut or seed milk recipes if your child is sensitive to dairy.

C.,

If your son is waking up during the night to nurse, you must know he isn't doing it because he is hungry. IF he is thirsty, though unlikely, you must not offer the breast. If he was under 12 months, I'd say he's waking up because he's teething but you say he is 2 so he isn't waking up because of teeth. Do not offer the breast during the night. He must be broken out of this habit, and it sounds to me like it's more of habit than anything else. IF he insists on drinking something, offer ONLY WATER in a cup/sippy cup...not a bottle and soon enough he should be back to sleeping through the night. If he refuses the cup/water, then it's back to bed and tell him to go to sleep.

As for weaning during the day, just make breastfeeding diffiuclt for him to get at. At 2 years of age, there are plenty of things to offer him as a distraction...a yummy drink of milk or juice in a cup....a snack..toys to play with. You stay at home, so take a break and go outside if you are able to. Wear a bra and shirts that make it difficult for him to get at your breasts and when he does insist, gently tell him that "mommy's milk is sleeping right now." You may still have to nurse him first thing in the morning and at night before he is totally weaned. I do not suggest that you cut off all nursing sessions at once. You begin the weaning process by taking one session away at a time. Usually the last one to go is the night one. Replace the nursing sessions with him sitting on your lap on a rocking chair or couch and read a story to him. Don't use the television as a replacement for you. Do this with love and with understanding and in a month (or two) he will be weaned but once you take a session away, do not give it back. I would suggest spacing the sessions you take away before taking another. I would wait 5-7 days but every child is different so just proceed with caution...and lots of love. Good luck.

The bigger problem you have is finding a way to get him to fall asleep (and therefore BACK to sleep in the middle of the night) without nursing. This will NOT be easy, especially if you can't stand whinning! Read previous posts on helping moms get their kids to sleep. There is NO reason to make him cry it out because there are more humane methods mentioned at mamsource through other posts (I wrote one recently about telling him you'll be right back)

Get the older kids involved, have them introduce the sippy cups, "big people" foods...have them read, teach the potty training (I did this with my youngest, who only nursed for 6-7 months). A 2 year old is probably biting your nipples, too. Have you contacted "LaLecheLeague"? They have nurse practitioners and give expert advice on breast-feeding.
But I still say get the older kids involved with the baby...they will all benefit from the interaction and you could use a break. Blessings, S.

Hope this doesn't sound to bad....I just stopped cold turkey. Gave my toddler a sippy cup and NO MATTER what I WOULD NOT OFFER THE boob. It took a few days for the toddler to get it that the boob was available any longer. Best of luck

Congratulations on nursing for so long, but I personally believe based on development of the child, they should be broken off nursing at about 1yr to year and a half. At that time they already have the immunity buildup they need. Reason being that they have certain habits that they start to form after age 2, and tantrums are one of them, potty training, attachment/separation issues etc. I nursed my baby for 1yr and 2 months. After a while it was no longer a food necessity because he was on solids, it was merely for comfort. I found that I enjoyed the closeness too and maybe breastfed more for me than the baby. After a while it becomes a bad habit and does take a toll on you especially in public. I would suggest finding another comfort item and each time he throws tantrum to get the breast, don't give in, offer closeness with him, provide a teddy, cloth, or other item and slowly let him get used to that. Tell yourself also that it is ok to wean him/her and he will be fine. For my son, I just talked to him and told him one night "You're a big boy now, and no more milk from booby", gave him a big snuggly hug and offered him a bottle instead. Worked fine. He got the comfort of me being there, and he gets his milk at the same time, until now that becomes his routine (but at least he is not taking a toll on me breastfeeding) Good luck and hope you find a solution soon!

C.,
I do not have any advice for you because I am in the exact same situation. I am a mother of three. I have two boys that stopped nursing when they were 18 and 19 months. My daughter turned 2 in Jan. She will not stop. I feel so ready for her to stop but can not get her to. She wants to nurse when she is tired or when she gets a boo boo. She cries and pulls at my shirt when I try to say no. It has been very hard because my boys are still young and she ties me down. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I am anxious to read all of the advice you got! Hopefully it will work out for both of us!
S.

Awesome for nursing! I nursed my daughter till she was 4. Children naturally wean themselves when they are ready. Keep going, it's the best thing for your child.

C., I don't know about breast-feeding for that long, wow! Great job! I wonder if he would still want to breast-feed though, if you didn't eat as much. Try letting him help you make the meals for something different (if you don't already, of course) and see if he wants to eat more big boy food. Perhaps he'll get full on that and full on the one on one attention. My guess is that he wants to nurse because you are his human pacifier. He may just need that time with you. Let me know what happens. I'm very interested in the turn out! Children are so unpredictable sometimes. They certainly keep us on our toes, don't they?
A.

I weaned my daughter at 2 years and 2 months. As much as I loved breastfeeding it began to create challenges for us when she would throw a tantrum in the grocery store saying she wanted "booby" and when she would fill up on milk after day care and fall asleep rather than eating dinner...which of course meant she would wake up at odd hours. I tried explaining to her that it was time to stop but in the end I thought the kindest thing to do would be to put something with a bad taste on my nipples and when she went to nurse and made a face just tell her that my milk was now yucky and offer an alternative. Great in theory at least. In practice I tried a few substances before she was deterred, starting with garlic oil, tabasco sauce and finally ending up with wasabi mustard. She was pretty determined. But I have to tell you that it absolutely broke my heart the day she tasted the mustard and looked at me with surprise. She began to cry and between her tears kept saying "I'm sorry Mommy". Somehow she thought that she had done something wrong and was being punished. She never tried to nurse again but the experience was awful and I really regret that I had not responded to family pressures and forced weaning before she was ready. In the end I don't think I was ready either and praise all you moms on this thread who have kept it up for 3 years.