Can a Person Be Too Cautious?

And even worse, Fox 4 news also said just a few minutes ago that the 16 year old ( I hadn't heard there were mental issues) was SLEEPING when it happened.

Bad things have been happening since the beginning. You living a fear based life thinking like this. You need to careful and wise of course but even then bad things still happen. Not everything is in your control. I think you know this but not sure you except this. I think it just bugs you that your daughter is able and willing to not let it bother her. News sucks. I rarely watch it for this very reason. I'll watch the weather if I see something blowing in but that's about it. I think you need to maybe take a break from it and find something positive to replace it. Doom, gloom and gossip, pass on it and enjoy the time you have with your family. And be careful what you say,we are ALL capable to doing some really stupid things in life and you are not excluded from this list. Step off the "I'm right, your wrong" platform and and walk your life out.
Best Regards,
C.

you cannot live in fear. It's one thing to be aware of the world around you, & it's completely another thing to allow it to rule your world. That's self-limiting based on biased media, 2nd-hand knowledge (at the very best), & allowing outside resources to control/affect your own emotional well-being.

Accidents happen, whether it's in the home or not. It's up to us to use the knowledge that these events bring...to our advantage, to improve our own worlds....not to use it as a method to shut ourselves down & try to control all that is around us.

I think it's okay to watch the news. I think it's okay to readdress the way you live......as long as that change is done productively & not out of fear. In today's world, we are our own advocates......& that's good as long as we don't allow ourselves to become paranoid & closed-in! I also think that we each have our own comfort levels.....& need to be aware that not everyone else agrees with our own interpretation of the world. Sometimes it's hard to allow others to be independent in choice.

As for your ? about whether or not you're a paranoid freak: no, you're not as long as you say a prayer for them & then allow yourself to move on. If you dwell on it, if you allow it to diminish your world & those around you.....then it's time to readdress how you deal with world events. Peace!

I agree that the story you reported is awful, but I hate to judge because I do not know their situation. Maybe because they have so many children they have to work lots of hours. Maybe they needed groceries.. who knows? I cannot imagine they were negligent on purpose.

All I can hope is that parents love their children just as much as you and I love ours and are doing the best they can. These things do just happen very quickly. Heck it happens to the very best parents because we are human.

I asked about what can we all do about reminding parents that their children are asleep in the back seats.. So many people responded they would never leave their children back there and never forget them, but we are all human. We have bad days we have days when we are completely exhausted, distracted and I promise once you get older, your mind does not work the same as it did when you were younger.

All we can do is do our best. Make our children our priority and also learn from these tragedies.

We can not totally protect our children because it does not allow them to explore, to take chances and to grow. They need to trust their own instincts, to admit their own mistakes and to accept that life is not perfect and certainly not always easy.

I have empathy for these parents. How will they be able to go on for their other children? How will they ever forgive themselves? And what are all of us going to learn from them so that we do not make the same mistakes?

My husband and I have this conversation constantly. We have a 2 year old and a two month old, both little girls. They are never out of our sight. To the point that we have to remind ourselves to close bathroom doors when we have company. :) Seriously though if my kids are not in the same room I am in, there is a monitor in the room they are in, so that I can listen to them.

I don't think you can be to cautious, they are just children. Do accidents happen? yes and it' terrible. But like you said we can keep up with these things and learn from them.

I check my backseat constantly, even when I know the children are not with me. Why risk it?

I cut hot dogs into pieces that more test my daughters dexterity than her chewing ability.

I usually don't even plug the bathtub when I'm in the room. Now that I have the two of them in together baths are for quick washes instead of playing.

We have those child safety door locks on pretty much every door. I always knew exactly where my daughter is, I don't want her to be able to move around at night. She sometimes gets up to go to our room and her room is at the top of the stairs, I would rather go get her than have her sleepily fall down a flight of stairs.

My two year old can swim, but that doesn't mean she is ever more than an arms lenght away in the pool, shes only been swimming of a couple of weeks.

At disney or public pools we always know where ever exit is and are never more than a foot or two away form our children.

I admit that I am a little paranoid, but my dad is a crime scene detective and I have heard such horrible stories. I don't ever want to be one of those stories. I blame my paranoia on him.

I also think that you can be cautious and still allow children to have experiences and not be "babied" my two year old is one of the smartest, strongest, funniest, braviest children I have ever met. She is never afraid of taking chances and risks I think because she knows we will be there to help her if needed. She is the first kid to the top of the playground, and will always find a way back down (weather I like it or not). She interacts with other children very well for being so young and makes friends everywhere we go, which is another thing that makes my husband and I extrememly aware of our surroundings. Though we talk about it constantly, it is up to me to make sure she doesn't just "walk off" with someone.

You seem rather obsessed with the topic, to be honest. Why do you keep seeking these stories out if they upset you so much? There will always be unfortunate events in the world & at the end of the day the only person you can control is yourself. So, you can either make yourself sick & worried to death, or you can live your life using common sense & making good decisions.

Death is a part of life. No matter how it happens, it is devastating. Children die of diseases, SIDS, car accidents, they get kidnapped. It just goes to show you that no matter how careful you are, bad things can & will still happen.

If you are THAT passionate about children dying, then channel your energy into doing something about it. Volunteer your time to help the cause. Worrying & complaining do nothing & take the joy out of your life. Take some action, if you want to make a difference.

I don't think you are holier than thou. On the contrary, I think its great you are so concerned about the innocent and helpless' well being. I love what you said about more people should make sure the people around them are okay. We don't do that enough as neighbors, friends and even family.

But don't make yourself crazy. Kids will get hurt in both safe and unsafe conditions. I can be walking right along side my son, holding his hand and he can trip and fall anyway. There are people all over the world neglecting their kids and as a result those kids are getting hurt and dying. As much as you want to save them all and keep them from harm, you can't b/c they are simply out of your reach. What you can do is make sure the people in your reach are okay, which it sounds like you are doing tothe fullest extent. From one mother to another, thank you!

I haven't been following that newstory from down here, but I can tellyou, I'm going to say a prayer tonight for that 5 yo...who knows how this is going to affect him as he grows up.

Yes, a person can be too cautious. It's not really about being cautious, though. It's about whether or not you let those fears, concerns, emotions, etc. paralyze you to the point that you are thinking about them and not enjoying life!

You have to find the middle ground. It's important to be careful, protect children, make sure they are safe, etc, and then go have fun with them. Shake off those worries and just enjoy! If you are not able to think about other things and you just carry those worries with you all the time, the kids will pick up on that. Maybe they will look at you as a worry wort, maybe they will be take on all of your anxiety, maybe they will begin to see that you worry a little too much and not take you seriously.

When our first child was born, my husband was a nervous wreck! Just about everything in our house was a "deadly weapon." He just couldn't stop seeing potential danger in everything around him. He drove me crazy! After a couple of months, I was much more confident in my ability to be a good mom and protect our son. I started ignoring most of what he said. He just made me so nervous if I didn't. It was a defense mechanism. I didn't really want to just not care what he had to say. What if he did have a legitimate concern? But I couldn't do it and stay sane myself.

My point is, I think you run the risk of those around you not taking you seriously. Try to take it down a notch or two. I think you'll find you enjoy life so much better and people will begin to relax and really hear you once again. You need to find the middle ground.

Although that is an awful story when you look at the numbers of two year olds in bathtubs or two year old encountering bath tubs full of left over water this is an anomaly. It just doesn't happen enough to warrant any protection from it happening.

That is not to say be a sloppy parent but living a life full of fear of the one in a million isn't living.

Your daughter not worrying about it seems very normal. After all she has only one child so there is no chance of her other child drowning the other. She doesn't leave water in the tub so no chance of that. I am sure like any normal parent this story will sit in the back of her mind and will in some way form her decisions in the future. It is just for someone's sanity stories like this cannot be front and center driving you crazy with worry.

This story is NOT like what you were insinuating in your previous post. At that time you seemed to just have an issue with people allowing/hiring/having teens in general to babysit instead of hiring YOU to do it.
You seemed to feel that 15/16 was not old enough and you did not consider that not all teens have the same level of maturity/immaturity.
You must realize that there is no way on earth that all these tragedies can be prevented. Not everyone has the same mindset, level of maturity, rationale, lifestyle or morals. So, it's awful, but the deaths will continue.
I don't consider you a paranoid freak because you care, but it is interesting how in one post you complain that people won't hire you because they feel your rates are too high ( and I empathized with you there), but then here you are upset that people are resorting to having a teenager babysit and in this case a mentally incompetent one.
SO, why don't you look into opening some sort of charitable daycare? It won't stop the madness, but at least you'll be doing something to help.

You sound a lot like my mother-in-law, whom I love a great deal. In your first paragraph, I agree with you 100%. 7 children with a disabled 16 year old is very careless. That would bother me a lot too, and I would most probably dwell on it for a while. The parents were thoughtless, and they should be blamed if not punished by the law somehow.
I was a school teacher and I saw how teachers fresh out of college were too imature to take care of 10-12 year olds. The children would literllay act up, do silly things and he/she would laugh it off, or plainly not know how to handle anything. So, even as mothers yes, I agree we don't know how to handle all things. We could be a bit careless. I think our society thinks along the lines of "whatever....." too much.

It took me months to get over the case of the child (I forgot her name) who got kidnapped in Portugal, because the parents left the children in the room to sleep, while they stepped out to have dinner within the hotel grounds. How many of us have done these things and thought our kids were safe? I wouldn't for a second think about doing such a thing.

I'm happy to hear that you're protective, and take extra precautions to take care of children in your daycare. I would trust a person like you 100% if I had to leave my child with you. Yes, accidents do happen, and every mom is looking for a reliable and trust worthy teacher.

I would definitely continue to tell your family to be diligent and keep a watchful eye. It only takes one minute for something harmful to happen to a child. I've seen it before my eyes.