I really think we need a detailed manual on what our kids are going to be doing at every age group. My now 3 year old is going through another stage and it makes me think is it normal? is my child actin out or is something wrong? her new things are crying nonstop for like a hour when she is tired and cranky. Last night she cried at my mom's house cause i touched her food lol. she was tired and wanted nothing, no one either. then we got home and cried for like a hour just cause we woke her up to change her clothes. Im like is this another stage or what? I do need some type of manual lol. then another thing she does is pointing and not talking at times. she does talk, but has this moment where everything is pointing and just shaking her hear. please tell me is another stage as well.you are the only people i can come for help, if not im going to be calling her pediatrician every day lol. thanks
Harvey Karps's "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" also discusses the stages issue and is very helpful for dealing with different stages and ages of toddlerhood.
Agree with the posting on the sleep book - I've found that book very helpful to uncover the reason behind some behaviors. Here's another book I've found helpful over the years:
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 (Paperback)
It's from the American Academy of Pediatrics and covers physical and social/cognitive development phases, as well as has a section on common physical ailments (what could this rash be?)
Won't replace this site, talking to your mom or to your doctor, but I've found it helpful.
A.
Totally normal. Some kids just cry and are more sensitive then others. My 31/2 year old cries all the time, but none of my other kids did that. When kids are tired they just don't know how to act. I would make sure she got a nap no matter what.
Does she have a younger sibling? Sometimes they act out because they want attention. With the pointing and not talking, what I did when my kids did stuff like that is that I would not give them what they wanted until they told me what it was that they wanted. They got the message sooner or later.
I wish kids came with a manual as well!
Hope this helps
Interesting question.... Strangely enough, the closest thing I've found to a manual is the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Sounds like just a sleep book, but it's not. It goes through different stages that kids have, and it talks about how sleep and nutrition can affect the kids' moods while they are in those stages. Pretty awesome book! Do I always look at it? No. But when I do, I remember how awesome it is and I kick myself for having "dealt" with a stage when the answer was sitting on my bookshelf all along!
I do believe it is a stage for the age cause I'm going through the same thing. Joy will be 4 next month. She acts the same way and then some. Son't get me wrong I love my daughters but if I knew it was going to be this hard Idk if I would have become a parent. With the way my girls (14, 7, & 3) act, I swear I'm going nuts.
As children grow they will for the most point "out grow" this at least my 14yo did. Hang in there it'll get better as she gets older.
We would all love to help you, but every kid is different. They keep us on our toes that way. Just relax. Unless it's dangerous, give it some time. She does most of it to see if she can get a reaction out of you.
Send me that manual too! LOL... seriously though, is she feeling okay? Does it seem like just normal cranky behavior or do you thin maybe she's not feeling all that great? You would know better than anyone :) To me, it sounds like the 'trying threes'... she's at that age where she wants to be completely independant and gets frustrated having to ask you to help her with anything. My 6 year old was like that. It was very touch and go there for a while, and left me wondering what the heck the problem was too... but she outgrew it and I barely remember that stage now! Good luck, and remember, it WILL get better! :)
If you get a copy of that manual, can I have one too? LOL! My daughter is 3 and everything is such a tragedy right now. If we wake her up she screams to the point she gets sick. Nothing will console her. It's awful. If she's tired, nothing is right. Everything causes a meltdown. I've started taking pjs with me if I know we're going to be somewhere past bedtime. I put her in her jammies before we leave then when we get home I can just put her in bed. I've instituted quiet time in the afternoon since she no longer naps on a regular basis. Sometimes she sleeps and other times she just watches her movie. Good luck to you! Hopefully they're out of this stage soon!
My daughter has Asperger's and she would have terrible tantrums, but wasn't seeming to outgrow them. However, what you're describing sounds totally normal to me. Three year olds can certainly tantrum--especially when tired. I can also see where language goes down the drain if really tired. Don't worry about the tantrums when they're very tired or hungry. Worry about the tantrums that happen all the time--even when they're well fed and rested! If this isn't a problem, then don't worry!
TOTALLY normal for her age.
She wants to do everything herself, unless you tell her to do it herself, then she wants you to do it, but you do not do it the way she would do it..
So she becomes upset..
Can you win? No?
She wants a little control. Sometimes it is also ok to say, "you know what, we do not have time today for you to help make the lunch, but you can help me make dinner. tonight, please remind me".
But you can help her learn to "Use her words."
Just stay calm and sometimes give her choices. Do you want a cheese sandwich or peanut butter sandwich? May I share this cookie with you? Will you please share your grapes with me? Do you want to take your nap in the bed today or on daddies sleeping bag on the floor instead?
I am sorry, I did not know you wanted to cut this by yourself. Get a child's knife and allow her to try and cut her food, sometimes ask her, "Will you please cut my food today? Thank you for your help. "
"Did you want to wear sandals or tennis shoes?"
Or have a day where she can wear whatever she wants all day long. Even if it is her Kitty Cat costume or one sock on one foot and no sock on the other.. If your staying home all day, who cares?
Praise her when she holds it together. Children are pleasers and like to be told they are doing things just fine.
The 1 hour crying fit is a tantrum. When these happen you need to step away and let her get it back together. Ignore her and go about your business if she floows you, do not say anything, pick her up and place her in her room. The more attention or conversation you have with her, the longer they will probably continue. At home tell her, "Ooo, you sound frustrated, angry (insert emotion). When you feel better come and give me a hug. " Or "You need to go to your room and help yourself calm down. Let me know when you are better."
We noticed that as a family we do better with gradual changes. "We will say, we are leaving in 5 minutes, please put away your toys and put your shoes on." Then we have 1 minute, "do you need help with your shoes?"
If our daughter was playing with little friends we would say, "you have 10 minutes to play, then we need to leave", then "We have 5 more minutes"..
Sometimes our daughter would ask "5 more minutes?" We would many times allow for this because we planned for it.. Granting her this gave her control. There were times when we just had to leave and we would say, "Thank you for asking, but tonight we do not have any more minutes. Be sure to ask next time.." And when we left and she did not throw a fit, we would thank her for her "good attitude" or "Good cooperation. "
If you are in public and she has a tantrum, leave, every time. Do not say a word. Leave your grocery basket, your library books, whatever. Place her in her car seat and leave. We only had to do this once and that stopped it. When she calmed down I told "I sure was disappointed that I was not able to finish my shopping.I told her, "I hope we never have to leave again , just because you were frustrated that I would not let you out of the shopping cart."
When she is having a good day. Let her know you are noticing her good attitude..
90% of kid-stages I learned from my Developmental Psych textbooks.
They're fantastic because they don't do either pop-psych OR the whole 52 word by age 16.346 months ;) ... but instead talk about language development, independence phases, cognitive and emotional development... and why multiple month to multiple year ranges are NORMAL, authoritative v authoritarian v permissive parenting.
These books literally go through each age group and related stages from infancy to old age, and are incredibly helpful.
Two good authors are:
Laura E Berk
Development Through the Lifespan
http://www.amazon.com/Development-Through-Lifespan-Laura-...
Kathleen Berger
Developing Person Thru Lifespan
http://www.amazon.com/Developing-Person-Through-Life-Span...
They run between $60-100, although they can be bought used for far less.
