Let me start by saying I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and answer my question.
We have these neighbors, they've lived accross the street for just over a year and moved from waaaay out of state. They never shared with us why they moved; just that they decided it was time for a change.
We've always been friendly with them, until a few months ago we saw the wife getting phone numbers at a bar- her husband was at home with the kids. Oddly enough, every since then she doesn't wave or say hi to us- no communication at all!
Well, over the weekend my husband was up late with some friends and family from out of town and at first he didn't realize it was her- it was an unfamiliar vehicle patrolling our street very slowly so he got suspicious and our dog started barking so he went to see what the comotion was. Turns out it was the wife hopping out of the backseat with another man! Down the street, not in front of her house, totally suspicious and there was definite contact between her and the guy.
We don't want to get our noses where they don't belong since we have to live accross the street from them and we both agree that we don't know them well enough to say something. I'm friendly with his sister (that lives down the street) but probably not well enough to tell her for her to say something. I mean, we don't talk to either family on a regular basis; just more like normal neighborly pleasantries and that's it.
But now every time I see him or her I want to scream because she is continuing to act like my husband didn't see her (which he knows she did). If the situation were reversed I would surely want to know! Of course she'll deny it because we don't have specific proof.
What to do, what to do...help! It's driving me nuts!
Oh- I should ad that they have 2 kids (oldest isn't his but he is the father figure) and it's not like I want to break the family up but I feel like the guy should know- afterall, we're 99% positive that they moved here because she was cheating where they lived before!
Has anyone been in this situation before? Again, we aren't going to say anything but I wondered if anyone has dealt with this personal battle before.
Thanks to all who answered! As mentioned, we are definitely not saying anything to anyone but here's a side note- my husband's good friend used to work with the wife at a resturaunt (she bartended) and he filled us in that this guy would always show up for her shift, stay throughout, and they'd leave together when her shift was over- and it defintely wasn't her husband! Sounds like it's a bigger problem than we realized! Not our problem though; so we're staying out! It's just hard to sit by and watch it happen though, I know anyone can relate to that! Thanks again!
More Answers
E.
answers from
Dayton
on
The same sort of thing happened with our next door neighbors. My husband found out the hard way that it is best to not get involved. He did not tell the wife that the husband was cheating--she found out on her own-- but by just listening to the wife and trying to be supportive he almost lost a friend in the husband. Let me tell you--it is HARD, especially when the girlfriend moved in. It has been terrible trying to explain their situation to my six-year-old. So I bite my tongue ALOT. Trust me, look at the wife with disgust if you want, and make it obvious you know what is going on, but do not tell the husband. You will only make an enemy of both of them. If she is being that obvious about it, it is only a matter of time before he finds out everything anyway.
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R.C.
answers from
Dayton
on
J.,
I understand where you are coming from when you say that if this was your spouse you would want to know. I would also want to know, but there are people who do not want to know. There are also couples who get involved with other people and it is something they negociate within the boundries of their marriage. It appears she is sneaking around but in todays world you just do not know. You are neighbors with these people not their friends. Considering you do not know this couple, I would stay out of it. You could start a feud between the two of you and I don't think you want that. Stay out of it! R.'
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M.P.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
Human nature wants us to seek JUSTICE for all wrong doings. However, the idea of sticking noses into others business may come with a considerable amount of negative side effects! It may be different if you knew the couple better. You don't know what either is capable of and it might be even be directed at your family. Her husband is probably not stupid and eventually he will figure things out without your input. My advise....stay out of it, be courtious to them both and keep your ideas to yourselves unless directly asked! What a difficult situation indeed! God Bless!
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K.
answers from
Dayton
on
J.,
I have to agree with the other two ladies. It'd be too easy for the husband and wife to make you the subject of displaced anger. Just keep a low profile and be polite like you are, and don't get close to them. He probably has an idea what she's up to anyhow if he's getting calls from bars.
