Child Being Fickle

Don't cut out snacks. Children get hungry more often then adults. Part of it is she is testing her boundaries. If she doesn't want what you offer. Put it in the fridge and offer it for snack or lunch. Let her know in that way that there are boundaries and you aren't going to waste anymore food. She's not going to understand if you tell her People in China are starving so you need to eat everything. You already give her choices wich I give you kudos for now let her know the boundary that if she doesn't eat what she chose it's going to reappear. Also do you let her get up and down from the table when it;s time to eat??? If so that maybe another reason. Sit down and have a piece of toast with her and coffee. She may want you to sit with her to keep her company.

I have 3 grown children and I was blessed enough to be a stay at home mom. When my oldest child (a girl) had her breakfast I sat down with her even if I didn't eat, and I fed her after her trip to the bathroom and dressing her. It kept her from getting distracted. It soon became routine. I work in a clinic setting and taught a class on nutrition just yesterday. One bit of knowledge from the class is that the hunger feeling only lasts 10 to 15 minutes. Then you become distracted or it passes altogether. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day because your body has gone so long with out nutrients. Its not necessarily important what you eat but that you eat something. I wouldn't suggest things like cake, candy or ice cream due to the sugar content. Even if it isn't "breakfast" food she needs something in her stomach. Good luck!

Well, I know that is frustrating knowing that a growing child like her is not eating alot. I have had the same problem a time or two. I tried only having meals with my 4 year old daughter...it didn't last long. I've heard so much since then about children depending on snacks. Even if they have big meals, that won't help them. They need snacks. Most of the time, that's how they eat and get their needed nutrition. As adults, we always think that they are not eating enough, just a little banana or toast or juice. But their stomachs are much smaller than ours and they use their energy that they get from foods, especially fruits, so fast. Most adults are not as active as a toddler is. So, I guess my advice is to only give your child a small portion of food at meal times. I know it sounds silly, but give her pieces at a time so that she doesn't waste. When she eats that, give her more. Don't necessarily make her eat everything on her plate. I read a recent study that said you could cause overweight issues with your child by making them clean their plate. A child's stomach is only as small as their fist. Imagine that! That is small! I've forgotten that alot and expect my child to eat everything on her plate. Now, I have a snack at her request in the morning and evening and only give her a bite or two at a time. I still let her feed herself with a spoon or hands, but it has definately cut down on the wasting. I think that putting alot of food in front of them at first really intimidates them and they think they will have to eat it all. I think it's so easy for us parents to expect alot from our kids and we should! But not in this area! My daughter has a wonderful appetite and loves variety, but sometimes cannot eat alot and sometimes she will keep asking for more and more! I hope this advice helps! It has worked for me and remember every child is different, but I think it will work! Also, try to let your child cook with you, even if it's just mixing or pouring. They love it and then they will know what it has in it and it will be more fun, I think for them to be involved in what they're eating! Good Luck and God bless!

Try to offer small amounts that are quick to fix when she says she's hungry. I know my four year old did this for awhile. He would get distracted and want to play instead of eat. If it's there quickly maybe she'll eat.

Is there a pattern to when she normally is asking? Maybe you can have some things already made up in baggies in the fridge like fruits, veggies, etc. Pretzels are good, too. You may not want to offer "snack foods", but something quick might curb her appetite for the moment and not fill her up before a meal.

Also, another thing I think I was doing was offering too much that was overwhelming to look at. I had to make sure my portions weren't too much and that helped, too.

Ultimately, remember she will be picky from time to time and will eat when she truly is hungry. The fruits and veggies prepared ahead of time and things like pretzels portioned out in little amounts might help with the wasting food. Good Luck

My mother is a dietician. When I had this problem with my children she told me that I was the problem not my child. Children will eat when they are hungry. Children also eat differently than adults. Children need snacks between meals because their stomachs fill up quickly during a meal and they will be hungrier sooner than an adult. The key is to feed them smaller meals more frequently--breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper, snack before bedtime. Choose healthy snacks--fruit, yogurt, peanut butter crackers, cheese and crackers, glass of milk, etc. Then it won't bother you that they are snacking. If they don't eat it put the plate in the refrigerator and tray it again later. I am a diabetic and this is how my doctor told me to eat. It may be that children are following what is naturally healthier for you to do.

How about a schedule? You set a time for breakfast. You decide what's for breakfast. If she doesn't eat,fine. You tell her that lunch will be at noon or whatever hour. If she gets hungry before lunch, you simply say "I'm sorry but you choice not to eat breakfast". It isn't lunch time and you cannot have snack. If you are really concerned about the wasted food, make smaller portions (half a piece of toast with peanut butter) and offer that later. Don't get angry or emotional when she doesn't it. That could be pushing your buttons.

She may be trying to show her independence or take control. She will say something when she is truly hungry.

P. in Memphis, mom of 25 yr old son who was born premature and a picky eater for many years. He stopped it when he went through a big growth spurt.

It's ok, I have a 4 year old little girl who has done the samething for awhile now. As long as she is eating something, she should be fine.. My daughter doesn't like food for some reason, but when she is in a growth sprut she WILL eat.. I mean all day long.. Hope it helps..

I also have a 3 year old that does the same thing. I don't even offer her junk food, but that is what she asks for all the time. My pediatrician said to feed her what we eat and give her small, healthy snacks between meals. This is what we do, but it makes for alot of drama at meal time and she's ill tempered because she doesn't eat. It is incredibly frustrating. I think it's a 3 year old thing. This too shall pass :)

I have to agree with the previous replies,it definately is a phase she is going through,but you have to understand that its not aboutthe food,the quality or quantity,its about control.She is testing you in a way that only a 3yr old could.Please stand your ground.Be very firm and dont give in. Trust me,if it was nt the food it would be something else.And parents are usualy on some guilt trip or other and give in...She will not starve.The next time she refuses her breakfast after she has asked for it make a resolve ,the following day when she pulls the same thing,sit her down and tell her no.Be firm and explain in simple terms why.
Just remember,mom is the boss ..not the kiddie!
Best of luck

Is she shunning what you've fixed to try to get something different? If so, I would say to hold whatever you have fixed for her and the next time she says she's hungry, that's what she can have. That way less food gets wasted and if she knows you won't back down on that, she might eat it when you serve it to her the first time. I have a daughter who is 8 today, and we have similar issues with her still. She's very picky and pretty much lives on goldfish, yogurt and chicken nuggets. If there is anything more interesting to do, like playing with friends in the neighborhood, she'd rather do that than eat. She's been that way since birth - very distractable during feedings as a baby and didn't eat much. For my daughter, it's a control thing and it sounds like the same with yours. Good Luck!

When my children didn't eat something they indicated they wanted...I mean not eat at all vs. just not being hungry for a whole sandwich and had eaten half...it would be there for the next meal and the next. They learn very quickly that being Fickle Franny does NOT pay off and they'll eat what they are served. She won't starve herself, don't worry. And I'd cut out milk and juice unless it is with a meal. Small children can fill up on those calories.

Welcome to the world of parenting a toddler! =0) Don't stress so much about making her eat at precise scheduled times. Now, I wouldn't let her eat pizza at 9pm or anything, but a little "give" will go a long way when it comes to your sanity! Always remember to "pick your battles". That's my advice.

My three year old went through a similar phase. We have always had the rule that we eat at set meal and snack times, and if the kids don't want to eat what we give them, that's fine, but they don't get anything else until the next meal. I don't give my three year old a snack when he skips or eats very little at meals because he's always happy to eat snack food (nuts, yogurt, raisins, crackers, etc.) over meal food. I don't generally offer choices at dinner, but there are limited choices for breakfast and lunch (which cereal?, PB&J or ham sandwhich?, for example). However, for the times when my son has a choice and I give him what he asks for and then he refuses to eat it, I save it for his next meal. That way I don't have to feel bad about wasting food, and he learns that it's not okay to do what he's doing. I haven't had to do that too often, and he got the point that I wasn't going to play games with him and eating, and he's stopped. He's always been thin even though he's a good eater, so I know he'll survive if he skips a meal or two. He usually makes up for it the next day, and we don't have food battles at our house any more! Good luck!

i dont think i would worry to much about it till she starts losing weight i mean all kids go through things like this she may just grow outta it

My son is about the most easygoing eater that ever was....until he turned about 3 (he's 4)!!! However, he still will turn down cookies/sweets for fruit and veggies. But now every mealtime is a chore. He does exactly what you are saying about your daughter. I have just had patience with him, but NEVER let him get by with not eating some of it if he asked me to make it. Are you making her sit at the table and not get up when she's eating? No TV or toys? We have lapsed a little with these because my husband travels alot...so that has set us back some.

His new thing when I ask what he wants is "surprise me!" Then when I get his food ready he has a meltdown because that isn't what he wanted. I made the mistake when he was younger of catering to his food choices (although healthy, still not good) and not requiring him to eat what I wanted to fix, so we are restructuring our eating habits too, which is challenging.

My opinion -- I don't want to force my children to eat/clean their plate/etc. due to the whole overeating trends in America. But when it is dinner time, or they request something, I require them to eat a little of it, getting the variety from all that is in front of them. If he refuses, its off to his room until he can join the family and eat like a big boy. Gradually I am seeing that works the best. He will come back to the table and sit with us and finish his meal. Good luck! I HATE MEALTIME!!! ;)

First realize her age, her attention span is not very long.
Second she may just be saying hungary to get/have your attention. I found that when mine were little, I would start the day with them drinking water only. They didn't have to drink the whole glass or anything;but it gave them time to wake up.By then they were usually ready to eat.
As far as the wasting food, find something like fruit or dry cereal...something that could be re-wrapped and fed to them later in the day. Notice your childs eating habits. Some would rather snack through-out the day:some want a whole meal at a time. I now babysit. My family/children are all grown.I watch to see what kind of mood my baby is in. fussy...don't push the food. Silly and wiggly, again do not push food. Just a snack here or there. Your little girl will tell you and show you she is hungary.
Another good way is to sit down with her on your lap and share out of the same bowl. Mix lots of different cereals with popcorn, raisins, nuts, other snacks. We call this trail mix, at my house, and we keep it in a jar easy access for everyone. I realize she is young and must be supervised, but just a few fists fulls(her fists) will help her stomach begin to come awake.
M. be creative! Who says there are only certain things allowable for breakfast? Find things she enjoys and you enjoy to eat and have a picnic or tea party! Invite her teddy bears and dolls! Enjoy your baby NOW, so you can tell her and then her children(your grandchildren) just how cute your MOMMY was in her little hat playing teaparty! Smile and just relax darling!Have FUN!!! LaDonna B

Your three year old daughter sounds like my three year old daughter. She is very wasteful. Sometimes when I know she is hungry and refuses to eat I will make her take a few bites and then save the rest for later. When she gets hungry again I will pull out that same snack and thats all she can have. She will put up a fuss, but if she gets hungry enough she'll eat it. i also use to offer her foods, but I now wait until she comes to me. Let me know how it goes. P.S. I am also attending school. Isn't hard to focus on your studies when you want to spend time with your kids?

hey there! The only advice I could give you is to feed her in small portion ... 6 small meals aday. This is what my dr told me to do when my son was 3. he is a picky eater ... or maybe it is never to early to let her help fix what she wants to eat... they seem to be more willing to eat then. last thing that has helped me with my four is to put whatever they didnt eat in a baggie and offer it to them next time they say they're hungry ... just stick to your guns that they dont get anything else until they finish that ... usally at age 3 they can undertand this concept! Good Luck!!!

only feed her when the appropriate time is. she will eat if she needs to eat...she will not starve herself.

I think that what I would do is this: Even if it's the appropriate time to eat , just fix your daughter a small amount ( for instance, 1/4 of banana, half slice of toast, etc...) of what she's asked for, in case she doesn't eat it. Or, alternatively, make what she asks for, and if she doesn't eat it, she has to eat what you've made for her when she is in fact hungry, or when you've deemed it time for her to try again. She sounds like she's going through a "testing of limits" or "learning boundaries" time, right? I used to go through something a little like that with some children that I was a nanny for in the past. Maybe if she sees that you're not going to go through making different meals for her if she doesn't eat what she's already asked for, she'll learn not to say she wants something when she doesn't really want to eat.

I can't wait to see the respnses to this. I have a 4 year old son and a 2 year old daughter and they do this sorta thing to me all the time. They have recently even been turning down thier favorites like hamburgers and fries. I know that sometimes when they haven't used the bathroom before we eat they won't eat but, other times I am clueless. Everyone keeps telling me they will eat when they are hungry. So I only make them eat a few small bites that really count like their veggies. I make them sit at the table until they eat two or three bites. I am like you I have taken away their juice and snacks. I keep trying all kinds of food.
Just wanted to let you know that you weren't the only one. I can't wait to read the responses. Good Luck

Yep! It's a 'control thing'! YOU are in charge. Keep it that way, and you'll both be a lot happier! Kids need FIRM boundaries. My dear, meek brother just had to take his only granddaughter to a juvenile home because she's never known who is in control. Although children TRY their boundaries and seem to 'want' control, it's a scary thing for them to actually BE in charge! They are not equipped to run things, nor should we let them! Dispair not! We shall overcome! LOL
Blessing 2 U!

What can I say... she is a typical 3 yr old. Just leave it sitting there till she is hungry and wants it. It is out and she can get it whenever she wants it. When she gets hungry enough, she will eat. You are not alone in this situation. We have all been through 3 yr olds doing he same thing. It too will pass.

my child is the same way-he will NOT eat breakfast and will not eat off of his own plate unless its rice. the way i see it, as long as he's eating something he's ok so i let him snack all he wants. i don't give him candy all the time, but i do give him goldfish crackers, peanut butter from a spoon, fruit snacks, anything like that.

Explain to her that there are people who don't get enough to eat and she is fortunate that she has food to eat. This sit her down and tell her we do not waste food and she cannot get up until she finishes her food.