Chores - Eugene, OR

I found this site (http://www.handipoints.com/index.php) while looking for incentives for my 16 year old. This is a wonderful site, but is set up for younger kids. It helps parents and kids decide what chores and what kind of goals to go for. It is also very interactive for the kids. Hope this helps.

It sounds like you have a great start. My 5 year old son is good at helping with the recycling and helping put away the non breakable things from the dishwasher. I have heard not to tie the money to the chores or when they are feeling tired they say they don't care about the money because they don't feel like doing the chores. Tell him everyone in the family has chores to do.

A.

For a seven year-old, I think setting the table for meals, maybe putting dishes in the dishwasher (if you use a dishwasher) and maybe learning to fold laundry. I'm trying to think back to what I did when I was that age. I know for some WEIRD reason, I LOVED cleaning the sink...

Maybe some dusting things that are his level--the TV screen or something like that. And how fun would a chore chart with stickers be? :-)

Hi G.!

I have a six and seven year old and I found this website and WOW! It is helping me a LOT. It is free and helps you make chore charts as well as lets them have some great positive reinforcement for doing their chores. Personally I don't believe in tying $ to household chores because I expect them to do certain things. We have certain 'special jobs' that allow them to earn $ so that portion of the chore chart I ignore.

http://www.handipoints.com/printchart.html?gclid=CLjj--Hj...

I also pulled this off of KATU after I saw a story that was done....hope it helps!

Here are a few ideas for age appropriate duties: Look them over, use
them as a guide, and tweak them to fit your family. You know what your
children are capable of. Personally I think our children are much more
proficient then we give them credit for!

2-3 years old:
Feeding animals, weeding in the garden, folding wash cloths, taking
silver wear to the table, passing out napkins, pick up toys, get
diapers for younger sibling. Remember at this age chores will often
need to be redone by Mom. The object is to teach, not to accomplish a
lot at this age.

4 and 5 years old:
Setting and clearing the table, sweeping and dusting, helping make
their bed and keep their room tidy. And don't forget to praise for
work well done!

6 to 8 years old:
Simple yard work, sorting and folding laundry, feeding and watering
animals, helping prepare meals (It's never too early to start teaching
your young chef) and packing lunches.

8-10 years old:
Sweeping and vacuuming, taking out the trash, helping younger siblings
with home work, help washing vehicles, folding and putting away
laundry, helping supervise care of younger siblings.

10-14 years old:
Laundry, dishes, heavy cleaning, helping out with a family business,
lawn care, gardening, meal prep, painting, baby sitting younger
siblings, help shopping and full responsibility of their rooms.

15 years old and up:
The sky is the limit! My favorite perk of having another driver in the
family, running errands and transporting younger siblings!!!!!!!!!

Whether a child receives an allowance for doing chores is a family
decision. Some believe that earning an allowance teaches children to
manage money and some believe that working together is part of being a
family and there is no monetary reward. What ever your choice,
approach the idea of chores not as a burden but as a way to help your
family function at it's very best!

Happy Planning,
Janet L Davis
Our Children's Place
A Playful Academy
1110 12th St
Hood River, OR
###-###-####
www.TeacherJanet.com
____@____.com

Here are just my thoughts:

I'm actually not a big fan of giving children an allowance based on chores. I consider chores to be a necessary element of being in a family. My four year old has a number of chores: He feeds the dog; picks up his toys; vacuums his play room; strips the sheets off of his bed; helps me make his bed; he sets the dinner table; he helps clear the dinner table; he helps wipe down the table; he helps clean his bathroom; etc. These are his responsibilities and he is SO proud to be such a good helper. (And, yes, I do have to admit that his vacuuming and cleaning efforts are not even close to perfect - but he's only four and he does his best so that's what counts.)

If he does not do his chores, then he does not get privileges - like going outside to ride his bike or getting to watch tv or going to the park, etc. But he gets his $4 per month allowance no matter what.

(I don't want him to EXPECT to be rewarded for doing things that he should be doing anyway; otherwise, I think kids develop the attitude of "why should I do "x" if I'm not going to get anything?" I also want my children to learn how to handle money.)

My son CAN do extra things for a little extra money. When we know he is saving his money for a new Thomas the Tank toy, I might offer him $1 to scrub his brother's high chair out on the front lawn, etc. But his chores are his chores and they aren't linked to his allowance.

There are many little things around the house that he can do. I took a class on the subject and what I had learned from there is that you shouldn't prize them for everything they do because later in theirs life they will just stop doing things only because mommy is not there to tell them: "Good job", give them a treat or money. So with that in mind you need to pick up the shores he must do and the shores he can get paid for. Just think what you want to keep as a good habit and don't prize him for that but definitely need to acknowledge it with something like: "I saw you clean up your room very nicely!" but NO "Good job!" in addition. Keep the "good job!" for other things. Paid jobs should be a small shore that an adult can do but different than a thing that he should do for him-self. The paid jobs should contribute to the family like helping his sister with her homework (not doing it, just tutoring) or weeding the garden. The best is to take it out of the house like helping a neighbour and etc. I hope you got the idea. The rule is if you want him to have it as a habit do not pay him or prize him to do it. Let me know if you need more info on that subject. Good luck!

Hi G.,
My son is 5 1/2 and he has been doing chores for a small allowance for about 6 months, now. This is what he does:
daily- set the table, feed the dogs, pick up the close in his bathroom after his shower, put his tub toys away, and help to clear the table after meals. Weekly- clean the mirror in his bathroom, the counter and the inside of the toilet, pick up and put all toys away in his room and playroom so that I can vaccuum and put away his clothes after I've folded them.

His allowance is $1. We break his dollar up like this: 1 quarter goes to his piggy bank, 1 quarter goes to the weekly collection at church and he gets 50 cents to spend as he pleases. As you can imagine, you can't hardly buy anything for that so he has learned to save a little (only 2 weeks worth, which gives him a dollar)to get something. By doing this, it has made him more aware of how much things cost, simply math to figure out how many weeks he would have to save to buy something and cut down tremendously on the "buy me's'" when we go out and instead, replaced it with, "when I get my allowance, I am going to come and buy this."

Anywya, just my 2 cents on what we do in our family. I have some great websites that can help with money learning and management for this young age if you are interested. Good luck!

Hi G.,

I may have an unusual way of looking at things in this department. My husband and I don't like the idea of allowance for the sake of allowance. And we don't like the idea that we pay our kids to do a few basic things they should do, as a part of the family. So, we've created a system where they do chores (duty) and also have the opportunity to earn as much as they'd like to earn. It's a little harder to keep track of this, but it seems to work pretty well, overall.

Basically, we have included chores from the time our children were about 3 and look at chores as unworthy of reward or payment. We tell them it's because they are a part of a family that they have certain things we expect they do each day, just like we do. If they fail to do their chores, it impacts the whole family (we want to instill this understanding that there are things we do not because we get a reward but, because we exist and co-exist, we must).

It doesn't have to be a ton of work put on them - it just has to be work that is theirs and consistent and expected. Because, as it is with adults, it doesn't matter what the job is, a job well done offers its own reward of personal satisfaction and contribution (and, for children, a growing sense of self esteem is a great thing to nurture).

Beyond that, we offer a list of jobs, each with an amount they can earn. If they want to earn money, they can do as much work to earn as much money as they would like to earn. It's interesting - sometimes they decide to do a lot, usually after we've been to the grocery and they've asked for something like a pack of gum, to which I've responded, "can you afford some gum? If not, you need to do some jobs so the next time we come to the store, you can buy some gum."

We figure, in life, there's always stuff you have to do, whether you want to or not. And, in life, if you want more than the basics, you have to get to work for yourself. So far, it's a good system, although, like you, I sometimes battle the consistency factor (time management with all the things we do as moms these days!).

The other thing that has come up is that it takes a lot of time for them to generate a good amount of money - it's not all instantly given. So we created banks for them and are coaching them on what to keep in and what to take out, so the whole discussion of money management is there, as well. But we allow them to make the choice - it's their money. If they want to blow it all, then that's it. It's gone. If not, they may be able to use it at a critical time. They have all saved and saved well, on their own. A fun thing I remember hearing and have shared with them is the story of that long-term study they did on the "marshmallow test" - did you ever hear that? A researcher sat in a room with a child where there was a hidden camera, a small table, two chairs and a phone on the table. Just after they said hello, the phone rang - the researcher answers, says "okay - be there in a minute" and hangs up. She (researcher) tells the child, "I've got to leave the room for five minutes - I'm going to give you this marshmallow. If you don't eat it, I'll give you another when I return. If you eat it, that's it - you only get the one." She leaves and the camera captures the children - some sitting there, just waiting; some "pretending" to eat; some nibbling and hoping it won't be noticed; some chowing down! Apparently, they followed the group of children into their adult lives and determined, the children that held out for that second marshamallow were clearly more successful in life than the group of those that did not. It's fun to tell this story to children - kids are so smart! They totally get it.

Anyway - hope it helps in your process of pondering this - I think it's great you're doing critical thinking on this, btw. It's easy to slap down allowance at a certain age and not really think about what you want to achieve for their overall character in life. But YOU are really thinking about what's important for you to instill, as a mom. And that's worthy of a great deal of respect in my book. I hope you know that you're teaching them, in the process, how to think things out - and that is hugely critical. I fear we are leaving our children with more problems than were left to us - and believe teaching them how to think critically and problem solve for themselves is a life skill they are going to need even more than we do! So good for you, G.! You're the best kind of teacher for your children.

Hi! We just recently assigned our 5 year old daughter some chores. A few ideas [depending on your situation of course]are

1. feeding animals
2. dusting with a dry cloth
3. pulling weeds in the garden/flower bed
4. sweeping w/a swiffer
5. wiping kitchen counters and cabinets with a damp rag

Of course these jobs won't be done perfectly, but I think the idea is getting kids used to helping out and earning their way. You might find he does an excellent job! My daughter is a phenomenal dry-duster! ;)

G., kuddos to you on the consistancy! This is my weak area. However, my kids have chores of their own. My oldest is 12 and cleans the kitchen, loads the dishwasher, wipes down counters; my 9 yr old is responsible for the living room, dusting, and keeping messes picked up. They do their own laundry folding and putting away. I have not had my 4 yr old do much except to pick up his toys and put his folding clothes away. Thanks for the suggestion on getting him started early. Oh, and my 12 yr old takes out the garbage while the 9yr old takes out the recycleables. Not much else to do around the house than that. Hope this helps!

I started giving my now 11 year old chores at about age 6 or 7. I made a list of chores he needed to do on a given day to earn his allowance. They included things like taking out the garbages, windexing the sliding glass doors, picking up pinecones from the yard and sweeping the patio. Now he has more advance responsibilies such as cleaning the bathrooms and using comet and a toilet scrubber to clean the toilet, somtimes I have him take a washcloth and clean the baseboards that can get dusty if you don't clean them every now and then. He's also almost ready to mow the lawn.

Hope this helps!

I have my six year old daughter empty the dishwasher. She like to sweep the garage out.

I started my boy out with vacuuming at that age. He also likes to water the garden and mow the yard, but we have a push mower and you can see all the dangerous parts and how they work. Come to think of it, it was at that age, or a little younger that I was able to teach him what the weeds look like so, he can take care of that chore as well.

best of luck!
Sarah

I would add things like setting the table, clearing it, sorting laundry before and after, outside shores, etc.

He should be paid for such chores because the benefit the whole family.

When assigning chores keep in mind that you are raising your boys to be adults, not children.

I think you are doing fine.

Hi G.,

Some of the chores that we have our 8 yr old daughter help with are dishes, she helps her younger brother pick up his room, we have a shoe pile, that she likes to straighten out, besides her normal room cleaning. Its hard for us to find things for her to do so its just usually the dishes, and help with her brother's room, and the living room, she will help pick up.

Good luck.

I value the family that learns to help each other & work together as well as having fun together. Sometimes you can combine the 2. If I ask my 5 yr old son to put the toys in his room away, he asks me to set the timer to see how much he can do in 10 minutes. (he likes to race) He also puts clean silverware away (takes 5 minutes) and helps set the dinner table. Sometimes he'll complain a little and then he'll complete the task and smile. He usually is proud of his accomplishment. My son gets plenty of play time and I don't think you're asking too much at all :) My 2 year old likes to put her toys in the toy bucket while we sing the "clean up, clean up" song. If I dust, she'll want her own rag & will mimic me. I appreciate what you're trying to do with your son... its not easy. My parents gave us responsibilities and then there was time for play. Now we are all grown and have very close, loving relationships. I think part of the key was instilling that each job had a purpose and was important for some reason. (if dishes are dirty, what would you eat off of, etc.) I would suggest plenty of encouragement & verbal praise for a job well done. This may or may not be helpful to you, but at-least you know you're not alone :)

kids learn by immitation. folding the dishtowels, wash clothes, bath towel are pretty simple. matching socks, each family member is also easy. setting the table, carrying dishes can be tricky unless plastic. just remember, kids are not as neat as us, so be thankful he is "helping" you.
teach him to share, that is a biggy.

R.

Someone just asked this question about a week ago and they had about 70 responses, you may want to look through the recent requests!

My three year old puts away dishes and laundry, helps me load the dishwasher and washer/dryer, vacuums, cleans up her toys, and feeds the cat and fish daily. She loves to help, and also helps get me diapers for the baby, throws away diapers too.

With older kids I'd have them do two specific things like their own laundry, room, and rinse their dishes then they can pick one other thing from a list, helps them begrudge it less when they feel they at least have a choice in what they do.

Once a week we have "cinderella sunday" when the whole family picks one extra thing that doesn't get done daily, like dusting, vacuuming upstairs, windows/mirrors, etc.

Your oldest son can help you with the dishes. He can dry them as you wash them if you do so by hand. If you consistently wash your dishes in the dish washer, he can help you unload it but stacking the clean ones up on the counter for you to put up. My soon to be 8 yr old daughter and my 4 year old daughter help me sort their laundry to wash. They sort the whites from the darks, then I take over from there. Anything that is questionable, they put into a different laundry hamper for me to go through. Any simple tasks that you do, let him help with : weeding the flower bed, feeding pets if you have any, helping with the groceries, etc. My soon to be 8 year old use to dislike helping me with the little things. Now she enjoys it and even asks to help with tasks like vacuuming, mopping, washing windows, etc... Not that I believe in "child labor" or make her do every little nitty gritty job that I have, but she does help everyday with a new task and she enjoys it.

We have a great resource here in Eugene for parents who want to have good relationships with their kids while giving them the structure they need to become happy, healthy adults. The best part is its FREE. There is a class at LCC's downtown center that runs each quarter and during the summer session. If you search for it online at Lane Community College's website you can find it under Saturday Circus. During the school year it meets on Saturday morning, which means the parking is free, too. There is childcare for $15 per term--my kids love it. This class helped me with questions about chores and so much more. Give it a try.

My kids do not get paid for taking care of themselves- making bed, dishes, laundry, taking trash out etc.... They will have to do these things as adults anyway. The get paid for the extras- mowing, washing the car, watching the baby, and any other thing that I can not get too.

There are certain things that every person has too do in live or they live in a nasty house, I see no reason to reward for something that is a part of life. My kids are a little older, but as young children they swept, mopped, vacumed etc for money- I always had to do it over after they were in bed, but they liked money and helping mom and they did their best.
Maybe sit down with your son and ask him what he thinks his chores should be maybe explain to him what chores are etc...

We recently started a chore chart for our 2 1/2 year old. I'm not real strict with it yet, but it gives her a visual of what she is expected to do on a fairly regular basis. It has four things on it: feed the cat, make her bed (which is mostly me with her help - it's a big bed), pick up toys, and put away books. I made it really fun and colorful with a picture for each thing so she knows exactly what each thing means. We laminated it and she can mark off the squares with a dry erase marker. There's lots on info online (and from these wonderful women) to come up with chores that are right for your family and your kids' ages. I would recommend a chart of some sort so they know what is expected and so they can see their weekly progress. I don't know if you need to tie an allowance to it, however. I know that never really worked for me when I was little, and these are things that they need to being doing to contribute to the family. If you do want to do an allowance, I would highly recommend making them save a good portion of it. Then you're teaching them life skills and how to effectively manage money instead of just giving them something to buy toys or candy with right away. Make it fun and good luck! :-)

It sounds as if your 7 year old already has a few chores that he does on a regular basis. My son will be 4 in 2 1/2 weeks and he folds his clothes and puts them away. He also carries in the laundry from the dryer and puts it on the couch, and folds towels (big and small, although I do not require him to fold the big ones...he just likes to help...and is very good at it!). I do not give him any reward specifically for helpign out with things he always does. I will give him something like a piece of candy if he does something exceptional, but I don't think rewarding for chores is the greatest idea, at least in my opinion. I want my son to learn that there are certain things that you have to do every day, whether you want to or not, and that you won't normally get rewards for doing it.

I really like the way my parents did it. My brother and I had chores and got an allowance, but the two were not put together in any way. From the time we were able to understand the basic concept of money, we were given a small allowance and taught how to handle money...how to save it (we could spend it on our own by then lol), why to save it, the rewarding feeling of saving up for something we really want, etc. Our chores were always seperate...never had anything to do with any kind of reward. I believe the thinking was along the lines of 'nobody is going to pay you to do your own dishes when you are older and you need to know how to do them, so here are your chores'....probably not exactly like that, but that's the general idea. Of course if we were sick or something we were excused, but it taught us to be responsible...not that we should only do our chores if we got something out of it.

On the other hand, if you start giving an allowance (ours was weekly) and he asks if he can earn some extra money...or if there is somethign he really wants, but cannot afford, you may be able to help him find "extra" chores to do to "work" for the money...something like helping wash the car or rake the grass or something that is more work than he is normally expected to do. He will really feel proud that he worked so hard for the extra money, but I would only use it to earn extra.

Looks like you've already received quite a few ideas, some of which I plan to use myself! Just thought I'd add what I do with my 2 1/2 year old already.

*She likes to sort the clean silverware into their proper cubbies in the drawer. I pull a chair up and put the dishwasher thing on the counter and let her take her time, not worrying about perfect stacks.

*She likes sorting her socks, making matches, and putting her own clothes away in her drawers. Again, it's not perfect, but perfection isn't he point.

*She likes to put her own dish in the dishwasher and get her own dishes out for meals, so I have plastic kid plates in a low drawer so she can "set the table." Our fine china is often tupperware plates for everyone!

*When she makes a mess, I have her do her best to wipe it up.

On a personal note, by the time I was 6 or 7, I got a nickel per chore... I was saving for a horse!

Hi,

I have a 2 and 4 year old. I give my four year old tasks to do to help out. When it is things like taking her plate to the sink or cleaning up a mess she's made or anything that relates to her, it's a "responsibility". If I give her a task that is just a helping task like unloading the dryer clothes into a basket, I give her a quarter. That way she knows that somethings are just part of taking care of the world around you and need to be done without reinforcement and other things can earn you something nice (like a paycheck).

When she gets older, she'll probebly have chores that are "responsibilities" like doing the dishes but extra work that she can get paid for.

Maybe something like that will help with your child.

G.,
Cleaning out the dishwasher( just have them put the dishes on the counter for high cabinets),setting and clearing the table. Feeding any animals, dusting, pulling weeds,watering plants. Kids this age love to help. Have fun.
S.
Mother of three girls 12, 9 and 5

When my 6 year old wants some spending cash she asks me for a job to do. (She also is responsible for her clothes and help with setting the table, etc. just because she is a member of the family.) I give her our small stick-type vacuum cleaner to do a couple rooms, or I'll give her a bucket of soapy water and a rag and have her wash the stairway walls, kitchen cupboards, etc. She is old enough to identify the weeds vs. the vegetables she helped me plant, so she can weed our garden squares for us. She loves to do these things for me, and I appreciate the extra help! I'm now teaching her how to clean the bathroom properly so that she can help with that, too. (We use Melaleuca cleaning products, so there's no chemical worries there.)

Have him dry dishes, or unload the dishwasher. Sweeping sidewalks, pulling weeds are good, too. Folding laundry, washing out the sink in the bathroom. Of course, not all of these things -- just one or two that he can do that will make him feel like a partner in the family dynamic. I applaud you. Many people think that it's too much trouble, and that they'd just rather do it themselves. Good luck!

I used to teach a money class for parents and children and I'd be happy to email some of the strategies. A great tool is the Moonjar. www.moonjar.com. It's a way to teach saving, spending and giving. The best thing is to have a sort of contract ahead of time to identify which chores will be paid for and which ones are expected as part of the family. This way you teach that value as well.

I started my kids with helping set and clear the table, but only things that were small and not too heavy. Gradually they advance and now my 12 year old hand washes the dishes.

My kids just liked to help at a very young age which was great. I gave them an allowance but it was a money lesson not a reward for chores which we all have to do all our lives. When they needed extra money I found extra jobs for them to do to earn it. It has worked great! We are military and keep our house ready for inspection with no big deal about it, it's just the way we live. Get something out, put it away.

How about sweeping any wood or tile floors? Helping set table for dinner, clearing table?? the 3 yr old could help dust low shelves that dont have breakables or use a dustpan for crumbs on floor.

I would have my 7 year old collect the trash from the bathrooms, put the silverware away and help with "folding" towels. the 3 year old( i have one) I have her wipe down the table and the chairs. And she helps with sweeping the floors. Good luck!

I am a parent to 5; grandma to 7 and now foster children throughout the year. My 6 year old grandson learned his colors by sorting his dirty clothes when he was 18 months old. He delighted in being right as he sorted. Each foster child that comes into our house gets their own alarm clock, if they are school age, and they get the priviledge of choosing(it does take some discussion for them to learn this) how long it will take them to get ready for school. When clothes are folded(some of them help by age 3 to 6), they get to help put their clothes away in their rooms. I have hanging clothes organizers and they pick their outfits for the week and help put them in the daily pockets. Emptying the dishwasher is a job most of the children help with. When meals are done and the dishwasher is available, all children put their own dishes in the dishwasher. I had 15 month old twins in care that always fought to put their 'own dishes 'way'. They became pretty good at it within a month. I've had 9 year olds that were bedwetters and they become very proud of themselves at their ability to run the washer and dryer on their own. Children that are given ownership of their home and families are much more likely to have pride in it. It takes patience and tolerance to teach each child but the end result is wonderful. Allowance is something that my children got so they could learn to handle money. At first they recieved a small amount but had limits on their spending of it. No candy, no soda. They could buy gum or mints. When they reached 9, they were allowed to devise a budget and then their allowance was raised. I guided them through it. They paid for their school lunches, although they were allowed to make their lunch if they wanted to save money. They had to buy birthday gifts if it was a friend's birthday(they learned many crafts and making beautiful gifts). They were required to save some money. They loved seeing the money go into their savings. If the clothes I bought were not their choice, they could pay the difference and pick their own. I.