Desperate for My 5 Yr Old to Sleep in Her Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this is hard for you but she will stop on her own at some time. It will not be too long before you miss her being there.

It is almost every night that my 5 yr. old grandson wakes up and comes and crawls in bed with us. We know he is coming and when he does we have a choice. Make a little room, snuggle while he still likes us and wants to be around us, or get up night after night after night to take him back to bed.

I would prefer to get me sleep. The 8 year old used to do this every night too but she hardly ever does it now. She has to be feeling bad to wake up and want to crawl in bed with us.

It is going to take a few nights with maybe not much sleep.

YOU are the parent. One night you take her back every time she climbs into your bed.. And the next night, have your husband do it.

Do not say a word during theses night time returns.. Just walk her back and make sure she is in bed. But during the day, have a talk with her about how she needs to stay and sleep in her room.
Tell her the truth.. She is physically too big to sleep with you all and you need your own sleep. It is too crowded with her there.

Tell her it is a rule just like she is not allowed to talk back to you. She is supposed to follow the family rules. and so one of the rules is, "she is not allowed to sleep in your bed."

Sounds to me like all you are missing is the willpower to get out of your bed at 1 or 2 am and walk her back to hers. Really, that is all you need to do.
Don't allow her to get back into your bed. YOU have to get up (a pain, I know... but it was back when she was 2 or now, and you chose now rather than then) and WALK her back to her room. Don't carry her. Don't admonish her. Don't convince her. Don't tell her to go. Just get up with her, and put your hand on her shoulder, turn her towards your door and start walking.
Yeah... you'll have to do this every night (and probably a few times every night) for a week or maybe more. Eventually she will get it.

It's going to take consistency. Every night when she comes into your bed, put her back in hers. Every time. Even if you would rather sleep before going to work or whatever, you have to be consistent or it will never work. Good luck!

Just be patient and keep bringing her back to her bed. I would not be angry or make treats as this will just confuse her (since she has been able to stay in your bed in the past).

Talk to her about being a big kid and that it is time for her to use her own bed. I would keep staying with her until she falls asleep then go back to your own bed. It will take a little time for her to re-adjust so just keep bringing her back when she comes to your room.
I would also suggest getting a sound machine and a night light.

I did the same thing with both of my kids. What a headache! I began making them sleep in their own beds by about 4. We just couldn't get a good night's sleep anymore. Allowing them to sleep with us was totally our faults. But they were babies and we loved having them with us.

The rule I have to enforce with my husband is RETURN them to their beds after they do the sneaky sneak into your bed. Even if it's in the middle of the night, no matter how exhausted you or hubby are. it is super annoying to do but do it enough and slowly, the sneaking into your bed will go away. Good luck!

I would tell her that she is 5 and a big girl and that if she gets out of bed and comes in your room your going to put a gate across her door. sorry I am not and never have been one of the moms who has kids in my bed every night. I think kids belong in their own beds. period. i have had sick kids in my bed but then move them back to their own rooms right away. your the mom take the control back. she will cry and it might take a week but make it happen.

Basically, and this is not the fun part, you will just have to keep putting her back in her bed. My daughter was the same way, she would climb in to our bed after 5 years of sleeping with us, or on her mattress on our floor. It will just take some time and sleepless nights, but you can accomplish it. Just don't give up. I think we sometimes expect things to be easier than they are. Parenting is hard work and you will get there!! Good luck, and the super nanny has some good advice!

What's missing is you being the parent and just telling her she will now sleep in her room and enforcing it. If you want that then you need to take charge and put up a gate or put a lock on the outside of her door as if she was a toddler. She will learn very fast then. I would be nice about it but just say you are not allowing it anymore as she is 5 years old and a big girl now and you and daddy need your bed and so if she can't do as you say and stay in her bed all night you will have to lock the door. I won't take long at all. If you can't control this I hate to think what will happen when she's a teenager.

HI M.,
I hope some of the advice that you've been given works. We've done it all and been consistent with each thing, giving it ample time before switching strategies and nothing worked for our son. When I say EVERYTHING I mean: walking him back to his room every single time every single night, letting him sleep with us (no one sleeps well), mattress on the floor (he wants to touch us or he wiggles around and kicks the wall and we are awake), talking to him about how much we all need to sleep; trying to reason with him, bribing him with "stuff", laying down with him, getting an extra night light so he can *see* that the scary shadows are just objects in his room, melatonin to reset his sleep cycle and help him sleep better to try to beak the waking habit, mattress on the floor in his room.

My son says that he just doesn't like sleeping alone. He likes being next to someone, and I don't blame him. It's nice to sleep with somebody. I have finally relented to the fact that he's just a snuggler and he'll grow out of it.

I hope you have better luck. I know some day I'll miss him climbing into our bed, but it sure gets tiring!

I wouldn't do the mattress on the floor by the bed. It isn't teaching her to sleep in her own bed. It is teaching her to sleep next to your bed instead of in it. Take her back to her room. It will be tough because you will be up and down for a few nights but if you don't give in and let her stay, she will learn that her bed is the place to be. When she comes to your room, just walk her back to her room, tell her goodnight, walk out. Don't stay with her. Try, try, try to stay calm. (I know how hard it is when you are exhausted and frustrated.) I would start with rewarding her if she stays in her bed for one night. Every night she stays in her bed she gets a small reward. After a week she gets a reward for staying in her bed for two nights in a row and slowly work your way up to a week. She has been sleeping with you for a long time so breaking the habit is going to take a while. She will get there. Just be consistent and don't give in, no matter how tired you are.
Also, I would get something for her to snuggle with and give it to her when you take her back to bed. Hopefully, she will get into the habit of snuggling with it instead of you. You could also try putting a body pillow in the bed so it feels cozy, like sleeping between you and your husband. If she has a full or queen size bed you could put a pillow on each side of her. I have done that with our son.
Good luck! :)

I would second the mattress on the floor next to your bed. My friends' twin sons tend to do this a lot (one of them on a nightly basis and they are also 5) and they finally just put down mattresses with sheets, pillows and blankets for them. No matter how much you fix up her room, sleeping with Mom and Dad is still all she remembers at this point and it's become a habit and it still makes her feel safe and secure. Most likely she won't still be using the mattress by the time she is 8.

I would not get in her in the habit though of having the TV in her room and using that to get her to fall asleep. Watching TV at night tends to do just the opposite - gets them more stimulated and apt to stay awake rather than relax and fall asleep.

I'd put a mattress on the floor by our bed and let her sleep there. Some kids just seem to do this . . . she will *eventually* grow out of it, probably about the time her brother starts doing it. :\

I agree with Angela's Idea for now start her in her bed and put a little matress in the floor of your room and when she climbs in say No nothing else and put her on the floor bed. I told my daughter that duringthe week mommy needs to sleep with a lot of room because of work but you are welcome on the weekends which is what we did for a few years..

Stop negotiating with rewards, start giving her consequences...she loses her TV, take it out of her room, or something else she likes, "things big girls do," when she comes to your room. Tell her that the rule is she sleeps in her bed and her room all night because she is a big girl and big kids sleep in their own bed, period. Put an outside lock on her door, or a tall baby gate (and remind her she's acting like a baby) or better yet, lock your bedroom door to let her know you are serious and this isn't negotiable.

This truly doesn't need to be an ongoing problem, you're the parents, set the rules and enforce them.

Not sure how old your son is, but if his crib is still in your room and he doesn't need feedings in the night, could you put his crib in the other room with your daughter? My 2 kids have shared a room from the beginning and I know the younger one is really comforted by that. I resonate with what Victoria W. replied as well; I had to get up in the night when my younger started coming to my bed after moving from his crib to his bed.