Do I Give My Sister the Diamond

I think that would be so thoughtful and very very special special... priceless really. My vote is to do it...

Save it for your son. If a ring is important to them for engagement, its for him to get with/for her. If you really want her to get it as an engagement ring, you should offer it to him not her. If you just want her to have it don't tie it in with him at all.

Several thoughts on my end...like your idea with the 4 stone ring. As far as the diamond from your mother's ring, I'm thinking it might mean more to her if it was a surprise from both you and her man. For instance, why not take him aside and reassure him you are NOT trying to push anything for your sister, just wanting to share a meaningful family momento if he is now or at any time in the future leaning in that direction. I wouldn't "give" it to him, just let him know that you currently have the stone from your mother's ring and that you know it would be very special to your sister if it was incorporated into any "meaningful" gift from him. If he says outright, yup I'm on it and ready to go, great! Give it to him. If he isn't in that place and taking things a bit slower than you or your sister are thinking, just reassure him this is NO pressure but that when he is ready, you have the perfect stone for the occasion and that it would make the ring that much more special for you sister. What a double surprise for your sister - an engagement ring AND it has such a special stone that she wouldn't be expecting. Bide your time, though. Don't rush into that conversation because if the relationship doesn't work you don't want to feel like your "pushing" the issue drove him away.

Don't know if you will revisit this or not but I would wait until they are talking marriage and then approach the man she is seeing and ask him. He then can decide if he wants his token of love to contain this diamond. If he chooses not to use it then you could have it set for her in a pendant. The 4 stone ring i would leave the way it is for now. I have a similar situation I have my moms 3 stone diamond ring and her ruby ring. i wear them daily and cherish the memories of her (my mom has been gone 5yrs) and the beauty of the rings I don't want to mess with. i have 2 sisters. Good luck and God bless you with your delema and your generous heart.

I think I know how you feel as I have been where you have, and it is very generous of you. It seems that this has some far-reaching implications, such as 1)if you want your sister to have the diamond, why would you wait for her to get married? How would she take that she can only have the diamond if she is to get married? 2)It is a very nice 'offer', but the marriage is between her and her not quite yet fiance. For all you know he has a family heirloom that he would like to give to his future wife. A ring is a very significant piece between the couple, are you sure there is room for your gift? 3) And what about later, would you like to save that ring for your son to give to his future wife? Perhaps the best solution is for you to think about it but don't act, and when it gets to the point they they (not just her) are talking marriage if you still want to offer it then go ahead. Just realize that the ring is a gift to them, not just to her. You don't want him to feel that whatever type of ring he wants isn't good enough. As far as the other stones in the other ring, I think that is about what would make you feel good. I once took a stone from a ring my father gave me and had it set into a necklace for my neice for one of her significant birthdays. It meant a lot to both of us and that made it special. If it would do the same for you and your family members, then by all means do it.

These are keepsakes! Why do you want to disassemble them? I mean I do understand the concept of sharing with your cousins and sibling, but would they be doing the same thing? Keepsakes are meant to be cherished as is, and passed on to the next generation. If your sister's getting engaged, let her and the guy go shopping and looking for something that they both like.
I wouldn't give up keepsakes unless/until someone brings it up and you can discuss it as adults. Your intentions are appreciated, your heart in the right place as far as sharing, but I wouldn't be hasty about either one.

Truly: it is yours, do what you like with it.

If you want to control what happens to it, keep it. If you are willing to free it to someone else's control, give it to anyone you want, for any reason you like.

You mom is not the diamond, and neither is it your mom's love. It's a token that reminds you of her... anything could be in its place, including a lovely memory.

Don't overthink it... but I'm inclined to support any step toward overabundant generosity. It feels so good to do!

By all means do it! It is a generous, kind gesture! Remember, though, that some women are particular about what they want regarding her engagement ring. Don't let it hurt your feelings if she says no thanks!

You brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful, unselfish gift. My husband's family has been fighting for years over things that were supposed to be given to each sibling when their mother passed. It's sad and has broken them in many ways. I think you should ask your sister if it's something she would like, and let her take it from there. I also think that the 4 stone ring is a wonderful idea. Maybe you could wrap them up as a holiday gift.

I think it is awesome that you are thinking about it. I hope you do give it to her, I'm sure it would mean a lot and it sounds like you've received the same in the past and know that it means something.

You're a wonderful sister for sharing it.

You are a wonderful sister for considering this. I think this would make your sister very happy.

It's a nice gesture to offer the diamond to your sister, but I think the ring and diamond were meant for you.

thats your call I think you should do what you feel is best and what your gut says.

Hey R.,
Im sorry about your mom.REALLY i feel your pain. Heres the thing if you feel conftorable giving to her go for it and if you dont and think that something might happen like she might sell it then the answer is N.O. but i bet that your mom would love it that you trust your sister and that the ring was past unto the next generation. And only give her the ring if you think it might make her happy. If I was in your situation Wich Im not the youngest I wouldev gave it to her and it would probably save her alot of money. You sound so giving and I know your confused but that is part of life and you did the right thing of asking for help cause it would take alot of time since your talking about a ring that used to be your mom. And I did have rings that my mom has given me and if anything that happend to them I would cry. But this is your choice im not telling what you should do. You do what R. wants to do.

R.; if your mom gave it to you , then its yours, you can do with it as you wish, how wll you feel if you split it up ? will you feel good, or will it make you feel bad? its ok for you to keep it , just as it is, unless she wanted it split up ? i dont know, you have to figure out what is best for you and what would your mom want?
either way im sorry for your loss, and hope things all go well, i also have a very encouraging brochure entitled when someone you love dies, if you would like to have this, please let me know and i can mail it to you free of charge, D. s

I would keep the ring intact and ask your sister if she would appreciate such a gift for a wedding present...

If your mom knew that you were getting the diamond ring you should keep it. Someday you may have a daughter or granddaughter that you want to give it to. It's generous of you to want to give it away, but don't. I also wouldn't break apart the ring from your grandmother. I also suggest that you start wearing the rings and enjoying the memories about the people that they are from.

HI R.,
I think your plan sound great. I also think that is very nice of you. I might wait to see what exactly happens with your sister and her boyfriend. Just to see if the relationship works out.

I would wait until you know for sure that they are getting married and decide then. I had my grandmother's diamond that my father passed down to me. When I got engaged my now husband wanted me to go with him to choose the setting and stone for my ring. I then went to the jewelers and had a beautiful pendant made with my grandmother's diamond. I wore this on my wedding day on a strand of pearls from my maternal grandmother. It was my "something old" and new. I also now have something to pass on to my children when the time is right.

This is a tricky one - you have to be very careful with "family things". I think I agree with a previous poster who suggested saving it for your own son. Your sister's boyfriend may have a family heirloom of his own he wants to give her. I think the important thing is to wait until it appears emminent, and take him aside, explain the situation, but be understanding if he turns you down. Ultimately, it's his decision.