Do You like Your Kids Exactly the Way They Are?

For my seven-year-old daughter's sanity, I wish she weren't so much like me. But I love her for everything that she is and is not.

i wish my oldest wasn't so emotionally driven to drama as i am. i wish my youngest wasn't such a whiner. i wish neither of them had ADHD.

but they are MINE. and i love them warts and all.

I think this is a really good question. For me it one of those questions that is super easy to answer at first but soo very hard at the same time. My 3 sons were all born with bilateral cleft lip and palate. So of course they have had various feeding issues, and some health issues due to the clefting, and obviously have had and will have to have lots more surgeries. I would wish for them to be born without the clefts. But then when I say that I feel so horrible, because I love them with every ounce of my being, and I love their crooked little smiles and everysingle thing about them and feel like I am being so bad to say I wish they were born "normal", I dont really know exactly how to describe how i feel, almost like i am betraying them or being selfish. I guess the easiest way to answer is I wish that I could take away the pain they go through with their surgeries and procedures. It's funny, because I honestly dont know if I would change them having their clefts, it makes them strong and special, which I know every child is special, but you know what i mean... great question though, it is just like a hard one for me i guess. sorry i have rambled on and on, it has been one of those weeks you know, but in a good way so I am feeling really sentimental and emotional about my babies!

One thing that would make my life easier is if he would go to play in his room and give me a bit of quiet time. I remember as a kid staying in my room contently playing with my toys. There'd be times I'd get in trouble and be sent to my room. By the time I was told I could come out I was content and would stay in there. He just doesn't seem into zoning out in his play, he wants to be around me. That's not always a bad thing since I doubt that he will want to be with me when he's 14!

Overall of course he's perfect as is, but it'd be handy if he'd go play! :-)

I would make my oldest daughter more confidant and motivated. She's perfect in every way, only she doesn't know it. I think she is floundering as to what to do with her life. She's 19, still young, but I wish she would have the confidance to start her life.

NOOOOOOOOOOO! Mine all have their quirks and they are perfect to me. Even my most challenging (super difficult) and strange one mystifies me and makes me so proud. She even has a large birthmark on her face and I wouldn't even change that. This is a very serious problem with your friend that breaks my heart. I have seen this happen before and it is tragic for the child to sense they aren't good enough, or loved unconditionally. She needs to seriously not wish for her daughter to have a different personality. If there are basic behavior things she could be handling better (the mom) that is completely on her, not her daughter. Sorry to be down on her without knowing full story, but it's a parents job to teach basic rules and nurture the person their child IS, not try to change it or judge it.

I wouldn't change a thing...in my eyes, he is PERFECT! :) Doesn't ever parent feel that way?

I love everything about my son yet there's one thing I would change. He's bipolar and i would take all the pain he suffers from away. He has taught me so much about life and I cherish everyday and moment with me. Yet it breaks my heart to see him go through what he does...it was hard when he was diagnosed but this is the way God made him and I'm proud to be his mommy!

No, I would not change anything...
I will admit that it has taken me years to appreciate the wonderful person my daughter is, I had an idea in my mind what having a daughter would be like and she had a very different personality them me, and she also had different interests...I have always felt like there was something wrong with me for feeling that way towards her and sometimes felt like my affection toward her seemed forced, but I am so proud of her and cannot imagine her any other way, we just took a little longer than the norm to bond. It was never her, always my problem...when I accepted her for who she was instead of who I had thought she should be it all just clicked. She has had some issues that we did not clearly recognize when she was younger, mainly sensory issues. Now that we have a child who is on the spectrum a lot of what we went through with my daughter I can now view in a whole new light, I feel terrible that the issues went undiagnosed with my daughter.
My youngest has several diagnoses and the only reason I would change any of it would be to make it easier on him, but we as a family have pretty much adapted around him. I think all children have unique little quirks...I think the struggles we have gone through have helped shape our relationships and I do not think I would want it any other way.

I would take away the G/T aspect of her brain. It makes it hard for her to relate socially to kids and it is heartbreaking. Plus, she is BORED at school which leads to burnout.
I would also let her see how wonderful she is. I don't know why she is so hard on herself, though I am hard on myself in my mind. I do not say it out loud.

I know when she is a teenager I can't do what my dad did because I see a lot of myself in my daughter which is great, I was a very smart teen.. although I hope she is smarter about boys than I was. She does things now and has her days that drive me bonkers, but I wouldn't change a thing. I absolutely adore her personality and her love for life.
I would wish that she would let me take pictures of her maybe though lol I have to have very fast shutter speed to get nice pics of her. I think a small handful of parents just get too caught up trying to make their kid/s perfect or make them a little clone that they get disappointed when they aren't that way.

If i could change things about my kids...yes I would love it....but I think alot of their quirks I would have to change would loose who they are.

My oldest is a bigger whiner....that wouldn't be miss.

My middle guy has an attitude. which can be cute.....but oh so annoying.

My youngest has a Sensory Processing Disorder...Although I would not do away with his energy, I would do away with the trouble with listening he has.

I think my kids are pretty great. I can handle the quirks about them that make me pull out my hair....I hope when they are teens I can remember there were days now I could cry....Teen years are just something tougher and new.

My son has a TEMPER and it flairs with the smallest things.

LOL. Yes!

To ME he's a really "easy" kid (not that I don't want to put my head through drywall from time to time... like this morning, in point of fact). It's just really easy/natural to parent him. He's fun to get to know. I really, really like him as an individual, and it's fascinating to watch him grow up / slowly start becoming the man he will be.

I really like kids in general, but the ADHD kids are the easy ones. The ones I just "get". Neurotypical kids kinda scare me. I can have a house with 5 adhd kids in it and just coast, but 2 normies and my son and I'm just waiting for disaster to strike!

I am helping a friend out this week and watching her kids for a couple of hours. Her kids are much more timid then mine..... and it REALLY makes me appreciate my high energy no fear kids!

Yes I do. He has a mind of his own, is a champion for under-dog type kids and really is learning to speak up for himself. He's polite and kind and I often get compliments on how respectful and polite he is when he's away from home with others.....

I would like my son not to have epilepsy, and have to watch his every move, He is almost 9, and had just got to the age where he didn't need quite as much "watching" now he needs more than my 3 year old.
I look at him constantly, in case he is about to have a seizure.
Personality wise, I wish he was a little less angry, for his sake.

I would make my boys more safety and health conscious. Hopefully that will come as they mature. But probably not unless they marry someone who is.

I like my kids exactly the way they are...and I love them for being so.
They are both individuals, with their own minds.

I ACCEPT my kids, for 'who' they are.
That is ALSO a parent's job.
To do so.

Children are individuals.
Not a copy of us.
They are themselves.
And should be.
So that they have a healthy self-esteem and KNOW WHO THEY ARE. And not be followers.
Both my kids, are very self-aware and have their own, identities.
Thankfully.
I would not have it any other way.

I wish a few things could be different about my kids for their sake. My oldest is a little awkward and i feel she will get picked on during her transitional phases. She is very tall and seems to mature too fast. my youngest has teeth enamel problems, i would definitely change that for now, even though her adult teeth will be just fine, but im sure having caps and not being able to have candy like the other kids is going to be hard.

My daughter is so sweet, I wish she'd just have a little more "fire" for her own self protection. Most loving girl in the world, I just hope she can learn to stand up for herself. We practice, role play, talk about it frequently, but If I could change her in just those instances, I would.

Everything else - no way. Amazing human being, better person than I.

I wish my almost 4 year old daughter looked more like me. Don't get me wrong, I think she is gorgeous! And she does look like me a little (she has all of my coloring; eyes, hair etc.) but she also looks a little like "him" (dead beat dad), so it's hard on me sometimes (I truly don't like him). I do find myself envious when I see kids that look identical to their Moms. But, my daughter is AMAZING and I am SO BLESSED!!!
ps. the one thing I try to do, is think that, without him, I wouldn't have her, so it makes it better ;)

My first-born is so nice to everyone, but her sister and me (me sometimes).
my second daughter is perfect in every way. She has a hearing loss and if anything I wish I could give everything for her to have normal hearing.
BUT they are the reason I breathe and smile and feel complete.