Do You Love Where You Live?

I did love where I lived. I was born in raised in northern CA. I actually could never see myself living there again. I then lived in Colorado, and LOVED it there. Due to the job market, we moved to Minnesota. I have lived here for over 5 years and still dont feel like I fit in. I think it is more about the people, and it is a little too cold for me (and I do like the cold).
I have come to accept that this is where we are going to be for awhile. My kids like it here ok. The school system here is good. Im trying to make the best of it. We are here for some reason. I have definitly had my sad days, but it makes the days long to sit in pity. I know I wont be here forever, but I need to make the best of it.

I love Wisconsn. We have every kind of weather imaginable. However, that said, I would not....I repeat...would not live somewhere where my kids would not enjoy it. All my kids live near me and when offered the chance to go live with my mom, all refused because they like the change of seasons and the varied landscapes. Good luck. PS I too love the sound of rain and wind.

well i hate the heat and i live in houston, so the weather makes me quite miserable at times, but the autumn and the winter are so great for me because i rarely wear a jacket. I would prefer to live somewhere colder though. But 3 years ago i bought the house i was raised in, i doubt i will want to leave this house for quite some time.

Who wouldn't love over 300 sunny days a year? Here are a few reasons we love Colorado:

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire beer.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is.
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. You know who Alfred Packer was and what he did.
28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight
42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'
43. You've 'checked for ticks'
44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.
45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
46. You've played golf in January and.....
47. They were in the same year!

I think it is super important to love where you live. I really love California~ I also lived in Tennessee and it was my second fav. place on earth! My hubby and I are both on the same page---we want to enjoy where we live, so even though California especially our area, is one of the most expensive places to live--we make it work.

M

I really like the Prescott area, where we live. But that doesn't resolve all of your concerns. Prescott does have four seasons (sick of snow already). My impression is that people are pretty nice. Lots of people bike on the roads here. BUT...it's still a desert (although Chino Valley has pretty desert grass in my opinion). Another BUT...economy is yucky up here.

I think if I didn't like a place I lived, I'd always be on the lookout for a replacement job somewhere better.

It's VERY important to me. I used to hate where we live (yay, rain for 10 months, yipee. Overcast skies something like 300 days a year - meaning no BLUE, just the perpetual grey/white skies the vast majority of the time... oh joy. oh rapture. oh pfui.). But I found things that I can really enjoy / get passionate about for at least 6mo a year - 4 months in the mountains and 2 months of water sports. (AND meds that work on the pain that gets into my joints in the damp for when I'm back in the city.)

TO ME... that's the most important thing about location: not being in pain, and having things one loves to do. Otherwise.. what have you got? Boredom and misery. Yep. THAT'S reconcilable.

Don't get me wrong... I can do anything for a year or two... but I won't THRIVE unless I'm happy. And, lets face it, weather has a lot to do with being happy.

I grew up traveling and moving... I've lived in a LOT of different places; jungles, swamps, deserts, forests, mountains. I haven't lived in the plains, but I've spent time there. Places with 1 season, 2 seasons, 3 seasons, 4 seasons. Different places make different sorts happy.

Let's take one of my sisters and I (purely as an example)

On a purely physical level... I love the sun and my sister hates it. I tan and she burns. I love and adore snow (my joints don't hurt below freezing or above 80) and can spend time in the snow going full bore and come rushing in with pink cheeks totally content... she spends snowy time trapped inside the house, miserable, because she can never get warm - and she's not an "outdoorsy" kind of person unless it's balmy weather, so she doesn't get warm from moving.

On a mental/emotional level : I feel like the world is spread out before me when I have an ocean nearby, she feels trapped by the coast. I feel trapped and claustrophobic in the midwest (agoraphobia backwards), she feels free.

From a society level... I LOVE small towns. Love them. It's the sense of community. I prefer to live in small towns near a big city (about an hour away by train), and visit the city for special events (theatre, museums, etc.) ((I LIVE in the city, and the vast majority of the time I just don't use the zoos, theatre, museums... because they cost money I don't have. Instead I end up driving out to the country for free schtuff. I'd rather live where it's free and travel to spend)). My sister HATES small towns. She doesn't like the lack of privacy, wants people *out* of her business. She loves the city where you can spend 10 years and never have a neighbor ask your name. She loves having things nearby *just in case* she decides she wants to do something (theatre, museums, etc.). ((Incidentally, I love Rome, and she despises it... Rome is the only big city I've ever been in that acts like a small town)).

And that's not even taking into account things that people find "fun". I have a short list of things I find "fun", like most people. Some I can do anywhere in the world... but most are dependent on the area I live. One of the things that was the *hardest* about deciding to live in Seattle for awhile again, is that I've spent my whole life swimming and doing watersports. The weather here... just doesn't cooperate. It's too durn cold. I used to swim and dive and sail and surf almost every day (the south was a pain in the tucus as well, because of the whole alligator issue). I spent YEARS here cooped up inside LOATHING Seattle (people wonder why starbucks got off here... it's because the paint is bright warm colors and it's a place to *go* during the perpetual drizzle... and it doesn't get you drunk, so you can go somewhere colorful with people in it on grey icky days -most days- and feel slightly more human and not like a lusch)... before I found something that makes Seattle tolerable for me... Heading up into the mountians. Where the sky is blue and the weather is below freezing.

So... I don't think there's a way to "get over" what are essential personality traits. Certain things make us happy at a very *core* level. We can find things that make an area tolerable... but the love that comes from *thriving* in one's environment is something that I think we instinctively crave.

For being such a wide-open desert, Arizona certainly leaves most people feeling pretty cramped with all of these tract homes everywhere. It's certainly not the same as raising your kids in the country....or even a place with a little breathing room.

I spent several years of my childhood in Iowa (the rest right here in AZ) and, though it was only a taste of small-town life, it was enough to make me long for it to this very day. Unfortunately, nearly all of our immediate family is right here in AZ, so unless I managed to transport every last person with us, it's just not something that we're willing to do.

However....I have recently been blessed with the opportunity (in this dreadful housing market) to make an offer on some irrigated acreage out here in Queen Creek and I'll tell you K., it feels like a little slice of the midwest right here in the desert. If you're looking to raise your son in the country, you'd be surprised at how much of that can be found in the valley. I have NO idea what your financial or housing situation is, but maybe as a goal you and your husband could look into someday owning some acreage. Irrigation is nice (and all the grass is very midwestern) but even just some beautiful desert property would be an improvement from tract homes.

You might also consider a move up north around Payson or Flagstaff. Work is hard to find up there, I know, but at least you'd have some variety in the seasons and still be fairly close to the grandparents.

I don't think it's wrong for you to desire more for yourself and your son...but if you look hard enough, you can find an awful lot right where you are.

I know how you feel. I've always wanted to relocate to another city. I don't enjoy the cold and snow anymore. I would really like to go somewhere warm. I've applied to several jobs in warm states, but no responses. My husband is in agreement also. If I find a job, I would move in a heart beat. I'm just not feeling this place also. We travel quite a bit and everytime we are somewhere warm, we just feel as if we need to make a change. My child would probably be overjoyed as long as if there is a beach there...

The reason why you can't move on because that is where your heart is. You may need to gather all of your facts and see if this is something you may be able to consider later in the future, so you will have something to look forward to.

Be Blessed

I love where I live. I'm in NH and we have the best of everything. We have all 4 seasons and we are within an hour to the ocean and mountains.

My husband and I have tossed around moving out to AZ a number of times but we always come back to that - we've lived in NJ all our lives - we love & I mean love the snow - sure we could live up by Flagstaff or wherever but it's not the same as the 4 seasons - the leaves falling, pumpkin picking, cutting down our Christmas trees, ice skating at the lake, all that stuff. Our girls are 7 & 13 so they've known this all of their lives, although they would benefit healthwise (our youngest in a huge way because of her asthma) we just can't seem to get into the mindset of doing it. The other side of things in the extreme heat that we have experienced in the Tucson, Pheonix & Surprise areas - we've only been out in November, May and June and at times those months were enough for us. I guess to me you really can't just get over it, you really have to enjoy where you live. We get our season pass to the state parks Memorial Day weekend and we are there at one of the parks just about every day as soon as school lets out. We are in the lake from the minute the car is in park until the lifeguards kick us out!

I can totally understand where your coming from. I feel the same way! I love where I'm at now but of course the fiance wants to move out to AZ. I've already put my foot down about it because we have no family out there. He says he's got friends but I honestly haven't seen him keep in touch with them. lol.

I think it's important to live somewhere you love. :)

I understand exactly what you are saying! I was born and raised in GR Michigan everybody knows everybody, neighbors are friendly and you can have a conversation with anyone anywhere.. AZ people are SO RUDE! and i think its because most people come from CA and that is just the way they are my husband was born and raised CA and that is what he told me.. In fact after all the things I have told him about my child hood it has made him want to move to MI to give our kids the same kind of life I had....I you are truely unhappy here, then there is no reason why you shouldent sit down and have a serious discussion about it with your hubby, he may feel the same way to an extent...My husband has lived here for 6 years now and he speaks about AZ the same way you do can NOT stand the heat...I have only been here 2 years therefore it hasnt really gotten to me to bad yet... Anyway good luck with everything you deserve it!!!

I do not like Az either. Life is too short to be unhappy...go where you will be happy.

I have mixed feelings about where we live so totally understand what you mean. But my sister has found herself in a very rural area of New Hampshire. I'd likely go crazy but she says someone told her once "blossom where you're planted." It doesn't always help but I do remind myself of this saying sometimes so thought I'd pass it along.

K., I have moved many times so I hear where you are coming from. (In fact, just 3 years ago I was living in Gilbert!) It is difficult leaving behind good friends and making a new place for yourself. But YOU are the one who decides whether to be happy where you are. You can't expect to have things be the same in your new place. In fact, for me the hardest thing to accept is that even if you go back (to Tenn, for example) things will not be the same there as they were when you left.

If you look for ways to love Arizona, you can and you will. Try to find ways to involve yourself in the Arts and in your son's school. Volunteer in his classroom or for the PTSO. That way you will find that YOU are needed here, and you will come to love AZ for the role you play in improving things for others and serving others.

Also, make sure you get away from the valley as often as you can (ie weekends). Arizona has beautiful mountains with the change of seasons only a short trip away from you. Especially in the summer heat, getting away from the heat even just for the weekend can be very refreshing. (And now that it's winter you can go play in the snow, but go home to the green grass! - We got 10 inches last week.) Take advantage of the beauty that's here, and find places to take your son where he can run and play.

Finally, if you feel you can't come to appreciate where you are, you could always consider a move to Arizona's mountains. We looked for a job here for 3 years before we found one, and our patience paid off. Explore different areas of AZ, and maybe you will find somewhere you feel you can love that's not too far from Grandma & Grandpa, yet away from the heat.

I lived in Gilbert for 4 years and then moved to Prescott Valley, AZ. There are pros and cons to both.

We love the seasons up here and the fact that the summers are warm/hot not scortching live in the Phoenix area. We love that there is hiking and sledding within 2-20 mins from us. We love the fact that it is smaller and has less crime than the Phoenix area.

The selection of Doctors is marginal. Don't get me wrong my son has a wonderful peditrician that we love but there aren't all services up here. We still have a few of my sons doctors in the Phoenix area. Also the small hospitals fly a lot of cases to Phoenix as they don't have the capability to deal with much trauma here.

Schools are also an issue. We have a gifted 3 (almost 4 year old) and I know there are better schools for him down in the valley. They just don't have as many programs here for gifted children. He would be better challenged down there. Not to say the schools here are bad but there is just more for him down there.

We definately miss the restraunts in the valley. There is a lot less selection up here. Also we have some friends that we miss but we are only 5 houses from family up here which is nice.

I feel you should sit down with your husband and discuss openly how you are feeling. Listen to him and then discuss moving and each of you come up with a few places you would want to move and write a pros and cons list for each and see how that goes. Maybe he is willing to move and maybe his isn't. Maybe he doesn't know that you are as unhappy as your are. Maybe there is a place you can move that is a compromise for both of you.
Good Luck

We definately miss the restraunts in the valley. There is a lot less selection up here.

I grew up in a really small town (4800) and loved it there! I have since moved closer to DH's work and although I love the friendships I've made here, I HATE it here.
I'm still fairly close, 2hrs away but it's such a different culture here and I just don't like it. There are no good shops, no *nice* towns, it's very backwards here.
It's gotten to the point where we both love this other little town, which is by the lake we love (I'm still close to the lake, growing up I was 10 mins away, I'm still 10 mins away from the water but hate this lake, it's dirty, cloudy, just yuck) so we can still go to the beach, boat. We've made a plan to eventually move there closer to retirement.
Right now, we're putting out house on the market, hoping it sells and moving somewhere closer to where we like but out of this area.

I love where we live.
I wish we'd moved here 10 years sooner, but... it's okay.
We have acreage. We have trees. We have seasons. We drive 20 miles to school. We drive 8 miles to the grocery store. We have 4 wheel drive vehicles because we have to. We have fox and bear in the back yard.
Would I trade it? Heck NO.
Keep in mind that the grass is not always greener.
People say they love the change of seasons - really? The leaves are lovely on a crisp fall day, but Do you like to rake the leaves? Honestly?? The snow flakes gently falling are so lovely, but Do you like 30 inches of snow in the winter? Do you like being stuck in your house for 3 weeks because they can't get to you to plow you out? Cookouts in the summer are great, but Do you like the humidity that is so thick you can swim through it?
You need to remember that there are good things and bad things about any location..
Make the best of what you have. It's all about perspective... you moved to be closer to family. I know a lot of people who'd give up their acreage and their views to have 10 minutes more with a loved one.
LBC

I was born and raised in the Metro Detroit area. I still live here. I don't love it here. Some people say it's great because you have the Great Lakes, the four seasons, great universities, and the auto industry (yeah, it's gone, I know), but I think that there are many other more beautiful places in the U.S. to live in. I would NEVER suggest anyone move to this state--there are better places. Several years ago, I went to Orlando, FL. To this day, I want to go back. Although I was there only a short time, I fell in love with Florida. My hubby and I have tried to move to a more warmer, pleasant state, but no luck in the job search.

Yes, I love where I live, but there is the possibility of moving to snow country, which I have never lived in, and don't really like. but, yes, I would go.

Tough for you, I understand, but would it really be easier living without him because of his situation?

There are good things and bad things about any place.

We moved to Arizona for 6 months and we ended up moving back to Vegas. It rained a lot more there then it ever did in Vegas.

Once we moved back, he had several job offers all over the country. I chose to stay in Vegas and said call me. He worked in Arizona several times, Colorado, Oklahoma, and almost Kansas. I stayed and we visited each other. I didn't leave because I felt these were whims and I really wanted stability. In his travels, I learned I couldn't handle the cold winters in Oklahoma or Colorado.

He finally settled down and decided to stay in Vegas. About 6 months ago, he came to me and said he wanted to join the Army and we would travel. I said see ya. He finally decided against it and let the thought go. I could see his interest was in a retirement 20 years away, because he doesn't have one. It was a choice he made long ago and one that I won't pay for now. I am 15 years away from a full benefits retirement. I am not letting go of that for another whim.

In my view, it all depends. Were you working? Did you let go of something you couldn't get back? Did you sell a house to do so? There are a lot of factors involved in picking up and moving.

I guess it depends on the season. In summer and fall I would definitely say I love where I live but I don't like the winters in Oregon it rains almost every day! Tell your husband how you feel. Find out if he can get a transfer. If he can't just accept that you are there for now (nothing is forever) and embrace the place you are currently in, find things to love about it or you will make yourself miserable.

I lived and loved California for 46 years, and recently moved to the Boise, ID outskirts. High desert. I hate it here. the only saving grace is the snow.
It is dry, flat, and not enough trees. No parks close to me. Just feilds and feilds and canals.. And thousands of mosquitos that keep me locked in all summer.

CA was so beautiful, the smell of moisture in the air helped me feel alive, let me smell the flowers on the breeze, and my skin wasnt so dry. EVERY plant could grow there. It was hilly and treesy and had so many thing to do so close by. I now live in the middle of no where with nothing to do but watch the cows in the fields. There are people here who LOVE Boise! I think it is because they dont know what they are missing. I am in a state of depression since I moved here a year ago and I can't seem to shake it.

Hi, the grass is always greener- especially if you live in AZ-LOL. I grew up in IL an hour south of Chicago; so I know exactly what you mean. We lived in southern IL for 5yrs and did all of shopping in Paducah, KY.
I love watching the rain turn leaves green in front of my eyes-don't miss raking
I love green grass the smell, color, the feel-don't miss the mowing.
Love AZ winter over IL.
Not crazy about the Phoenix heat-DON'T miss the IL humidity.
Not crazy about the dust devils-don't miss hay fever.
Way more shopping options in AZ over my home town IL for those odd things or just choices.
I see my family every couple years, including grama & great grama. My kids barely know their cousins. They haven't seen the newest 2 yet- 2yr old & a 7mon old & the 4yr old once when she was just 6mon.
You made the choice to move for an awesome reason. Now you have to make your list of AZ likes over dislikes. It sounds like you have to force yourself to see the good stuff, you'll probably always miss Tenn. Choosing to like were you are now will change you, that's a lot of negativity to carry all the time.
make Tenn your vacation destination-SEE ROCK CITY : >).
K

I think you have to consider a lot of things when you choose where to live (schools, cost of living, weather, type of people, etc). My husband is military, so we move a lot (we've lived in Louisiana, Oklahoma--twice--, Germany, and Kansas). We always seem to find something we like and don't like about where we live--I think that's human nature. We both grew up in South Florida (Boca Raton) and have NO desire to move back there (bad schools, too many people, outrageous cost of living), but we do miss our parents. We love Kansas, but have no family nearby. Our next move could be NY, VA, or FL and we're really struggling to figure out where we'd be happiest. So, I would try to focus on the positive (good jobs, close to family, cost of living, etc) and hang in there.

We've lived in the Plano/Allen area (Burb of Dallas) since 1989. We moved from Charlotte NC and we loved NC......still do.

However, we've had ample opportunities to leave our area and nothing is worth it to us. Hubby is originally from PA (hates the cold), I am originally from MS (hate the rural area). We met in NC and love it.

We feel we have it all, at least for our family needs. Great location... hope on a plane and be on either coast within a couple hours. 2 good airports, great airlines... we like to travel and having an airport handy is vital to our company because we travel a lot for business as well. We have no family within a plane ticket away but we welcome visitors.

We love our neighborhood. We back up to woods and it is nothing like what you imagine for a city. I have bobcats at my back door regularly, lots of wildlife because we back up to an 85 acre wooded area that will not ever be changed. Our daughter attends one of the best school districts in the nation, she has more than enough things to explore for her education...music, arts, sports, etc.

We like the climate. We don't mind the hot days at all... we hate the cold.

If my husband were situated where I personally did not like it... I would communicate with him...I would not keep things inside and let them build resentments. We work together as a team and if we were not happy in an area, we would work together to find a solution where it would be feasible for our family financially and remain stable.

As someone mentioned...the grass is not always greener on the other side.... Before you make rash decisions.... sit down and understand the why's and why nots of your attitude about your current place now. Figure out why you long to go back.

Come to some conclusions as to WHY you feel the way you do. Don't let your attitude bring the rest of your family down emotionally. Are you secretly resentful of your child and the grandparents?

Look at it as an opportunity to expand your horizons. Make something positive out of it.

Good luck

We lived in northern Arkansas for about 5 years- it's beautiful up there ! Not too cold, not too hot! lots of hiking and lakes and rivers- right in the heart of the Ozarks! Loved it! but we didn't have any family even close to that area- the closest were a 12 hr drive and the airport(for those who preferred to fly) was 4 hours away!
So when the opportunity came up, we moved back down to Texas. I don't love it here- but we are a lot closer to family(3 hrs and an airport less than 30 mins.) It is really nice being closer to family, but I do miss Arkansas. I don't know if I would move back to Arkansas- but I am up for another move to somewhere with a little more green and hills- even east or central Texas would be nice. But for now- this is where we are at and we are making the best of it.
I think the thing to focus on is to find out more about the area you are in and go explore with your family. And since you moved to be closer to your family- make sure you are taking advantage of that- my sister lives 45 mins away from my parents, but they don't see each other very often because they don't have the "time". Make the time- At least once a month or even once a week to go spend an hour or two with your family.
You might decide that Arizona isn't for you and move back to Tennessee(beautiful! We drove through there this summer and loved it!) but would you regret not spending the time exploring your home where you are at now and spending more time with your family?
The Superstition mountains are amazing to hike through, and then you have tons of forests up north that are just gorgeous!
Enjoy where you are at for now, and if you really need to move again, you will feel more at peace with it!
Good luck!
~C.

I know what you mean to a certain extent. I've actually always lived in Arizona and so has my fiance, however we have never really liked it here. We cannot stand the heat, although winters here are wonderful; we would love to have frequent rain, summers where we can do outdoor things without dying of heat, more activities to do outside, different colors of leaves, four seasons, nicer people, more attractive landscaping, more attractive neighborhoods, etc. I personally love Oregon, I always have, and am hoping we will make the move there one day. My only hang up is that our parents live here as well as some other family and our friends are here. However, I do have some extended family in Oregon that I am close to, so we wouldn't be completely without family. It's a hard decision. I suppose you have to decide what will make you happiest. While I would like to be close to our parents, we despise the heat here and you're right, people are not all that friendly for the most part. We both think most neighborhoods are monotonous and plain compared to those of other states. Same with our desert landscaping, ugh! There are many things I strongly dislike about Arizona, and I think we're ready to leave.

Anyway, try making a list of positives and negatives of each, and decide what will truly bring your family the most happiness. While it's nice to live close to parents, they are also just a drive or flight away if you choose to move. Like others have mentioned, maybe try and find a place closer to AZ than TN is that still has some qualities that you want. Try researching suburb towns in Colorado, Oregon, Washington, Utah, etc. Loveland is a nice little town outside of Fort Collins in Colorado that I know of. I'm not all that familiar with Colorado otherwise. Good luck to you!

I love living in Pa. We get the four seasons. Just when you are sick of the cold winter, the beautiful spring comes. Then when you are tired of sweating in the summer, fall comes with its beautiful leaves. We are close enough to get to the jersey beaches (or de, md beaches) We are not too far from the pocono mountains either. I would miss the changing of seasons. I grew up here, i don't know anything else. I don't think i would be happy in a state that was much different. Life is too short to live unhappy. I am fortunate that this is all my husband knows too. I hope you can find your happy place :)

I like where I live. I live in Sugar Land, TX.