I am raising my grandchildren with no help from the other grandmother. My daughter gets upset because I won't go to her son's other grandmother's house and get some things she claims she has, yet this grandmother is barely in his life. Now I am asking am I wrong for not willing to do this? I am asking this because I had a big blow out with my daughter about this matter.
Right now I haven't gone to the other grandmother's house, nor has she tried to contact me. I appreciate all the mothers for their understanding and for advice on my dilema. I will contiue to ask for help when needed. Thank you all for reading and responding to my request.
I would call the other grandmother and invite her to your house. This way it shows your daughter your making an effort. If she shows then great...if not it proves your point. I don't think that you should have to go out of your way to make sure he sees them if they don't make the effort either, but at least throw the option out there and see what she does with it.
Ms. R.:
Congratulations on taking on the responsibility to raise your grandkids. You do not have a responsibility to go to anyone to get gifts for your grandkids. If possible your daughter or the child's father should get those items from the other grandmother and take the kids to visit them.
If she is not available to do that then you might consider doing it but you don't have to....it's all up to you. If those items are going to assist the child / you then why not get them. Maybe the other grandmother is ready to help you...don't block the blessings but don't stress yourself.
Well to me it would depend on the circumstances. Is there a reason the other grandmother can't come to you? Is it very inconvenient to go to the other grandmothers home to pick up whatever it is? If you are being asked to go out of your way to accommodate someone who really doesn't give a darn, then I can 100% understand your hesitance to do it. But, if it's not a difficult task, I say you suck it up... be the bigger person and do it. By going will it harm your grand child in any way? Most likely it may make her feel a litter better to see her grandmother for a little while. But by not going you're just causing more unnecessary tension and animosity between the families.
I'm in a similar situation with my in-laws, so I know where you're coming from. But sometimes for the sake of the child we just have to suck it up, put on a fake smile and deal w/these people.
how old is your daughter and where is she that she wont go and get the stuff herself. It sounds like you're fine and your daughter is being selfish unless you left something out of your letter.
i think that if you are doing all the work and she is not helping then it is her responsiblity to come to you.you are takeing care of the child with out her then why do you need her help now.
I don't see what all the fuss is about. The other grandmother can bring what she has for the child or your daughter could go pick it up.
i agree with you! its not your responsible to get her stuff. she should be grown up enough to get her own stuff besides your taking care of her child!! if the other grandmother doesnt call you to see the children then it isnt your responsible either. you take care of yourself & those children first
Hi R. and congratulations on being such a wonderful Grandmother and Mom! I just wanted to say that I think your response is normal and totally understandable. The only thing about it is that it does no one any good and only causes friction between you and your own child and grandchildren. Why let another Grandmother who doesn't do as good a job as you (or even seem to care) get in the way of the loving relationships you obviously share with your Grandkids and Daughter. I say be the bigger person and put a smile on because it's this other woman who is really losing out no matter how you look at it.
Hello R.,
I agree, if your daughter want her children to get those things from the other grandmother so bad, she should go get them. I am still trying to figure out the big blow out! Your daughter should be blowing out the babies daddy.
R. i commend you for helping to raise your grandchildren,
I think the main issue is that your daughter is trying to control you, like Dr Phil always says you teach people how to treat you.
Let your daughter do her own dirty work. She is trying to use you as a pawn. tell her if she doesnt want to go there herself maybe she could send a letter requesting the items if they are that important to her.
You already have your hands full, taking care of yourself is the most important job you have right now because you are very much needed by those little buggers you are raising,so take care of you and dont allow yourself to be bullied by your daughter or anyone else that is stress you just dont need.
Hope that helps.
Wishing you joy and peace, MB
