Does SAHM Mean I Do Everything?

Besides make money...pretty much, unless you have a sweetheart of a husband who is willing to pitch in a little.

Nope. It is a job just like a job outside of the home. You need time off and someone to share the household chores. Although, I know many women that that is their expectation from their husband. I always find it interesting that the husband gets the weekend off and holidays off, but the woman is expected to be 'on' ALL of the time. It caused a good friend to become an alcoholic and then a divorce and the loss of her children. Some men have a warped sense of 'duty' from their wife since they provide all of the money and the wife is a SAHM. I am lucky, my husband doesn't share that view.

You don't have to, you have to work out a routine, or kind of dictate "chores". I work from home, watch out almost 3 yr old and go to school and sometimes I still feel like if i don't take care of ALL of the house work it doesn't get done. But i expect my partner to help out around the house even though he works full time outside of the house. He takes out the garbages, sweeps the kitchen and helps out with loading the dishwasher (not scrubbing pots though..grr). Besides that I really have to pester him to help :( But if I do pester, he usually does whatever needs to be done... But yeah, I do laundry, most of dishes, vacuum, and all deep cleaning!

Yes, you should do everything pertaining to the inside of the house...BUT, your DH should not be rudely adding to the work. He should be thoughtful and not leave his dirty clothes about, he should rinse his dishes and put them in the dishwasher, hang his clothes, put his things away, etc.

Put simply, your job as SAHM is to be a mother and Executive of Home Keeping....but it's NOT to mother your husband.

I hope that helps or adds something to the answers you already have.

I do take care of the house, groceries, bills, budget, laundry, kids, and 1/2 the yard. He works hard and brings home money that BUYS our house, groceries, pays the bills, buys detergent (and even a new dryer yay) clothes the kids (and ME!) and the money that allows us a few extras like a zoo membership. I figure he is actively working 10-12 hours a day I should be too. I think with a 5 and 3 y/o you should be free to do it "all"- except actual work. I am so thankful to do it "all". Taking care of your own children isn't a job it's a privledge. My husband does zero house chores, or kid chores and I am fine with it.

Some tips-
teach the kids to make their beds, and make your own. As soon as my dh leaves I make our bed. Just makes the house feel cleaner. Wanna play with the kids while making the bed? Have them lie down as you fluff the blanket over them, mine stilll love this, lol.

While I cook I have a sink of soapy water, so I can wash all prep dishes and surfaces as I go. My 3 y/o loves to do the dishes. I give him a large container of soapy water and have him wash plastic items he thinks it's a blast.

I wipe down my bathrooms everyday, so when I cean them they aren't that dirty. I keep a spray bottle of lysol and rags under the sink, but alternately you could use lysol wipes.

I also do a load of laundry everyday. I NEED to do two but if I wash dry, and fold one a day it doesn't take that long and I don't get so terribly behind I become overwhelmed. I also taught my 9 y/o to do it. Your's are a little young but your 3 y/o can sort socks and your 5 y/o can fold towels.

I think that kids need to be a part of a functioning family and that means that we aren't doing crafts or going to the park or playplace all day, but I really get to enjoy them when we do chores together, and when everyone hepls there is more time for fun, and less resentment and more respect all around..

Oh my gosh, yes it does. At least at our house. I am the mom, the cook, the maid, the landscaper, the plumber, the tutor/teacher, the driver, the pest control gal, etc. That's okay though....my hubby makes great money and he can only do that by being at work and giving 100% there, so if that means I take care of everything on this end, I'm all in. Whatever it takes to be a SAHM to my kids!

When I saw the title of your post, the answer that popped in to me head was: "Yes".

Sorry.

It sucks!

Okay, now that I have gotten that out of my system, on to attempting to help you:
My kids are 8, 6 and 3. They do a lot of chores. It helps A LOT. I usually write down 3-5 jobs for them to complete when they get home from school. For instance: empty garbages, take trash to dumpster, bring dumpsters in from the road on trash day, put away clean dishes, wipe counters, mop floor, scrub coffee tables, wipe bathroom counter, put away clean clothing, clean windows, pick up toys.... these are all things that the 2 older ones are capable of doing. So while I do take care of the big jobs and the lion's share of the cleaning (toilets, showers, cleaning the fridge,vacuuming etc) they really are quite helpful. I remind them all the time that we are a team and that we need to work together. That everyone in the family helps keep the house running. I think that teaching them these skills will help a lot as they grow older and leave the house eventually. The kids probably do about 30-45 min worth of chores per day.
My husband does not do very much cleaning, but he IS in charge of the lawn care and the bills. These items take up quite a bit of time on their own, and I really do not want to do them! It is helpful for me, when I am feeling like everything is on my shoulders, to remember the jobs that my husband DOES do.
Lastly, and I had a convo with my husband about this just last week, as I was feeling put out that I felt I had to do everything. When you need help, ask your husband. My husband said, "Why don't you just ask for help?" I told him that when I finally do break down and ask for help, that I feel he "punishes" me. Like he will act really put out and not talk to me for the rest of the night, but he will grudgingly do the job. Or he will argue with me about how dumb the job is. Anyway, he agreed he would try not to do that and I agreed I would just ask when I needed help rather than stewing about it. This was just a week ago, so I can't say that the problem is solved, but we will see!

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you get to stay at home and you have to do everything....sometimes that's the way it works.
I'm a single mother. I work full time AND I do everything that has to be done at home and with my son.
It is what it is.
Before my divorce, I stayed home and I took care of the house and kids. I was totally in my element and happy about it. My husband made enough money that I didn't have to work so I didn't see my responsibilities as a "job".
I was a career woman before I got married and I knew full well the difference between having to clock in and take care of other people's business and accounts and keep them on track and pay their bills and basically run their lives for them.
Staying at home with my kids did not seem like a job to me.
My husband left every day and brought in the money and I maintained the household.

I have a niece that thinks that taking care of the kids is her ONLY job. And, the minute her husband gets home after working two jobs, she considers herself "off the clock". She makes him cook, do the dishes, do the laundry, give the kids baths, take the garbage out, pay the bills, do the grocery shopping half the time.
He works 70 hours a week, at least, because she has expensive taste and won't work even though she's well educated. She doesn't lift a finger when he's home because it's his "turn".
I'm sorry. I love her, but I don't have a lot of respect for her. She believes that engaging with her children is her only job and she apparently can't do that and vacuum a floor throughout the course of a day. Or load the dishwasher. She leaves everything to do when he gets home. I think it's wrong.

Just my opinion.

I know a couple that both work and the husband does the cooking and shopping. He's more economical and a good cook. She is not. They have a system. It works for them. Like I said, they both work, so it's a matter of working together with their schedules to make things happen. He cooks and shops, she cleans and does the laundry and keeps up with the kids homework, etc. He does the outside work. She does the inside.
When I was a stay at home mom, I did all the lawn mowing, etc. I enjoyed it. I like working in the yard. I took care of the kids, sewed, did crafts, painted, decorated.
99% of that went out the window when I had to financially support myself on top of all the rest.
I'm just saying that you won't appreciate just doing everything at home until you have to be responsible for that AND working full time.
I'm not saying stay at home moms don't work, but there is a huge difference when it comes to having to get up, get showered and dressed, get kids off to daycare, clock in, and not be able to even take a breather until you clock back out because you are on someone else's time.
And, having a place to live depends on it.
I'm sure there are ways your husband can help you out but you have to realize that nothing is ever really 50/50 and totally fair.
You might be thinking in terms of having to take care of the home 100% when he might be thinking he is the one with the pressure of providing 100% financially.
You both have a side.
You should be willing to help make his part easier on him and vice versa.
It takes a team effort.

Best wishes.

My answer is yes and no.

Our kids are 13, 10 and 8 (almost 9). The kids have their chores and help out when asked. Mainly stuff like making sure their laundry is put away, rooms picked up. They also empty the dishwasher, clean toilets and sweep floors. They also feed the 3 cats and 3 anoles.

Me: All laundry except my husband's (he does his own). I maintain/clean all rooms of the house (upstairs and down 1500 sq. feet). I cook. I volunteer in the kid's schools and run them around to their various activities. I also have a part time job. I feed/maintain the birds (two cockatiels) and keep their cage clean. I am the errand person. I also take the kids to their doctor/dentist appointments although I will ask my husband to do this if it is on a Saturday and I have other things to do. In the Spring/Summer, I maintain our flower beds and do all the planting. The kids do like to help water and pick out plants.

Husband: He does the grocery shopping (I do the list). He pays the bills. Takes out/handles all garbage, cleans the litter boxes, mows the lawn, and handles any and all repairs. He puts gas in the cars and keeps up their maintenance schedules. He cooks every Sunday. He also helps the kids with their homework and is in charge of any and all Science Fair Projects.

He is also in charge of our 3 fish tanks (two salt water and one fresh). I don't consider those "chores" because fish are his hobby.

Thank you for asking about this! I know I've forgotten some things. But whenever I do feel "put out" and taken advantage of, I do go through my husband's list and realize that he does pull his weight around here. If I need his help, I do ask him. He asks me for help too. We keep the lines of communication open, but are pretty comfortable in our routines.

I am a SAHM, I try and keep the house clean, but when he is home he helps. I always clean the kitchen, he usually cooks. Laundry is about 50/50. He always does the lawn and most of the grocery shopping (that only makes sense because he does the cooking). I usually handle bathtimes, brushing teeth, putting her medication on, things of that nature. We alternate reading bedtime stories and guard duty (being that she like to come out of her room alot so one of us usually stays out in the living room and tells her to get back to bed--see? guard duty) I usually handle all of her appointments, I handle all of our finances. He feeds the dogs because they seem to think that whenever he gets home it's time to eat, regardless if I have already feed them or not. Oh and I don't think he has cleaned a toilet in 8 years, or a tub. Usually the heavy cleaning is all me.

LOL Specific enough?

If it doesn't get done then it doesn't get done. Let him see if you need help. There are only so many hours in the day. If he thinks you can do it all then he expects you to be able to do it all.

I am a SAHM of four with the oldest being almost ten and the youngest being three. Although this doesn't always go perfectly, ideally, our set up is like this:

Anything relating to the inside of the house or to the physical welfare of our children is either my responsibility to do or my responsibility to delegate. This means that if I don't want to do something or if I'm not able to do something, I have to give that job to one of the kids or to my husband, who is a pretty good sport about doing things, although he doesn't always get to them as quickly as I'd like him to.

My husband's responsibilities include taking care of the lawn, the outside of the house (other than cleaning windows), vehicle maintenance, the workshop, etc.. In addition to those things he also works full time, of course.

This doesn't mean that I never cut the grass or take the car in for an oil change, just as it doesn't mean that he never does dishes or laundry. But I want to stress the delegation part here. Someone has to be making the calls, and it makes sense for me to make the calls about the house and kids when I am spending the majority of my time here with them. If that makes sense. The plus side of this arrangement is that my husband gives me free reign to spend my time as I need to (he rarely walks in and says, "What in the world have you done all day?"), trusts me to spend our income wisely (even though he may not have spent money on things like curtains or decorations, had he been in charge of that part of our budget), and in general respects my ability to manage our home and family, which is a huge compliment.

Hello,
No. It does NOT mean that you do everything! That would be crazy, and if you think about it you will see why. Do you get to clock in and out of work? Do you have days off? When is your lunch break and other breaks during the day? Do you or have you gotten up in the middle of the night to deal with a sick or scared child? All of these things make your job very diffucult, and obviously mean that YOU are entitled to have some quality time for yourself too. I stay home with our children. Yes, OUR children. We have 4 of them. The oldest are now out of the house, one is 21, and the other is 18 and just started college this year. However, my job as a Mom is not done simply because they no longer live here. I cannot tell you how many times I get a call or text message that my college attending daughter needs me to call her school for something, or needs me to look for something. She may need a package sent to her. Our oldest still comes by almost daily and has needs as well. I feel very useful to them both still, and we are very close. My husband's connection to our oldest 2 daughters is wonderful. He is the one they call with car issues, etc., but I do believe that in some way it's just another way to connect with Dad. Our youngest 2 kids, age 8 and 10, have loads of needs. The first one is that together, we made the decision that they would do virtual school this year. That means that they are home, with me, everyday, 24/7. We love doing this, and for our specific reasons and situation, it has been a godsend. My husband realizes that my doing this does cut into my other time during the day to get housework and various stuff done. When he comes home from work, he will cook dinner if I am not ready to do so. (or if I am simply too drained mentally) If I haven't had time to get to the dishes, he will load or unload the dishwasher. HE takes the trash to the garage MOST days, and is the one to go to the dump or put it out for pick up when it's time. I am sorry to say that yes, my hubby IS the one who does most of the yardwork, but that is because I am disabled, so it would be very difficult for me. I do however, help out with keeping our pool chemicals stocked and the pool clean. (he does the heavy stuff with that too though) We BOTH vaccum, and pick up after ourselves, and our children have been taught from very young to pick up after themselves. I have always said that I am willing to pick up their things for them. (I will pick them up ONCE, and they go into a big trash bag.) My kids don't EVER want me to pick up for them. :) Both the hubby and I do laundry, me during the week when I can fit it in, and he on the weekends. I always have to fold it and put it away though. (hubby is not interested in folding laundry. LOL!) The youngest 2 kids and I do the other things like dusting, cleaning windows, etc. during the week. If my husband sees something that is dusty or needs to be cleaned, he just does it. The kitchen floor and baths are swept by me, however my husband is the one who mops them all. He does it on the weekends, usually when I am not here. I am very sensative to chemicals, and he is a bleach kind of guy. LOL! This is lso why my husband is the one who does the "heavy" cleaning of our bathrooms every couple of weeks. I clean them the rest of the time, I just don't use straight bleach. I prefer other cleaners like scrubbing bubbles. I do 90% of the grocery shopping, but only because I make the lists, figure out the meals, and what coupons I am using. If we need some items in between big shopping trips, he usually goes. I feel like we have a pretty good thing as far as working as a team. It's nothing that was ever set down in front of us, so this was weird to type out. We just basically do whatever needs to be done, when we have time and whoever is the one to see it needs to be done. Other than the grocery shopping and yardwork, most of the "work" is up for grabs by whoever is around. Oh, and I am the one who balances the checkbook and pays all of the bills. It's easier if one person does that chore so you know nothing is getting missed. I have tried in the past to do this task with him, together, but he has no interest in doing it and prefers me to handle it all. He knows the system though, so I am confident that if I was gone tomorrow he could figure it out and would do just fine that way. (all of our income is direct deposit, so there is little or no going to the bank)
One other thing I wanted to mention. As far as the kids go, well my husband has always been very good sharing that job as well. If I need some "me time" when he gets home from work, then he will take over whatever I was doing with them (even if it's still school work), and I will go close myself in the bedroom with a book or do whatever I need to do. Sometimes I go for a car ride and blast the music, just to kind of "escape" for a little while. We always make sure the kids go to bed at a reasonable time, so that we can BOTH relax and have some time without them , plus it gives us our alone time. We don't really go out much as far as having a girls night or a guys night, but that is by our choice, not because we don't want the other to go. When we do go out, it's almost always together. WE actually ENJOY spending time together. We do have people over occasionally, and socalize in that way as well. I like to chat with friends on the phone, or on the computer. The hubby is a new fan of skype. We have been married for almost 22 years, and together for almost 25 years, so this system is obviously working for us. I will admit that many, many years ago, when we first had our children, (the oldest 2), and we were much younger, we did things a bit differently. My hubby had the idea that if I was home all day, I should basically do all of the household chores and cooking, etc. It wasn't until a couple years after we had our kids and he got sick and was forced to stay home for a few days in a row that he got a real picture of what my days were like. I did have times during the day when I didn't do much and could relax, however, I did not have any times during the day when I was not a Mom, and as all Moms know, even getting time to shower or use the bathroom without being interrupted can at times be a miracle. It was then that my husband discovered a whole new respect for what a stay at home Mom does, and really began to get more involved in the daily routine of things. Also, he had a "wake up call" when one of our kids got hurt, (just a minor injury, nothing big), and he wanted to console her, however she wanted me and me alone. It broke his heart that she wouldn't let him be the one to hold her, clean her scrapes, and kiss her little knee. He made it the most important job he had to make sure he made some type of daily connection with each of his kids, and spent some time with them all individually as well as together. It was his choice, not me pushing him. His doing this obviously made their relationships MUCH stronger, but also gave me some extra time. WHen Mom isn't the only one who can help you or fix a boo boo, well it just makes your "free time" go up and up!
Ok, one last thing and I promise I will be done. I ALWAYS give my husband some time when he gets home from work to unwind and relax before trying to get him involved in whatever is going on at home. Sometimes he takes the time, and other times he doesn't and jumps right in. It really depends on how HIS day has been. If he had a longer commute home, and could relax and listen to the radio on his way home, he may already feel relaxed and ready to get into "home and kids mode". If he had a stressful day and is still all wound up, he needs a few minutes to relax and change gears. I would want the same thing, and have had it in the past. I used to run a preschool (at our house) and after the kids would all go home at the end of the day, I looked forward to my cup of tea and watching a half hour of TV uninterrupted. It was my "down time" prior to changing gears and starting my eveniing routine of homework, dinner, and baths/ bedtime. If I skipped that cup of tea and tv time, well I felt very stressed and the house seemed chaotic. I hope this helps, and I hope that you can figure out a system that works for you and your husband. Marrige is about teamwork, and parenting is a FULL TIME job. It is one of the worst paying jobs, but one of the most rewarding. Once you both find your rythym, you will find that your job is really more of a gift. Good luck!

My husband works full time, often has to stay late, and also goes to the library 1-2 night per week to study for his NCARB exams. Basically, I am a single parent. I do everything to run the household, shuttle the kids to their doctor/dentist appts, sports, help with homework and do dinner/baths/bed on my own most of the time. It is very challenging and stressful. I take it one day, sometimes one hour at a time. I have my 9 yr old help with the 2 yr old while I'm making dinner or while I'm giving the 5 yr old his bath and putting him to bed. It's best to have a schedule and a plan for each day. I have certain days of the week that I do laundry, on other days I vacuum and dust. I make a to-do list and try to accomplish most of the items on it every day. I try to involve my kids with having them make their beds, help fold laundry and put it away, help unload the dishwasher. It teaches them responsibility, it helps me a little, and it keeps them from parking their butts in front on the TV all day.

No, it shouldn't mean that you do everything. It should mean that you are home caring for the children and the general daily chores of the household, bigger things as you get to them. If there's still stuff that needs to be done after working hours, they need to be split. You may need to point out to your husband that if his workweek is 40 or 45 hours, yours should not be 100.

I am a SAHM. I do everything that has to do with the children - doc's appointments, homework, dentist, school meetings, "during the day" volunteering, and after school activities. I do all the laundry and house cleaning. My husband does the cooking and the grocery shopping. I do the baking and cooking for company. I do all the other household shopping. I do the Costco runs - with a list generated together. Mr. does the lawn and I do the gutter cleaning. I deal with the pool. He does the heavy lifting and takes care of all of the outdoor chores that require a noisy tool or machine. :-)
If the children are involved in an activity after school, Mr will be at all of the performances or competitions and he participates as a volunteer. We try to do most everything the children are involved in as a family.
We divide an conquer when necessary. For example: Homecoming weekend for the high school is the same weekend as parents' weekend at college. Mr is going to the college on Friday and will stay until mid-day Saturday. I will stay home and do the football game and parade with our daughter. On Saturday, Mr will come home and we will drop off our daughter at the dance together. Then on Sunday, the three of us will go back to college for church and other family type activities.
This way, everyone gets to participate in some of all of the activities. :-)
Family is most important.
You do what you have to do and if something doesn't get done, so be it.
LBC

If thats the case then when do you get 'off' work? I understand that most of the household chores should be your job because your husband is off working all day BUT.... when it comes to making dinner if you were both working out of the home would that automatically be your job - I dont think so. What about the kids baths? I think you should work out a schedule that works for both of you that is based on timing as it would be if you worked out the home as well
Thats what we do anyway
Good Luck

We share a lot of activities. I will cook and clean the majority of the time. Since I am home, I take care of our daughters the majority of the time. Dad does bath time before bed. He takes care of the car maintenance and repairs. He changes the cat litter. I usually take the dogs out. We both take the trash out. I handle the recyclables. I do the laundry. I do the shopping. He does the bills (but they are all automatically deducted so it isn't like he really does anything). We both read to the children. We share home improvement projects....each doing what we want or what we do best. I paint...he puts down flooring...I tear off the shingles...he puts on the new ones. Neither one of us wants to do the dishes so we have a dishwasher. He plays with the kids when he gets home from work so I can have some "me" time which is when I exercise if I haven't done that during nap time or catch up on chores that I can't do until I am kid-free. I feel no guilt whatsoever when I tell my husband I'm off duty. You do it. He doesn't have a problem with it either.

Depends on your version of "everything". I work from home, so I do that, I run around with our 3 yr old, I do some of the dishes and laundry (we have a teenager at home who is also supposed to help with some of the chores). I am typically the one who does the appointments, the school events/pick ups, etc. I do 1/2 the shopping, but most of the time we go together on Saturdays. DH takes care of most of the trash, the yard, some of the laundry and dishes and 90% of the cooking (his choice). We both take out the compost. I feed the cats in exchange for not having to do the litter. I try to get DD to pick up her clothes and toys but that always involves me to some extent. Quite frankly we decided to keep our 2x a month house cleaner because 1. we like her and 2. I am not a good cleaner. Not in the full house scrub kind of way. It's our compromise for me working PT.

yep! Cleaning , cooking and taking care of the house. I work out of the house and my kids go to a moms day out full days on tuesday and thrusday. My husband pays the bills and I give him cash monthy to help with that. I am a terrible cook so he mostly makes our meals( i eat low carbs which is not exactly healthy for the kids) But I ..well heat up the kids meals. I do laundary. There are some nights where I am done and really need a break. I try to wait until my youngest is in bed but some days its for my own hot temper that I just need about twenty mins alone. I try to clean durring nap times and take care of things while the kids are out of my hair. I also keep a schedule. It seems to help a lot!

I am a SAHM also :) I have a 4 yr old, 20 month old and I am 33 wks pregs with baby #3. It is a ton of work all around for sure!!
Here is our breakdown:
What I do:
Buy our groceries weekly and handle all household spending like birthday gifts, hair cuts, eating out, etc.; clean the whole house over the course of two weeks, do our laundry weekly and change all the sheets, make all our meals and clean up, deal with kids dr appts and check ups, take care of the kids during the week.
What he does:
Works for the $$ of course, pays all the bills like lights, phone etc; sees to the lawn, bathes the kids, puts them to bed usually every other day, takes out the trash, fixes whatever stuff breaks, calls the people/companies we have to harass about bad billing etc, does whatever muscle stuff I need and in general whatever I ask him to do :D
What we both do:
Play with our kids everyday, make time for each other every day, try to eat dinner together as a family daily, tag each other in and out for down time like I'll go grab a shower while he is with the kids or he will go out back and do some martial arts while I hold down the fort etc.
That is basically it. On the weekends we both chill alot. I do easy food, we usually eat out once and often he will just heat something up from the week so I don't have to cook. I don't want to spend my weekend working and neither does he! So if we have nuggets and corn, who cares?? Like tomorrow I am making french bread pizza for lunch after church which is easy and he might reheat some for dinner or just have a sandwich etc. All week long I try to make nice dinners so on the weekend I want to relax in that area. Mainly we try to really help each other, I try to help him by getting him breakfast during the week and making his lunch so he can think about the clients he needs to meet that day and just focus on how to work hard for us. He helps me by bathing the kids at the end of the day bc he knows after dinner I am absolutely wiped out. He doesn't complain if the house is a mess sometimes but I try really hard to keep his clothes clean and ready so he doesn't have to worry about it when he needs to get ready for an important meeting etc. That is the key, I think if everyone is trying to take care of each other, then it works well. If one isn't aware of how hard the other works, and either can be guilty of this, then I think things can break down.
Hope that helps and that you guys find ways to work together and support each other in all the crazy work that comes with raising a family!!! It is a lot for sure!! Take care :D

My husband......
works full time plus another 15 hours in side work.
Cleans his own room and does his own laundry. (we sleep in separate rooms since he snores like a bear)
Helps do yard work.

I......
Do the dishes
Make the meals
Grocery shop
Help do yard work (which I hate)
Laundry
Clean (bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping)
Take care of my car (tires changed/rotated, oil changes, cleaning, washing)
Pay the bills with the money he gives me
Take kids to school, bus, soccer, and anywhere else we need to go.
Responsible for any doctors or dentist aptmnts (which means I take 3 kids to all of those)

My kids are in charge of their own room, take out the recycle and trash, and help pick up when I ask them to.

Yup, I do the bulk of the house work. But I am home, he is not.
L.

I deal with everything inside the house (including everything pertaining to kids, schedules, etc). He deals with everything outside. By "deal with", I mean I'm in charge of seeing that stuff gets done. If it means I order out dinner, then so be it. If it means I ask my husband to unload the dishwasher or make sure the kids are in bed at their bedtime...well, it's getting done isn't it? THAT'S what I'm in charge of. Sometimes it means I'm physically doing everything and other times it means I hire a cleaner to clean my house. Same with my husband - sometimes he's outside cleaning out the gutters or raking the leaves himself, and other times, there's a hired crew out there doing that. But it's getting done, so we're doing our jobs.

My husband works full time and still helps me so much around here and I still feel like I do everything.

I want to complain but seriously, I can't. If your husband works full time, comes home and plops his butt on the sofa and you are still going, not fair. If your husband, in my view, doesn't get up with you to help with the kids/house before he heads out to work, he needs retraining. Lucky for me, I trained mine before we had kids.

But again, it still feels like I do everything. So what I feel and reality are two different things. I had a migraine the other day and my husband helped me tons that day, including feeding and getting both kids off to school by himself (with just the bear minimum of whining-LOL) but "my chores" didn't get done so the following day I basically had 2x the amount of work.

You said be specific: My husband does the chores I have delegated to him in the amount of time he has. Since he is gone all day, he will typically help them bath, brush and read to the children and put them to bed--not as easy as it sounds. Then he helps usually with chores that I dislike!

It's all in the training. :-)

Just remember....men aren't wired like women. They don't walk in the door and think...I need to switch that laundry, or empty the dishwasher etc. It made my life a lot easier when I realized the only way he is going to help is if I ask him. I admit, I don't like to ask him because he's been working all day. But, just because I am not pulling in a big paycheck doesn't mean that I am not working. I hardly ever sit down...just to eat and look at my computer once in a while. Make sure you communicate with him about it before you build up resentment. I hate to say "I just can't handle it all"...but sometimes you just have to admit that we aren't the "Superwoman" that we want to be. I am not saying my husband does 50%...but he will help if I ask him to and doesn't seem to mind. AND...it would be so much better if I didn't have to ask, but he will never do it if I don't! I know how frustrating it is....but talk to him and be honest about it.

I do mostly everything. Hubby does the repairs, dump, and outside chores.

Yes, I do everything...except mow the lawn, take out the trash, and sort the recycling. :) Enlist your children to help during the day, and just make it work. I do dishes while they are eating a meal so I am still right there with them (but I eat much faster, so...), I fold laundry while we're playing in the living room, I dust at the same time, etc...

Im a full time working mom and I do everything, i cook, clean, get the kids to their sports, help with homework and get them to bed. Daily. No i am not a single mother either. You have to nail down a routine and realize that you dont fully sit down until the kids are in bed, and then even then its hit or miss. Here is how I handle it. I wake them up, have them get dressed, feed them get my son off to school. go to work pick up kids from sitter. start cooking dinner while they have their playoutside time with friends until dinner is ready. Usually following is a sport acitivty. We get home and it is homework, help pick up toys/clean up their mess, shower every other night, snuggle for about 30 minutes and then its off to bed. I do walmart every Friday and will deep clean on Saturday while the kids are usually outside playing then on sunday we have down time to have the entire day to enjoy eachother. My kids are 6 and 4.

It is extremely hard and tiring and I have had several melt downs, freak outs and just "why" days.

Really, SAHMs don't do everything, but being a SAHM, WAHM & a single mom like me, is definitely hard.

Having a nanny or housekeeper helps a lot, and my little sister is kinda like a father-figure/nanny to me & my daughter.

When I first started to stay at home after my first daughter was born, I tried to do it all. It turns out, that I can't do it all. There are some things I refuse to do; lawn care, take out the trash. There are somethings that I don't have the skillset to do; home maintenance and repair. And somethings that I simply can't find time to do; laundry for my husband and myself, keep master bed/bath clean. I have three girls ages 5, 4 and 2. And I babysit my 1 year old niece 4 days a week. I have learned to do the best I can in the 24 hours I have available to me, and what doesn't get done can be done tomorrow. Also, I have an amazing husband who pitches in and takes care of the things I can't/won't do without complaining. ;)

There is a difference between SAHM and house wife. I stress this to my hubby. I am our son's mom not his. If he needs something washed and I am not doing laundry that day he can wash it if he can't remember to tell me that he needs soap or deordarant before I go to the store he can pick it up himself. I do all the cooking (mostly because I have seen him cook and it is scary!) I clean the house but I don't clean up after him. Meaning I will dust and vacum, ect. But I am not picking up his clothes, or cleaning up a mess that he left because I am not his mom. He does the dishes so that I don't have to do all the chores, and he helps take care of our son (of course he doens't consider this a chore) I like doing things for my husband (like cooking) but I stay at home for our son not for him.

I keep the house picked up, my 10yr old daughter does the dishes, and my hubby does the laundry. I hate laundry so he has taken that part over for me! Love the fact that I do not have to laundry for five people! Once a week is deep clean day and I dust, sweep/mop the floors, and scrub the bathroom.

SAHM could mean so many different things, some SAHM moms with very small children and don't have any additional help, possibly traveling husband and no familly close by - that's exusting, because they never get a break. I my opinion that's harder then working. If your husband's schedule is not as demanding, things might be bit easier, because your husband is home in the evenings and weekends.

In terms of responsibilities, if it's ever too much it's best to hire a housekeeper. Enjoy your quality time with your children, they grow up to quick.

My husband helps with kitchen cleaning after dinner and sometimes cooking dinner. He helps with laundry at times. He tries to help pick up stuff around here but he doesn't notice the mess much of the time. He takes out the garbage. We tag team when he is home and we both pretty much split doing things. He will vaccume the stairs if I ask him. He will bathe our daughter some days or he will make sure our 7 yr old son takes his shower. He will put our son to bed while I put our daughter to bed. When he is at work I try to get most things done though (although that is impossible some days!). I do most of the house stuff but yes he helps when he is home. He has a much higher tolerance for mess though.

I have always managed everything that has to do with the kids and house: cleaning, shopping, cooking, school stuff, dr appts, pets, dealing with repair people, some gardening.
My husband works full time and takes care of the heavier yard work, minor home repairs and general maintenance. He also pays most of the bills and manages all of our finances, including funding retirement plans for BOTH of us.
It's a very traditional arrangement and it's NOT perfect but it has worked pretty well over all. I think the hardest thing for me during the early years (where you're at now!) was the frustration of never being able to have everything done at once, and the fact that you are literally on duty 24/7. Just go easy on yourself, don't expect perfection and try to really enjoy this time with your kids. Also make sure YOU get out, take a break and have some fun on a regular basis, that will really recharge you :)