J.P.
I work in a pedo dental office and most kids will give it up around 4. It's great that you only keep it to the bed room. Makes it easier for them to give it up. I wouldn't even talk about giving it up yet he's really not going to care.
My son will be 2 next month and I was wondering when the best time is to wean the pacifier. Right now he only uses it for naps and sleeping. I've had different people recommend letting him wean off of it himself, and others say it is best to have him give it up now. Some concerns I have are having trouble with him napping without it, but I also have another baby due in September, and kind of think I should get him off of it before baby's arrival. Also, any recommendations on how to wean them would be awesome... Any input would be appreciated!!
I work in a pedo dental office and most kids will give it up around 4. It's great that you only keep it to the bed room. Makes it easier for them to give it up. I wouldn't even talk about giving it up yet he's really not going to care.
I cut a tiny piece of the tip of the pacifier off of my son's pacifier and the next time he sucked on it he said, "mommy broken" and he threw it in the trash :)
A friend of mine slowly trimmed the pacifier shorter and shorter till it was no longer usable. You could give it a slit so it 'no longer works' and when you get through all of them maybe he wont need it anymore??
good luck!
Its best to just get rid of them if they are around and they know they are around they always want them and think they need them. I had my daughter gather all of hers and put them in a bag for th plug Fairy to come and take them. We put them in a tree and the next morning my husband left a little present for giving them up. With my son, we had just had a new nephew in the family so we had him give them to him. He got them together and gave them to the baby, we said now that there is a new baby, that he needed to let someone else use them, both of my kids were inlove with having them and gave them up really easy. The first night or nap was always a little hard, however we reassured them that everthing was going to be ok and that now that they were BIG they didnt need them anymore. Hope this helps!!
I poked a hole in the nipple the first week, then gradually cut more and more off until we were down to just the plastic handle. It took a while but worked great. No tears or trauma.
S.
We got rid of our daughter's when she was two. With her we went cold turkey. It was a Friday and we couldn't find it, so my husband and I decided that was a good time. Bedtime took a little longer and so did naptime the next day, but by the time Monday rolled around she was fine without it. I rewarded her by letting her pick out something else that she could sleep with, like a new stuffed animal.
We tried giving the pacifiers to our new baby nephew when our son was little, but that didn't work for him, he always changed his mind when we were leaving. We eventually had to go cold turkey with him too.
My mother in law who does daycare cuts the end so they so flat when they are sucked. Most of the children have told her they are broken and she tells them to throw them away and that's it.
We have three children who all used a pacifier and all went cold turkey on them. All about the age of two. Our oldest just gave them to us when we asked, the middle son threw his own in the garbage one day and our daughter who just turned two gave hers to her baby cousin to get rid of them. The first night and nap was rough and they'd ask about them for about a week but then it was over. I always dreaded it but it goes fine and I feel much better when they are done with them. Good Luck.
I've heard of having the child give all their pacifiers to the pacifier fairy
I've heard of cutting the nipple part each day shorter and shorter til it's gone
The BEST time to get rid of it was about a year ago. Children don't have a need for a pacifier after a couple of months. Think back to when he was new born, remember how he would suck in his sleep. That behavior is what the pacifier is for. When that disappears, there is no more need for the thing. Trouble is that the parents are the ones that need it. If you take it away now, be prepared for a rough couple of days.
We did 18 months with our first and right at two with our second and found that to work great. Like you, we were down to just using it at naps and bed, and with our second she didn't even put up a stink when we took it away. Our first had a few times where she cried and wanted it, but it went away after a few days. Good Luck!
I have three children. We took my daughter's when she was 3. I felt best then b/c I could explain it to her. We went cold turkey, but I felt like atleast she understood. My 2 year old still has his at bed and nap. We plan to take his away at 3 as well. I think the big concern at this age is speech. If your son is not talking with it in his mouth all the time, then let him keep it. With the new baby coming, it may be his comfort.
Good luck!
J.
I too had a son who had a pacifier and he did not want to give it up. He was after 3 when we went cold turkey. I had his first Dentist "Happy Smile" checkup and the dentist took one look in his mouth and said the pacifier is gone tonight. He explained to my son that the "Paci Fairy" will be coming tonight to take them away to give to other babies. His mouth was developing around the pacifier and not what it should be. So that night we went cold turkey. Yes, it was rough that night and the next few days but it was well worth it. He was a good talker prior to this but oh my goodness what a difference it made on his speech and words afterwards. I do it now, if he has another security, stuff animal or blanket he already uses, that helps too with the adjustment. If I knew now what I knew then back when he was a year it would have been gone then. So good luck.
Hi, My name is L., Iam a mom of a 7 yr. and 10 mon. When my 7yr was two we had a pacifier. He was gave it up on his own, but he had gotten a stuffed dog from his uncle which he loves and had started to sleep with fleece blankets. But if you are going to have a baby soon, you can always say the baby needs them and gave it to the baby. Goog luck! I know what you are going though. Im worried about my baby when it comes time, cuz he realy likes his pacifier.
I let my son keep his pacifier until a while after his baby sister was born, but we had a lot of changes taking place and I thought that was the one thing I could let him keep during the transitions. A few months later, we started throwing away the broken ones. He was chewing on them a little bit and they were developing holes, but you could add a few holes as well. I explained that they were dangerous to use if they had holes, and he was very cooperative throwing them away. When we got to the last one, I explained that after we threw that one away we wouldn't be getting any more, but that we would go get a toy that he had been wanting for a while.
I feel like this let him have a lot of agency in the process. He's a kid who needed that sensory stimulation so I felt it was important to do this gradually and to have his buy-in for it.
It really is up to you as a parent. However I tend to wait a while before taking it away.... There is a reason why they call it a pacifier. It does just that it pacifies your child. I'm not suggesting that you have a 4 year old with a paci, but I am saying think of all the transitions you little one will be going through in the next couple months-year. first a new sibling, then probly a big kid bed , then more than likely pre-school as well as potty training. that is alot ontop of learning the essentials of how to be a social person in our world. I'm not saying I know it all but it" been my experience that if you take it too soon you will regret it . I always wait till about the age of 3 sometimes a little younger it depends. Then I snip the end of the paci to make it look BROKEN ... children that age can realize that when it's broke you throw it away!!! And then you say but that's ok cause your a big kid now Right? if they want to hold it still let them they will throw it away , soon. MAKE SURE all paci's everywhere brake at the same time. Mom's Grandmas, Daycare etc. and avoid the isle at Target like the flu....I have done daycare for 19 years and it has worked every time.This way YOU the person your child trusts most isn't the bad guy who took his paci. It just simply BROKE!!! Hope this helps
You might want to let him keep it, especially with a new baby coming. When his sibling arrives he becomes the "big" brother and you can play that up, saying the babies use pacifiers but big boys don't need them. Then, he might give it up by himself. Or, it might be the thing he can cling to at nap time that allows him to be the "baby", too w/o regressing into other, more troublesome behaviors like insisting to sit on your lap when you need to tend to baby, wetting his pants (assuming he's training by then), etc.
SAHM of seven
D.,
I took my daughters paci away when she was 1 (that's what dentists recommend if you don't want it to affect their teeth). My daughter only used it for naps and bedtime as well so the 1st night I didn't give it to her, she fussed for about 5 minutes and went to sleep. I think it's much easier to do it with a 1 year old, they can't put up as big of a fight as a 2 yr old. I don't think it should be too difficult for him since he just uses it for naps. I wouldn't suggest letting him hang on to it until the baby comes b/c then you'll need to let him keep it for a while. Trust me, he won't even remember his paci by September if you take it away now. I'm not sure that I would tell him the new paci is for the baby, you don't want him to resent the baby for "taking" his paci from him. Good luck.
D.,
This is a good time to wean from the pacifier. I slowly weaned mine in about 2 weeks around 12 months. I took it away during the day and only used it during nap and night time. Then I weaned off nap and finally night. What helped is that his pacifiers were getting old and developed holes in them. When it no longer gave him suction satisfaction he would have nothing to do with it and say "yuk!" On the second week for nap and evening I nipped little holes in the last pacifiers and he quickly stopped using them and went without.
Hope this helps!
Melissa
I am curious about this too, but my initial question is why worry about it? My son uses his pacifier a lot and my pediatrician has told me that studies show pacifiers are good for babies because sucking is a natural coping mechanism for them.
Of course, we don't want our kids going off to school with pacifiers in their mouths, but my guess is kids will grow out of it on their own. If he is only using it when he sleeps, maybe take it out of his mouth after he falls asleep? Perhaps that would help him get away from the sensation of having it in his mouth at that time and eventually get rid of it.
A.
These are all good suggestions. My son is 3 and I asked the Pediatrician since he was still using them to sleep (but they stayed in bed after he got up)and she said it was okay for him to keep using them. He doesn't use it to sleep at daycare (they're tougher than I am!). We're having a new baby at the end of the month, so I'm sure he'll regress and will appreciate having them. I'm strict on other stuff, but rather wishy washy on this issue! :-) Eventually I'll either trim them or have the nuk fairy need them.
In response to your question regarding eliminating the paci, I was worried about how my son would react as well. He is very easy going, however needed his paci to sleep (naps/ night). I tried cold turkey--and IT WORKED! One night he got pretty upset (2nd night) so I gave in after talking with my husband. After that, he was ok without. He was younger than your son. I think we did this after his first birthday. With children that are close to 2, I have had friends who talk to their kids about not being a baby anymore and either throwing away the pacis together, or collecting them to pass on to other babies that need them (and giving them to their parents to toss later on). It worked for them, something to try at least.
I love coming on this site and seeing that other moms are going through the exact same things, at the exact same times as I am. My daughter is 19-months and we are in the process of weining from the pacifier right now. She also only uses it at naptime and bedtime. I work full-time so she is in a wonderful daycare every day. I spoke with the teachers at daycare a couple weeks ago and told them that after I returned from a work trip (last week), I thought we would start the process. Well, it just so happened that she bit a hole in the one she uses at daycare right after our conversation so they decided to get a jump-start. So, she has gone without one at naptime for a couple of weeks now. Sunday night, I started working on bedtime. We rock and read books before bed and, usually, she has the pacifier in her mouth. I started not giving it to her right away. I would tell her she was big and didn't need it. Well, both Sunday and Monday night, she held out a little bit but then just sobbed for it. Eventually, I gave it to her. I think more because I had been gone a week and didn't want to proceed too fast. Tuesday night, she fell asleep without it and stayed asleep until 3:30 am when she stood up in her crib and was screaming mad and sobbing "BINKY!" like she had lost her best friend! After soothing her almost to sleep several times and then having it start all over, I caved at about 4:15 and gave it to her. Wednesday night, she made it all the way to 4:30 am before this started. Last night, it started at 9:00 pm. I went in and comforted her and reminded her that she was big and didn't need it. She would be just about asleep and cry "Binky" again. I finally decided to see if she could get herself over the hump. I paced the floor outside her room until she fell back to sleep at 10 pm. I am very happy to say we made it through the rest of the night without the pacifier! I made a big deal of it this morning when I went in to get her and I gave her a sticker that we put on her shirt. When we got to daycare, we showed everyone the sticker and, of course, they praised her as well. I am not saying that we won't have difficult nights yet to come but I feel so much better now!
I tried giving her one that I had cut the end off of and she didn't buy into that. She said, "Broken" and threw it away and then asked for her "Binky" again. One thing we did do this week was point out in her books at night that no one had a "binky." Last night, when we were rocking, she pointed at her stuffed Baby Tad and said "No Binky" and continued to do that to me, her bear, etc. We have also talked about her friends at school and how they don't use pacifiers.
A friend of mine told me recently that she read the best time to take the pacifier away was between 8-9 months because that is when they miss it/need it the least. I said, "Now you tell me!" I was concerned about her teeth and the whole development of her mouth so I wanted to do it sooner than later.
One thing I read over and over when I was researching the whole process before we started was not to give them something else to replace the pacifier because that is encouraging dependancy on another item. She does have a small blanket with a bear head and arms that she sleeps with as well so I just told her she still had "Blanky-Bear" and didn't need "binky" but I did not give her anything else.
I hope this helps!
My friend helped her little girl wrap all her pacifiers in a pretty box and give to their baby niece. She reminded her daughter that she is a big girl now and the pacifier is for the baby. Would he wrap them up as a gift for your baby girl?
My daughter had hers until she went to daycare at 18months. The daycare provider said "She doesn't need this." For about a week I kept bringing her to daycare with the pacifier and for a week my daycare provider kept telling me that she doesn't need it. I had to break the habit of giving it to her. She was fine without it!
Hope all works out for you!
The majority of kids wean themselves off them by about age 3. Some kids do it sooner, but some kids actually do have a sensory need to suck, it is a very soothing/calming activity as sucking releases certain brain chemicals. I know a lot of posters are encouraging you to wean now but I personally would wait a bit longer and let him keep it during the stressful time of the new baby. A lot of kids regress emotionally when there is a big change like that so let him have the comfort. But onlky you know what your kid needs.
When I weaned my son off of his, we used the pacifier fairy method with great success. I talked about it with him and let him decide when he was ready. The key lure for him was that the fairy would leave him a present in exchnge for his pacifiers. This was key because every time he begged for his pacis back I gave him the option of returning the gift toys to the fairy and he could get back his pacis if he really needed. He always chose to keep the toys. One note: My son has sensory processing issues so about 6 months after giving up the pacis he did go through a stage of chewing/sucking on his clothes. I solved that by getting him a chewy tube from The Autism Shop in Hopkins. They have awesome sensory toys for all kids.
I weaned my oldest son at 17 months by cutting the tip of nipple off. He only ever had it at nap and bedtime so each night I cut a little more off until he no longer wanted it. He was upset for 2 nights after they were gone but after that he was fine. Just make sure that when you are ready to wean that you stick with your decision and not back down. If you cave and give them back he'll know that you'll give in and he'll keep testing you. I had to cut all of the pacifiers in the house so I knew that I couldn't give in.