Favorite Word Is NO!!

My son went through that as well, he is 26 months. I just ignored it most of the time and did what I wanted. Like if he said no to a food or a toy I would still give it to him. He is just trying to assert himself and it's about control right now. I just tell him that I am the Mommy and I am the grown up and I decide what to do, not him. He can say "no" all he wants. I don't even know if they actually understand what the word means, vs they just like the way it sounds. He'll eventually stop or just start using it correctly.

There is nothing you can do about it. This is his sign of showing his own independence. It won't get any better. No offense, but you are the parent and you can not reason with a child that mentally can not reason. They just aren't capable at this age. Make him do the things you want.

C., you need to keep in mind that developmentally your little boy is trying to separate himself from you and gain some sense of control over his world. That's fine. It's also terribly annoying when the "no" becomes a routine response to everything you ask. If you can maintain a sense of humor about it and try to approach this as something that will pass in time (really, it will), you'll begin to find ways to turn the situations around and use them as teachable moments: "Gee, I'm sorry! You said no when I asked you to sit still, so I figured you didn't want a glass of chocolate milk. You know you can't drink milk if you're not sitting still." Then follow through! No rewarding bad behavior. The Law of Logical Consequences rules.

Just ignore it. You might try outlawing the word for everyone in the household, using instead a group of words such as "you may not have another piece of cake" -- easier for you than him to get the point across.
C.

If you can slightly shift your perspective, you might find that your son's discovery of his ability to say "no" is actually something to be celebrated! It's good if you can see it as one more healthy step that he's taking, among the many steps he has already taken (starting with his birth-day) and will continue to take, to become his own autonomous person and move toward independence.

That doesn't mean that these steps are easy for you! ;-) Not all of them are, but like everything that comes our way, there are opportunities for growth and wisdom. The trick here is for you to find creative ways to make life work for you *and* your son. Here's a link that might help, if you're into it:

http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/terrible-not

By the way, saying "no" is not entirely a bad thing, either. These days, with child predation and unsavory influences, I like my son, who is now 13, to feel comfortable saying "no" to people who may not have his best interests at heart. He's no "yes-man," and for that I'm extremely grateful!

Anyway, I hope this is helpful!

All typical children go through this stage. You did too. He is gaining control and independence. He is NOT being defiant. He is being a 2 year old.

That does not mean he doesn't need to do what you say, it means that he should not be punished for saying no.

For example, instead of saying "Eat your carrots and I'll give you ice cream." (the bribe) say "You have a choice, you can eat your carrots or your peas, which is it?" (giving him the control to choose).

Try not to give him an opportunity to say no. You can have the red car or the blue car, you brush your teeth first or mommy brushes your teeth first, you sit in the chair or you sit in your bed, you put on the first sock and mommy puts on the second sock.

Now, there are times when bribing isn't such a bad thing, so don't be so hard on yourself. I bribe sometimes, I think we all resort to it once in a while. Just give him the control over his body that he needs to help him grow up into a confident, secure, healthy child while setting limits at the same time. Choice and limits are crucial.

Good luck.

A.

If you get a response please let me know because I have the same problem with my 2.5 yr old daughter. It drives me crazy!!! She says it with such an attitude too. I have to bribe her all the time. D.

Sorry I just saw everyone response - disregard.

My daughter is two years old and says "no". I usually threaten her with a time out and I say "you do not say no to mommy and daddy". I also stopped saying "no" to her. I have put things in different ways. Like "please do not touch that" instead of yelling "no don't touch". It has gotten better but it is going to take some time.

Good LUck

NO is a developmentally appropriate word for a two year old. You may have to grin & bear it for a while.

Try redirecting his attention or rephrasing your request with different words. These strategies might ease the pain of "NO"

A good reference for child development are an older series of books by Louise Bates Aimes (from the Yale child Study Center)
She wrote individual books titled, "Your one year old", "Your two year old"...- Try Amazon

GOOD LUCK!

~J.
(Early Childhood Educator)

My son who turned 2 almost a month ago recently started telling me no when I would offer him something. It was a very sharp NO, and he would shake his head. After a couple of times of that I started saying "no thank you" as soon as he said NO. It only took a few times, and now he says "no thank you". It worked like a charm. Good luck!

This is a good question but from what I have learned in my experience with my own kids is that at 2 years old it will pass. Is this your first child?

Hey C.,
I know it totally bites to hear that all the time- mine is six and he's full force on the resistence trip!
BUT, at those times when I can pull myself back and see him as someone who was born* to become his own person, I understand that his asserting his "no", albeit against my "yes" is his only way right now to try to figure out who he is in contrast to who I am. And it may very well be that he winds up agreeing with me anyway, however long after he has created this personal space/boundary by separating himself from me with the NO. *Ultimately I've realized that, although these children have found their way onto this Earth through us, they really aren't us, and the world they will find themselves in will already be different from our world, from our parents' world, and all I can really do is teach some of what helped me get this far, and the rest is up to him. Don't sweat the no thing too much. My best advice from my moments of clarity is: Just try to see and find yourselves
(parents & child) on some sort of middle ground. Like I said, he's just trying to find out who he is- we define who we are amid contrast/conflict. Kind of a universal thing, and it starts around your son's age...
:)
Rev. U. Carrie