H.C.
It sounds to me as if "words of affirmation" is not your love langauge. There is a book called the Five Love Languages. It's a very good book that is Christian based. It talked about how every person has a love language.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Recieving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Anyway, the jist of the book is simple: If your spouse speaks your love language to you, your "love tank" is full.
Mine, for example is acts of service. If you want to me be happy - do something for me. While my husbands is physical touch - hugs, kisses throughout the day, etc. (which is hard for me to do, as I am not an affectionate person, but I do it anyway.)
Anyway, I can't do the book justice - check it out...
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
HTH.