I'm sorry your friend is going through this.
Did she and her hubby/live in not have any type of plan? Most likely, 1 person will die first and most of the time, plans are in place for burial, cremation, services, etc. I know my hubby and I have had plans in place for years. Having a plan, even a simple one, helps someone go through the process al little easier. That way, it is more likely that uncessessary spending and desicions would be made.
As for the house, I would think the city would step in because this is a health hazard for her and her neighbors.
She should contact her city for help. There should be some sort of legal services available to her so she can be best advised as how to get everything together.
Good luck to her. This should be a wake up call to a lot of people who don't plan on the future.