Fruit Salad No No. Insult or Compliment

Tell them you are bringing the salad as already promised, but you will be happy to bring along the electric cattle prod, to help them back away from the salad.

Can you tell I am from Texas?

I understand having conflicted emotions about those comments not to bring the fruit salad. Honestly, I think telling someone what NOT to bring is being rude. I'd say "sorry, I already promised someone that I WOULD bring it this time, but since you don't want it at the potluck, I won't bring it anymore after this upcoming meeting"

I think they need to grow up and make a choice to control themselves. Bring the damn salad and share the recipe on here too! If you feel badly about it bring some jello with fruit and cool whip for them.

Sorry, I already said yes to another group member asking me to bring it!

But I will promise not to bring it for at least a month - good luck with your diets!

Make a DOUBLE BATCH and put it in a beautiful bowl. Seriously, if those women don't have enough self control, they should stay home.

My 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter have better self control than they do!

Be proud of your sweet concoction! :)

I agree with Patricia G. Totally a compliment...and if you promised someone already that you would bring it, then you should. Maybe compromise by making a small fruit salad on the side that is just fruit, with no cream cheese, cool whip, etc. Fresh, ripe fruit is pretty tasty all by itself!

If possible, try to figure out what an appropriate portion size is and what the calories, carbs and fat data are. If you put your recipe in Spark Recipes it will calculate for you. Then, take a measuring cup for a serving size and put the nutritional data on an index card. Label "Nutritional Data" on one side and put the info on the other. It's not really as much work as it sounds, and it is a nice supportive thing to do for those who are trying to watch their weight. As far as I know, the Weight Watchers diet doesn't make you abstain from the yummy treats you love, just indulge in moderation.

Either that, or I'd bring a fudgey, gooey confection that makes the fruit salad look like a better option in comparison. :-) But I'm passive aggressive like that. :-)

I think it is a compliment! I would just say sorry, ladies, but I already promised so and so that I would bring it. But, if you would like I will either tackle you to the ground if you go near it or make something diet friendly to bring as well....

I would tell them that you have been requested to bring it, so you are going to, but that they are welcome to not eat it, as they don't have to. Life brings all kinds of tempations. Honestly I find that very rude of them to say that to you!!

So.... you wanna share that recipe?? Lol. Sounds delicious!

That must be some kind of amazing concoction! I would email back that you'd be happy to oblige but you already promised another member that you would bring it and don't want to go back on your word. Add a little "you're stronger than you think, keep up the good work, so proud of you" stuff at the end and it should be all good.

I'd reply back to the two ladies and say "Well Julie already requested that I DO bring it and I have already bought the ingredients. Maybe if you arrive late it'll all be gone?? See you Sunday."

Funny that they don't have the willpower to NOT eat it. I mean shoot. Just don't put it on your plate! Eat before you arrive! Something! I am very surprised that they both emailed you. I mean - it does tell you that they honestly don't want you to bring it because it's too tasty and irresistable. But heck. I say bring it. They can choose to eat it or not eat it.

@Yarrmatey - hilarious. Yes Offer to tackle them! If you're funny or lighthearted in your email reply, then they shouldn't be offended.

Go ahead and bring it (I know this salad, my family adds pretzals to for a little crunch.) If they can't handle the temptation they are not going to suceed in weight loss. There is temptation everywhere.

Bring it! Your not a bad guy and it not like its a weight loss group! Yum! My nephews birthday is coming up and I want your recipe :)

I would bring it. It's a potluck and you should be able to bring whatever you want. I'm not on a diet but I do try to eat healthy. It's not your fault they have no self control. Sure I would love to load up on that fruit salad but you need to have some self control. If I want something healthy at a potluck I will bring it myself. I usually just bring a bowl of fruit instead of making the "salad".

So funny - definitely a compliment. You already told someone you would bring it so I think you have to keep that promise :) Don't know if there's a "low-cal" version that would taste good, but maybe you can try that for the next meeting? You can't control their self control LOL

You just joke that sardines or gefilte fish is going in this time, so no worries.

why don't you make a low cal version also? Just sub in low fat cream cheese/sour cream, fat free cool whip and sugar free jello. If you can add some lower sugar fruits that would be great too-berries are the best. Your friends would love having a dessert that they could eat on their diet.You could use a measuring cup to serve it with so they know the portion size that they are getting.

I do like the idea of doing a full fat and low fat version and bringing both! Maybe you can have a little taste taste go on and see which one people like better. There is sugar free and/or fat free Cool Whip available. I personally am not a huge fan of Cool Whip in general, but making it with real whipped cream sounds devine! My grandmother used to make a lime jello salad similar to this and we can't find the recipe, maybe this is it!!!

They're obviously not learning what they need to with WW if they are asking you not to bring something so it's not there. With WW, you learn to eat in any setting. If they're committed to WW, they should be able to fill up their plates with plenty of other foods and not feel deprived just because one item is on the table.

In your situation, though, I would probably just bring something else to keep the peace ... maybe just a regular fruit salad with fruit and nothing else in it.

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You have a right to make what you want. I would email them back and tell them, "Sorry, but XXXX asked me to promise to make it before you requested for me not to!" (smiley face). Honestly, they better get used to turning down things they can't eat or learn how to eat a very small amount. Temptations are everywhere! I would not alter my plans to make something others love because two people can't restrain themselves.

***Oh, and my mother used to make this every Easter, and it was one of my very favorite things on earth! I haven't made it since she passed away, but it's sooooo good! And this is from someone who hates almost all sweet, jello-esque or creamy salad concoctions like this. She also always put in mini pastel colored marshmallows.

compliment. Without knowing how they worded it we cannot know, but it would be rude for them to do this on so many levels, so I think they are just telling you its THAT good.

I would bring it since you already told the one person that you would. My guess is that, even if you didn't bring it, at least one other person is planning on bringing some other fattening, yummy dish that would tempt them instead.

If you wanted to help them out, you could bring a smaller bowl of just mixed fresh fruit: strawberries, cantaloupe, grapes, etc. (Heh, and then maybe a container of diet cool whip that they can slap on top.)

I'm just appalled that people feel they can tell others what to bring or not bring to a potluck. "Accommodate ME! Do what works best for ME!" is what they're screaming through their polite "Oh please don't tempt me with your delicious treat" e-mails. Like so much else these days, this potluck has become an example of people thinking their personal needs are so very important that everyone must accommodate them.

Do what you want and sweetly say, well, dieting is all about self-control!

Since you already told folks you would bring it, you should. You should tell your friends that you understand thier concerns, and will decline to bring it in the future until they tell you otherwise.

ALthough, personally I would also tell them that I will wait a few months to allow them to get more fully involved in WW before bringing it again, but they are 2 people out of 20 and if enough people ask you will bring it. But dependning on your level of freindship that might not work out too well...

My mom made a similar recipe - I think she called it Ambrosia (which is totally appropriate if you look up the name! - Yours sounds much better, though.)

Bring it. If they don't have self control, that's not your problem. And I don't know if the recipe would taste as delish with all of the lowfat options out there.

Bring it! It's not up to you to decide what they put in their mouth, it's up to them. If they actually want to lose weight they can't push the decisions on to other people, they need to learn to have control over thier own habits. If they can't resist the dish (which sounds amazing, btw) then they shouldn't get near it.

If it were me I would reply saying, "You should read 'Mindless Eating'. Good luck!" but I'm kind of snarky and tend to reply to people by telling them to read a book...

And really, having a yummy snack once in a while is not a problem and does NOT cause weight issues. It's what they're eating every single day that's causing it, not your awesome yummy fruit salad.

I would love to get some of those type of compliments on things I bring! Usually, it's something like, "Don't worry about bringing a dish- we have enough, but how about you bring the paper goods?" because I think my friends wonder if I'm trying to poison someone with my cooking. Bring it!!

Its a potluck, you take whatever the heck you want. Dieters need to make healthy choices, that's on THEM to do, not on YOU to cater to them. Good luck!

Geez, if they're recovering alcoholics, and you all meet at a restaurant, do they have to clear the booze out of the bar area too?

I'd take it.
It's called self control in this case.

Well you could bring it -and say you're already committed to bringing it this time. Or you could make a fruit salad with a variety of fruit, which is delicious too. I would not comment on their "diets" BTW. And Weight Watchers is a lifestyle approach to eating less and moving more-for life. It's not meant to be a temporary diet. I've lost 70 pounds on WW and I would never ask someone not to make a specific dish at a pot luck. If they are worried about it, let them bring something else!

I'm on WW too so I can understand where they are coming from. But a big part of WW is learning how to live in the real world, treat yourself, but use portion control and not over do it.

If you think they can handle a little teasing remind them they have an extra 49 points every week for treats or they can save up some activity points to use.

Seriously though, you can skinny up the recipe. Use fat free or low fat cream cheese, sour cream, and cool whip. I know in a recipe like that I can hardly tell a difference when fat free sour cream and cream cheese are used. You could also substitute fat free plain yogurt for the sour cream.

If you send me the exact recipe that you are going to use (including how much of everything and about how many servings it makes) I can figure out how many points it would be and you can give them a heads up.

I think that is kind of rude of the ladies to ask you NOT to bring it and make you feel like it's your fault they battle their weight. Maybe make a small bowl so there is enough for the ladies that requested it? And yes, they need to learn to deal with temptation, I agree with you.

Make the original yummy, heart attach version, and make a low fat version, it will make you quite popular ;)
edit:
Basically, I think they were complimenting you on how good it is, and using you as their excuse to bust their diet wide open on that particular day.

I think you should tell them sorry but someone has already asked you to bring it and you told them you would. It is not everyone else fault that they are dieting and if they don't have the selfcontrol to stay away or have a very small portion why should everyone else sacrifise your delisous salad!!!! I would not be insulted they are telling you it's too good to stay away from. It sounds wonderful!!!

Im on weight Watchers right now and Im going to a pot luck next week. I know before I get there, others will bring foods I should eat. I also know there will be foods I am allergic to. I use self control and not take what makes me sick and self control to not take foods that make me fat. Those ladies are trying to blame thier weight on others and not taking responsibility for themselves. If they go to a store to buy healthy foods, do they tell the manager to remove all the junk food first? Thats silly of them. Maybe I will make your fruit salad and take that next week! I wont be eating any of it but Im sure others will love it.

If these ladies can't resist temptation, they won't succeed in their diets anyway. Don't be influenced by them.

please post the recipe!

& as for the 2 "almost friends"...if they're dieting, then they need to learn self-control. That's an integral part of dieting!

On the other hand, they are reaching out for help...& to them....this is kind of like lighting a cig in front of somebody trying to quit. :)

Another thing to think about: this will be your 4th time to bring this dish in the past year. Perhaps they're trying to tell you something? I'm not really buying into that one, tho'! :)

so to clarify, the group is totally not about food or dieting??? and other people bring brownie truffle delights and other fattening foods??? but these ladies feel close enough to you to be vunerable and Jokingly ask you not to bring it?

I guess i woud go with what i value most, if these dieting ladies are people that are true to me and could be life long friends vs someone in the crowd that liked my dessert and asked for it again, but that i don't have a ton in commonw ith beyond that. then i would honor your dieting friends request even if they weren't seriously demanding that you never bring fattening food again. just be a pal and don't tempt them.

They are pry just being honest. Just worried about their figures and your fruit salad doesn't help them obey their diets. No it's not your problem. I agree.

I'd say hey I was already asked to make it, already agreed to make it, so I'm going to this time but I'd tell them either you'll try to refrain in the future or maybe also bring a lower fat option for them next time.

I belong to some groups here too though. One is a vegetarian group. Well one of the rules is no nuts because one of the founders of the group has a child that is allergic to nuts. Well everyone complies to her rule but behind her back they talk about how absolutely absurd that is and that most of us veggies eat alot of nuts for protein in the first place. So actually she's not that well liked because of that rule and I've heard women talking about how it should just be that food with nuts has a special label and she should then not feed it to her child. I really never get the feeling she's liked. To her face they are all so nice though. But has anyone ever said anything to her? I doubt it. So I guess they could be treating you the same behind your back. It happens too.

I think it's a wonderful compliment. If it were me, I would not bring it for the potluck, but I would make a special batch for the lady who requested it to take home, with the recipe attached.

Hmm, really is a tough call. On one hand, it's not an everyday food/meeting so if it's fattening, not a huge deal. On the other hand, these ladies asked you not to bring it, so it would be the nice thing to do to help them out. BUT you did already promise you'd bring it.... My next thought is a compromise: Have you ever made a low-cal/low-fat version? Would it be too awful? (Some things just aren't meant to be lowfat! But this dish may be able to handle it because the pineapple is so sweet and delish on it's own?) Could be worth a try just to see how it tastes, for everyone's benefit!

And, P.S., yes by the way, you should def. feel complimented :)