My daughter is in dance class and the fees they are asking you to pay are not unusual. We've been at two different studios and at both places we paid tuition, recital fee and a costume fee. What is unusual, IMO, is that they are charging you a late fee for not paying the recital fee on time. I would definitely be asking why they are doing that and I also don't understand if you are paying a recital fee why then do you also have to buy tickets to the performance? The recital fee is used to cover the costs of putting on the recital, the rental fee for the auditorium, hiring of sound/light technicians, clean up, etc.
Both studios my daughter has been at, in all the literature it was very clear what fees would be paid and when. You do have the option, again in our experience but I've also seen this in my research of other studios, of not performing in the recital. Your daughter would still attend class and learn the dance she just wouldn't go to the recital. If you do that I would assume that you wouldn't have to pay the costume fee or recital fee. I would definitely talk to the owner or director of the studio you are at about the late fee and see if they'll waive it.