Guardian Won't Allow Child to Visit with Relatives.

Maybe once the child got back to their house, they saw a change in behavior or acting out.
It's hard to say. I do understand their hesitancy to allow the mother spend too much time too fast. While she maybe on the right path, they may feel it's still too soon. It's hard to guess what they are thinking.

Maybe they would be open to group outings.

Here I would have to guess the Guardian may have access to some information about the Mother, and the rest of the family that you do not.

Willing to bet there are layers and layers to this story, and cannot make judgement without hearing all sides of course.

:)

I would not discuss the mother with the guardian. I would simply ask if there is a reason the guardian is not allowing the child to visit YOU. Worry about your relationship with the child first. It may also be that while the child was happy to have had the outing, there are issues or behavioral problems after such outings that you are not aware of.

I'll be very honest with you, as we have the same situation in my family. My parents have permanent guardianship over my two nephews. YOu do not now how many times, his 'parents' have 'cleaned' up their act, are really on the right path start coming over and FINALLY being involved with their kids, only to have a relapse. Think about how much fun it is, and how excited they were, and then all of a sudden have it stop, no rhyme or reason at all (in the kids minds anyway).

Let me tell you how emotionally trying, dramatic and unstable these kids have become. My parents finally had to call it like it was. The kids started acting out, it was very troubling to watch and be apart of. Basically all visitations have been halted unless supervised and drug tests have been passed (this was court ordered from the beginning but never carried through)

Now granted they never said they could do something and then not follow through with it, but I'm sure the guardians of this little boy are taking it very slowly, which they should. Now I'm not saying this boys parents are going to relapse or that they have had repeated offenses, but let me tell you, you can't be so sure with previous drug users. As much as this little boy was so excited, think of how much of a low if it becomes a pattern then just stops.

Guardians are probably just protecting him in some way. If he was anything like my older nephew even though he had fun with 'mom n dad when he got home he was a bare to deal with. It was just a emotional sense of uncertainty that he couldn't handle on his own (granted he's only 7).

I have a friend in a similar situation. Her cousin took custody of a niece. The courts are the ones who prohibited contact from the birth parents (until they clean up their act), but the gaurdian was told to use her best judgment with other family members. An example was the father lived with his parents (grandparents) so she could not in good judgement take the child to the grandparents knowing there's a chance the father could be there. Another example was my friend. She has an inlaw living with her who has a felony record, so the gaurdian does not take the child over there. Instead she offers to meet my friend at a park.
I think in this case she, the gaurdian, is being super careful In hopes to legally adopt the child. The parents were horrible, when CPS was called they found maggots under the child's fingernails, she was 2.5 at the time.
All I can think of is that there might be more going on legally with it then your aware of. If you know for sure there's no stipulations by family court, then who knows what's going on with the woman. Maybe she's hanging on to the child and fears allowing her to see family will make that child not want to stay with her, maybe its to soon to spend tons of time with the mom alone, maybe she's overwhelmed. Sort of sad that she stays in her room most of the time. Do you think if you ask her to take the child for the day she will let you? I would keep asking to spend time with her.
Good Luck.

If it was a good experience then I don't understand either. IF she was acting out or behavioral problems developed then as the guardian I would be concerned. I do think this person owes the mom an explanation if she asks. If the Mom wants to be active in her child's life and has been cleaning up her act she can go back to court to petition to get her rigths back or ask for visitation rights if she desires. Since you aren't the parent good that you stay out of it and don't put yourself in the middle. If it were to come up in the conversation with the guardian then I would ask why you can't see the child if everything went ok.

I'm certain beyond a doubt that there's much more to the situation that you're not privy to affecting the guardian's decisions regarding this child. Unless you live in that home and ARE actually a part of that situation then you don't have all the facts and can't possibly know or understand what's really going on.

If the biological mother doesn't have court mandated visitation, then she's not entitled to visits and the guardian isn't obligated to give her any if she feels they're more harmful than beneficial. And sorry to say, but as the acting parent it's up to the guardian in spite of what anyone else says unless the mother takes it to court.

Having guardianship over another person's child may be a little overwhelming, especially if that person is well aware of the circumstances requiring that the child be removed. The situation must have been pretty severe for custodial rights to have been suspended. Having worked with children in foster care and with adults in rehab, I can assure you that many recovering addicts make promises that they intend to keep, but don't. Unfortunately- more often than not, they do not keep the promises.

My guess (just a guess) is that the guardian is trying to maintain status quo until the child's permanent living arrangements are decided upon. It's actually a pretty good idea to limit her contact with her mother until mom is "clean" and is able to regain custody.

I'm not sure why she isn't allowing you to spend time? I would mention it to her directly, but from a positive lense. "I had so much fun with Susie at the zoo the other day. I would love to take her to see/do _____ next week. Which night works best for you?" If she says no, I would ask why not? You are coming from a good place and looking to provide additional support and love to a child whose life is in flux. I would hope that phrased positively and supportively- she would see that.

It's worth asking, but not worth pushing. If mom doesn't pull it together or relapses, you don't want to have the child unable to access you in the future!

I have taken abused kids out and they had a great time. I made sure to not cross boundaries and give my opinion about the situation. I tried to model healthy fun and how loving adults should treat children.

As someone who was working to protect 2 girls myself, I know plenty of people wanted to take them out and have fun. They never realized how inappropriate they were being in telling the child how the parent was all better. The parent was faking SOME people out, but not us or the judge.
If I were the guardian and knew you felt as you do, I would cut you off too.

When we went to court the judge looked up in the eye and said that we were claiming my daughter was an unfit parent and that he agreed. He also told us that if we let the kids go visit her and ANYTHING happened to them while they were in her care that he would throw the book at us because we knew better.
I have let the girl walk around Walmart with her mom and she started stealing everything in sight afterwards, I asked her where she learned that and she said her mom.

A 10 year old girl has no idea what the back story is and of course she wants to see her mom, it's only normal. But the mom may have burned many many bridges in the past, you don't know the story.

Also, the mom can take them to court anytime she wants. Guardianship is never permanent. She is the child's parent and can ask the court to terminate the guardianship arrangement. BUT she will have to pay for an attorney, she will have to have one to adequately plead her case, she'll have to pay all court costs, and perhaps even the guardians attorney fees. But she can request to have the guardianship set aside if she wants to.

All she has to do is file the papers and go to court. If she is as stellar as you believe she may not even need to have an attorney present just he money to pay for the other stuff.