Legal Advice on Guardianship

This discussion needs to take place with both the parents and the grandmother. If you don't think you will be able to care for the child don't agree to it. Let you friend choose another person who is in a position to be a parent in 10 years. A child needs someone that can be depended on to be there for him/her anything else is unfair to that sweet boy.

This is a serious decision, if you cannot fulfill the duty of raising a child then don't agree to be his parent.

Either way, give it some thought.

You absolutely can change your mind. A guardianship clause in a will is not binding and it should say something to the effect of: In the event of my death, I name S. W. to act as guardian of "X" if "X" has not reached the age of majority. If she is unable or unwilling to so act, I nominate "Y". The Courts will not create a legally binding guardianship without your consent so if, at the time of the death, you don't want to be named guardian you won't be. Also keep in mind that if the parents of the child have not had their rights legally terminated the Court will most likely strongly suggest that the child go into their care unless they are completely unsuitable. Your friend's attorney should discuss all of these things with her but bottom line, no, you are not obligated to be the child's guardian until you swear an oath to do so in Court.

Sounds like you have a ggood relationship with your friend.
Tell her yes, and explain your concerns.
Come yup with a second person (that you both believe in) in case you are unable to fulfill those duties down the road.
I doubt she will feel slighted a all.She will probably appreciate and respect the fact that you are looking out for his interest even before you are assigned guardian.

No you are not committed if your circumstances change. Our attorney had us list two couples as guardians for our children in our will. That is because the couples can always say no if their circumstances change.

Good for you for thinking ahead. I would let her know your concerns and have a system worked out where you revisit the situation every 2 years or so. Things may have changed in your relationship, or either of your situations. This will let both of you assess if anything needs to change. She can change her will at any time.

it depends. did your friend write a will? basically, i believe that is the only LEGAL way you are "bound" to this kid.

i would have a frank, honest discussion about this with your friend. talk to her about this. tell her that it is best for the child if she does name someone in a legal will to be the caregiver for this child. also she should probably name a backup person if possible.

if you love this child, and would take him in a heartbeat, how could your circumstances change to where you wouldnt? that i dont understand. if you love the child, you love him, and you would take him dispite your circumstances right?

either way, talk to your friend. express your concerns. she is going to understand better than anyone.
anyway,
good luck.

In my will I list 2 possible guardians for my children, my mom, and a provision that says that if she is unable or unwilling, than my aunt would step up. Could she pick two people as I did?

A will is not legally binding as to custody of a child. No matter what a person's will says, the courts will decide guardianship at the time of the parents' or guardians' death. By being named, you may be allowed some say in the decision - as to whether you are still willing and capable, etc. but the court will decide.

Parents, be aware that having your wishes in writing is not enough. You must talk with all family members and do your best to get agreement among them, because any adult with an "interest" (legal term) in the child's welfare can S. for custody upon your death.

I'm not a lawyer so I can't say for sure, but usually, a person would list at least 2 people for this this reason. If not, I don't believe you are under any legal obligation to take the kid. However, if you do not, and there is no one else, there is a strong likelihood that the child would end up in the system. I would suggest that at any time while your friend is living that you change your mind or feel you are unable to do so, talk to her. I would also suggest that you have her list a 2nd person now to avoid any problems in the future.

She should list more than one, since not only might your circumstances change (and you can't do it) but your health may change or you may die yourself.

She could ask her attorney if she can do maybe 2 year, renewable contracts. And a backup wouldn't be bad "in the event that you are unable to undertake guardianship at the time..."

I am assuming you are the same age as a grandmother so forgive me if I am incorrect.

No one is legally responsible to take a child even if they are listed in a will to be guardians. They would not force you to take him if you even just decided you didn't want him. You would just say "no, thank you but I can't at this time". What if something had happened to you where you were living in an assisted living situation, you can't be held legally bound to taking him.

We went through this when my friend asked us if we would take their kids if something happened to them. They had decided they didn't want either of their families to take the children and raise them out of their religion. They had their wills drawn up to list us as their choice for legal guardians with an agreed amount of living expenses to be given to us from their estate and an amount for living expenses for their children.

We talked with an attorney and he said a lot of times wills can't be an ultimatum item that forces people who are left behind to do one thing or another. Everyone has the option to choose for themselves when the time comes.