He Has an "Alarm Clock" in His Head

You may actually be waking him up. My son was in a crib in my room until 5 mos, mainly so he wouldn't wake his sister since they have to share a room. I didn't realize that I stirred about this time and he would wake up and it was so hard getting him back to sleep, he would have to lay on my stomach to go back to sleep. Since like you I wanted sleep I just let him fall back asleep on me then put him back in his crib. I knew I had to move him out of my room, I would just ignore the fussiness the best I could, which stinks, then I put him in his own room at almost 5 mos and he slept great. If he did fuss he would go back to sleep himself if I ignored him. I knew he wasn't hungry as aroun 2am he woke up for feedings too. I think when you are in the same room with them they sense your every move, sound, if you snored, whatever and once they wake up they just want you. The stages of sleep are they are more in a light sleep at that time too so more sensitive to noise. At least that was the case in our situation. If he is just fussying, try to ignore him as best as you can, if putting him in your bed helps you and he go back to sleep for an hour or so, I honestly don't think it is a huge thing. Just break that habit before you put him in his own room. Get him used to sleeping with noise, the vacuum, phone and so on, I had both of mine nap in a pack and play in the living room until 5 or 6 months to get used to noise.

It was suggested to me that I not talk or cuddle too much at the 2 AM feeding. Have you tried putting a little cereal in his bottle to give him a litte more then milk? Is he getting cold? Does he like music? Maybe a rolled up blanket against his back will comfort him so he can go back to sleep? My husband and I discovered our daughter was born with claustrophobia. From night one she wouldn't sleep in her cradle, so I put her is the crib, she slept fine for a year, then the crib got too confining for her. Does the baby wake up your 3 year old? Maybe he can talk to the baby, Crazy, I know. But siblings do speak the same language.

Our son was very much the same way, reflux, swallowing, feeding, torticollis. We watched the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It was a night and day difference for him with his sleeping. Some babies start outgrowing some of the things around 3 months, but it might be worth checking into. It was the only way was ever got any sleep!

I know a mom who has three boys who have disabilities. Thhey all wake up at 4 or 5 every morning. She tried time and time again to change this, she has not been able to. The boys go to bed very early so she and her husband can have a few hours alone and then she and her husband go to bed early as well. It as worked for them. Obviously this would not work for everyone, but it is a suggestion.

Just know you are not alone. Next time you are up at 4:11, know that around your time zone, others of us are joining you with our own precious, sleepless bundles. I have no advice (that works). My first son saw no value in sleeping and was up 5 times a night, regularly at 11, 1, 3, 5 and 6. Without fail. NO matter what we tried and we tried it all. We let him "cry it out." After hour five, I gave in. He finally slept through the night at five YEARS. Now we have a 3 1/2 month old in son #2. He is a better sleeper, but still likes to wake up at 4:30 or 5:30 and babble, eat his hands, coo, "aha!" and carry on. If he wakes up earlier than 5:30, he will babble (or cry depending on his mood) for ten minutes or so and go back to sleep (usually) if I can resist my instincts and just leave him alone. If it's 5:30 or later, he's up and that's just the end of night time in my house. I bring him into bed with us and make sure my husband is aware of this (we both work), so it's not just me who's tired. Mean I know, but I figure, fair is fair! ;-) Plus, he's pretty cute (the baby), so that makes it manageable. I'm hoping the 5:30 thing, though, is just a phase.

For your first question about him waking up at 4:11 each morning I suggest just letting him cry it out. If he's not hungry, dirty/wet diaper, not too hot etc then this just may be his fussy time that he needs to cry it out. I remember, with our second daughter, trying to quiet her down when she'd cry and eventually I realized that sometimes babies just need a good cry. You may need to move him to his own room, however, so you can sleep.

For your second question about your other son waking up with the babies crying I suggest just helping him through the transition. Tell him the baby may wake up but that is o.k. and that he can just lay quietly in bed and go back to sleep. Having a new baby is a transition for everyone. Eventually he'll learn to sleep through the noise. You may need to bring him back to bed or go in and help calm him down, but he'll learn to go back to sleep and/or sleep through it.

Ok, this may sound a little nuts but the 4:11 exactly stuck out in my mind. Did something happen that was traumatic at 4:11 am one day? I don't know where I saw a study on that people doing weird things to relive a traumatic moment corresponding to the same time, but that may be a starting point for your research. :D

I had the same problem with sleeping arangments at my house times two. I bought a sound machine for my daughter that just has white noise and it is on all night long and during nap time. She sleeps great cause she can't really hear anything over it, and I think that it has made her a better sleeper because now she is used to noise.(So I can actually do things while they are napping and don't have to tip toe around) For my son I did something a little different and I have a CD player in his room that I play soft music on every night. Since I started that I have been able to put the kids together to sleep and they don't even wake each other up even if they cry for a little bit. So my 3 year old and my 9 month old sleep together and my 2 year old has her own room till I change that up a little. It will get better I promise! Your doing a great job and I hope you can find something that works for you.