Help - Kansas City, MO

I am a preschool teacher. I have been for years. Here is a few ideas that might help. Youc can contact Parents as teachers and that might be able to give you some ideas. That might help him still get ready for kindergarten. There are many websites that I have use for my lesson plans . These are few and you can print them off ideas. That may retest him again before Kindergarten starts. Here are the wesites. Hope this helps . www.perpetualpreschool.com. www.123.com.
Good Luck
J.

My daughter completely failed the kindergarten screening. The teacher all but told us she would have to be in kindergarten for 2 years all because we did not go to pre-k. She also said we might want to keep her out for another year. How would that possibly help anyone?!
I sent Lily to kindergarten and she fit in just fine. She was reading by the end of the year. Now she is in second grade and reading at the fifth grade level. If you think he's ready, ignore them and send him. Moms know more about their children than teachers.

Hi S. -

I am sorry you and your little boy didn't have a very good experience...kindergarten roundup is supposed to be fun! And don't beat yourself up about him not going to preschool. There is nothing to say that that is the reason he didn't fair well. It could be another issue or simply a maturity issue. Is it possible that he is not "old" enough for kindergarten yet? A friend of mine held her son one extra year before kindergarten rather than sending him and it made a huge difference. Here is a checklist I found on the net about assessing yourself if a child is ready - here is the link - hope it comes through - http://school.familyeducation.com/kindergarten/school-rea...

Check that out and read about how you guys can work at home to get him a little more prepared. I would also get in touch with the school counselor at the elementary school he would attend and discuss your concerns and his evaluation. See what help she/he might be able to offer. That way you know you have done everything you can from this point to help set him up for success in kindergarten! I wish you guys lots of luck! God Bless!

Do not feel guilty because your child did not go to preschool. Time with you was well spent. She may have just been showing concern for your son. So much more is expected from kindergarteners than when you were his age.

Whenever you are with your son, always talk to him about what you are doing; the color & shape of things; count the number of carrots on his plate, blocks in his building, etc; teach him to write his name with upper and lowercase letters (letters start at the top) and about the letters in his name; talk about the first letter of words and the sounds they make; let him draw and write with crayons, pencils, and markers; teach him how to use child scissors and have him cut pictures out of old magazine or shapes you have drawn. Let him spend a lot of time outside running, climbing, swinging, and jumping. Ask him questions about his play that will encourage him explain what, why, and how. Help him be independent, a helper, kind, and respectful. These are most of the things we teach in preschool. Remember, you can be the best teacher your child will ever have.

my daughter didn't get to go to preschool either. She was very stubborn and didn't want to learn how to write her name or learn to write her letters before Kindergarten and I tried to teach her but at least she did know her colors, shapes, and what most of the letters were before she went to school. We lived in a small town and they didn't have a preschool that she could go to. They had headstart but she couldn't go because we made too much money and they wouldn't even let me pay for her to go. Well we were in the military and moved right before she started Kindergarten so we were in a school where most of the kids went to preschool because they had one there. Well she went to Kindergarten and I talked to the teacher about her not wanting to learn but the teacher was very positive and told me she would probably do fine. She said usually when the kids are all doing the same work, the ones that didn't want to learn before end up doing it because all the kids are doing the same thing and they don't want to be left out. Well needless to say, she did very well in kindergarten and was caught up with the rest of them within the first month and has never had to be held back in any grades and is now a 7th grader and the only subject she struggles with sometimes is Math and will make a B or C in Math but all her other grades are A's and B's.

My advice is to let your child go to Kindergarten and see how he does. If he doesn't advance and they feel he should stay in Kindergarten another year then make that decision then. The main thing they learn in preschool is getting along with other kids and do a lot of playing and not so much school work and the philosophy of most preschools is they learn through playing and will teach them their letters and colors and stuff like that during circle time or introduce it as they are playing. Use that preschool testing as a guide to teach him some of the skills he is missing during the summer. You will be surprised at how much he will pick up in these few months before school starts and really amazed at how much he will pick up the first few months of Kindergarten. If you read a book to him everyday that will help a lot with his reading skills. If he doesn't know his letters, shapes, and colors or the other skills that the preschool tested him on, just introduce a few of those everyday and after he learns those, keep reviewing those and add a few more new ones. 4 and 5 year olds can learn things really quick so you will be surprised at how much he can catch on just in these few summer months.
If you want some great learning books, there are some great workbooks at the dollar store. Get a Kindergarten level one and start there. Have him do at least one page a day, if he enjoys doing them then have him do a few more but don't push him into it, let him set a pace but encourage him to do at least 1 page and then go from there.

There are also a lot of websites with learning games that are free. I also purchased Jumpstart computer games for my kids. They loved them and we bought several different learning programs and jumpstart was their favorite and it has a wide range of learning skills and we bought them from Preschool-3rd grade. They do go up to 6th grade. They even have toddler and baby programs but we really didn't let the kids start using the computer until they were 3 or 4 years old. The jumpstart program are a lot cheaper now and have even seen them at BigLots before for less than 5.00. I think they still have them at Wal-mart too in the PC game section.

Good luck and hope this helps.

Hi S., you didn't say how old your son was. My youngest is going to start kindergaten in the fall and he will turn 6 the week before school starts. The teacher at Round Up summed it up perfectly, Kindergarten is not really kindergarten anymore, it's first grade with first grade expectations. So if your son is a little young, like just turned 5, I would wait like Beverly S. suggested. I have been through every age group with this (I have 6 kids) and have found the older the better, especially emotionally and mature wise. I would just spend time,when you and your son feel like it, working on songs and colors and lots of discussions about everything around him and he'll come around.
Good Luck with everything!
M. B.

My son was tested for kindergarten by a teacher like that. I was glad to read the encouraging responses you received from the other mom's, especially the ones that were teachers. They seem to understand that the main service a teacher provides is encouragement, not judgmental attitudes. Do me a favor and do not allow educated tyrants to discourage you. For some reason, in their confusion, they seem to think this is their job.

Teachers can be intimidating and they can be very wrong. After my son was tested, the teacher told me he could not even identify any animals. I knew he could not only identify them, he could probably tell you what continent they were from. I asked her how she tested him for this. All she did was, without any pictures or images, instruct him to "name" as many animals as he could until she told him to stop. I told her, "The last time he "named" an animal, was a year ago when he got his new puppy. He "named" it Bodie. This so-called teacher did not even make an attempt to assertain whether or not a 5 year old could make sense of her inadequate instructions. She simply lept to the judgment that my son was ignorant.

My son had both wonderful and aweful teachers over the years. I don't blame most teachers. Their training is totally inadequate for them to understand how to diagnose the educational needs of their students. They are basically only taught to give instruction, not to understand how children learn. Most good teachers are only good because they have a natural talent, not because the universities provide adequate training, guidance, and screening. Then, the government's ivory tower programs put so many demands upon them for more and more paper work, they have little of themselves left to give their students.

I love teaching, but my heart goes out to everyone struggling to teach in our schools today. My heart goes out even more to the poor children struggling under the tyranny of disappointed and overburdened teachers.

If you find that your son continues to have a problem focussing his attention that does not improve with maturation, the most beneficail (and completely natural) therapy I found for my son was the brain integration therapy, www.Crossinology.com. He was never diagnosed with a learning difficulty, but he did have very unusual learning styles that made school very difficult for him and some of his teachers. Teachers who understood his learning style had a great time with him and he was head of his class with them. Others wanted me to medicate him for depression and wanted to blame him or me for his failures. Once I learned about brain itegration therapy and he got through that program, I understood that his 'learning style' was his way of compensating for learning difficulties that school don't know how to diagnose effectively.

So, always be encouraged. There are good answers and solutions out there. Don't let limitted and judgmental teachers get you down. They are having a hard life, but you don't have to let them make your life hard.

S.,
I don't know how old you all are here, but people my age never went to Preschool, and I was reading at a 5th grade level by 2nd grade. I guess my point is that while Preschool does give them a head start in Public School, don't let them make you feel inadequate because your son didn't go.
There are PLENTY of programs you can purchase that will help your son with Kindergarten level entry. And as many many Moms' here pointed out, boys often are not as school ready because of the typical developmental delays, also some people don't test well.

Good for you SAHM, do what you know is right for your son.

Hi S.,
What I would recommend is that if you can find the time, I know how it is when you're working and raising a family, try to sit down and do activities with him so he'll learn the various things he needs to know. For instance, when you're dressing him count, one foot, two feet (when putting on his pants and shoes) and so forth. Identify different colors when you're with him in stores or even around the house, identify shapes and so forth. Another thing is sing with him the alphabet. They also have some great c.d.s for kids in the childrens clothes area at Wal-Mart. There's also some great websites that you can allow him to play on that'll teach him things too like nick jr., disney, noggin, freeschool, and many others. You can also download papers that you can do with him so you can kind of homeschool him to help him get ready. I know this sounds like a lot but to be honest it's really not if you make it part of your everyday routine with him. These are various things I've done for my kids and have found really has helped. There's also parent teacher stores that you can go to, to pick up good things to use to help your kids learn yet still have fun.
Good-luck!

Hi. Don't be too hard on yourself. I have 3 boys. My oldest went to preschool and knew quite a bit going into K and did well. However, my middle child I didn't have as much time for teaching and he wasn't in preschool so he went to school not knowing all that much. He did just fine in K and he's in 1st grade now and has matured and is making excellent grades. He has caught up to and exceeded many of the standards of 1st grade. I should mention that my oldest is one of the oldest in the class and my middle child is a younger one. I think that has a lot to do with the difference in their progression. Goodluck with Kindergarten.

My son went to summer school right before he went to kindergarten. I'd check with the school to see if that is offered in your area. Ours was only a month long, in the mornings, and Parks and Rec offer discounted summer camps that the children can go to every day after class. Good luck!

Starting kindergarten is a tricky business. Each school, teacher, parent, and child has a different expectation. You might try talking to the kindergarten teacher. Find out what her expectations are. If you know your son need help with focus, ask for things you can do between now and then that would work on his focus. If the teacher expects him to know colors, letters, words, whatever, ask the teacher how to best prepare him. He may not meet expectations on the first day, but he'll be OK. "Struggling" which is code for having to work hard, is not a bad thing. Good luck and remember, you are your child's best advocate.

Hi S.,

My son is in kindergarden this year and he also did not go to pre-school. He would not sit still long enough for me to teach him anything. He learned how to write his name in August last year right before school started. He has done an amazing job at school, and his teacher has just been impressed with how much progress he has shown through the year. He can now read some, take spelling test, and addition is his favorite, We had the option of sending him to summer school last year for a 2 week session, but, I just wanted him to be a kid and have fun, so we chose not to send him. The other thing that was probably good was he has a male teacher. Don't worry kids are like sponges, they absorb more than you know!

I wouldn't worry about it. I get critisized all the time and given funny looks by Drs and such b/c my son doesn't go to daycare b/c i am a SAHM. Don't worry once he gets into school he will catch up!

M.

I agree with all the wonderful moms here that said "don't worry, when he gets to school he WILL catch up".
I went through the same thing with my kids, and now with my granddaughter, too, because I chose to be a SAHM and my kids never went to preschool. I got the same disapproval from other women, which I think was really jealousy rather than disapproval. (Have you ever noticed that rarely do men disapprove of SAHMs ?) Usually the disapproval comes from other women who seem to think their way is the only way. Not all women are like this, of course, but why do we let the few make us feel so bad for doing what we believe is right for our children ?
Once the kids get in school, it all evens out. The kids with no preschool catch up very quickly, and those with the "advantage" don't have any advantage at all after a very short time.
Only one of my children did not "catch up" right away, but we later discovered she has dyslexia. Preschool would not have helped her anyway. (She does great, now, by-the-way)
If you are still concerned, the moms on here gave some very good advice about contacting Parents as Teachers. Also, I discovered that my neighborhood grade school has started a one month program in the summer to get children with no preschool experience caught up and ready to start kindergarten in the fall. This is new since my kids went there, and I like what I have heard about it, so I enrolled my granddaughter for the month of June. You might call your local school and ask if they have a similar program. I think they call it "Jumpstart" here.

P.S. the kids with the REAL advantage are the ones who know they are loved, and whose parents spend time with them in their off school hours. Take them places, especially educational places, talk with them, go over homework together, get involved with their school (to the best that your time and ability will allow) offer opportunities for them to be creative. Think of your family as a team, and you'll do fine.

I think that is horrible that kindergartens are so test-oriented now. Kids are supposed to be kids! I do not believe that preschool is necessary, either. We homeschool, but we definitely do not focus on tests and grades - espcially in younger grades. I wish kindergartens could go back to what they used to be. And shame on that lady for making you feel guilty for doing what is best for your son!

K.

It is never to late to begin his training for school. Take time around supper or even during supper. Make learning a game start with easy like the alphabet, move on to his own name and maybe you have a marker board that you can practice writing his name and he can trace over your writing or better yet he can write it under your letters. Read him a story book a day-there are many short easy read (toddler) books out there. Check the library near you or book sales from your local library. Yard sales are great for finding books also. Reading is his best start to school the rest like socializing will come on it's own when he goes to school. But if you have time try taking him to a park where there are kids his age and hey that means there are parents like you-great to meet new people with the same things happening. Read to him as much as you can and he will be great very soon. Let him pick the stories he likes also. Have fun this is a special time for all of you. Both kids can take time with you or who ever stays with them while you are working.

I homescholl my children and my son was pretty stubborn about learning his letters and sounds. Like your son, he didn't have pre-school. I ended up getting him the hooked on phonics for beginners to help him get started. He was able to play games on the computer as well os other fun stuff to learn. I think it took him about 2-3 weeks to get it enough to be where he needed to be for kindergarten but he ended up passing and he is now reading! If you got it for your son now you could probably go through a couple of the series and he would be ahead by the time school starts. Hope this helps.
Good luck!

HOLD HIM BACK!!! I cannot stress enough to not start boys until they are ready. I have one boy that is the oldest in his class and does great and I have one that is the youngest and struggles. If you hold him back he will be more mature and enjoy school when he starts learning. He will not be able to learn if he is still trying to learn to sit still in his chair. They are expected to know so much when they get to school, it sounds like he may be behind before he starts. It is an advantage to your son for him to wait.

Hi S.,
Some children do not do well with "standardized test". doesn't mean they will not do well in school...
Ab

Hi S.,
I had the same issue when my son tested for Kindergarten for the 2006-2007 school year. I still sent him to school. If it was not for him being in class with the other kids we would of never found out that he wasn't behind because he didn't go to preschool...he has a hearing problem. Preschool might get them ready for Kindergarten, but the fact is as long as the child is healthy and attends school everyday he/she will do fine. My son took Kindergarten again this year because he couldn't hear the 1st half of school and then had surgery. He is one of the top students this year.

Remember test don't show everything! You know your son better than anyone else is he ready? Does he want to go to school? If he wants to go then he is ready.

T. :)

Consider waiting until next year and put him in a more academic preschool or daycare. Best to set him up for success early.

If he has a spring-summer birthday let him start school when he is six. Most kids are 5 turning six anyway and that COULD be the problem and not the lack of preschool. My son wrote a mirror image of his name when he was screened for grade K and they said it was totally normal. five years later I ended up home schooling him for dyslexia (little did the district know what the condition was)and after 3 years he is back into school doing well, more focused, organized, calmer and can finally read and understand math. So always go on your instincts because nobody knows your child like you.

Hi, The first thing I would do is always be firm and direct to people that ever seem to be condisending about your children. Your children know when they are being cut down in one way or the other. They just don't know why, nor how to respond. And that alone has a huge impact on thier grades and tests. Next, I would buy some learning work books (found in the toy section) from walmart for under his age group upto his age. And play with him in those books and you will see him excel fast. M.

Get a V-Tech system that you can put on the tv & buy some of the learning material. Work with your children (when your off about an hour) teaching them their colors, numbers ( by sight as well), go & get those tablets at the dollar store with the big lines (beginners) & practice writing their names, get some big jumbo coloring books & work with them & TRUST me your children aren't going to be slow or the talk of the class in a negative way. When we work outside of the home...we don't think to do all of that type of stuff. Don't let that lady bother you but I would bring it to her attention that her demeanor wasn't very polite or positive & maybe she should work on that, so that she doesn't offend another parent! Good luck to you & Be Blessed!

I would suggest working with him during the summer to try to get him ready for school. I'm sure that the school gave you some kind of information on what they expect before school starts. Don't let him know how important it is because then of course he won't want to do it and try to make it fun with games and stuff. When my son was younger I would sing and teach him things in the car while we were driving and it didn't seem like learning to him. Don't stress too much because he'll probably notice - just do the best you can this summer to prepare him.