Help - North Little Rock, AR

You're young with too many kids. No, just kidding. Maybe just overwhelmed perhaps? I would suggest seeking out other sahm for playdates.. Find other women to talk to. Sometimes that helps.

You need help from either a Dr or psycologist so that you can get medication for depression. Good Luck

I am responding to this a bit late but I get to feeling like that too sometimes and when I am down, I know it sounds silly, but I look for positive quotes. Besides a lot in the Bible of course, here are some really good ones.

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
John Quincy Adams

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."
Samuel Johnson

"Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown."
H. Ross Perot

"The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't."
Henry Ward Beecher

"If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius."
Joseph Addison

"A jug fills drop by drop."
Buddha

"How do you do get some many visitors to the site?, I am asked. I reply, by persevering, by not giving up, by sticking to it!"
Catherine Pulsifer

"Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." Marie Curie

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another."
Walter Elliott ..

I use to do that and then I realized the more I stayed in, the worse I feel... you gotta make yourself get out... get involved in what the kids are doing... I envolved myself in Girl Scouts and church and things have gotten a whole lot better...my mind is on helping others instead of just feeling terrible... as for the stress... try walking or going on a bike ride... its helps you both physically and mentally... take notice of the scenery when you are out...

Oh, and I take time for me such as going to ladies night at the pottery place...just being around others helps... you can listen to their whine or you can vent... we are all there...we totally understand...

Hello E..

We all have days where we wonder about life and may not be too thrilled with where we are. EVERYone does, from the lowliest to the greatest. You are not alone. Actually, you are never alone because your Creator who loves you promises never to leave you or forsake you. I heard no mention of God. If you're feeling empty inside, His Holy Spirit may be drawing you to decide to live for Him, accept Him as Savior then make Him Lord of your life. It's very easy to do. I'd be glad to lead you in a prayer if you want to call and talk. My cell number is ###-###-#### or my home is ###-###-#### (we moved up to this area recently : )

Husbands are wonderful, but sometimes not what we wished for when we were dreaming of being married - at least not all the time : ) I just celebrated 40 years of marriage in June. It was not all a bed of roses even though we've loved each other since the age of 16 (married after graduation at 18, baby the next June, baby the next September : ) Relationships must be nurtured, they require work to keep them alive and well. I can guarantee keeping things good so far as relationship with him will help.

Make him feel special. Appreciate everything he does for you and the girls including his work that supports the family. A part of this is my advice so you won't "feel" so depressed and stressed all the time, because you can't/don't "feel" like that unless you're focusing on yourself and your "supposedly" terrible life. Change your focus!

Once you are making him feel better, he will act to make you feel better. Then maybe next time, he'll take the initiative, but even if its you over and over who makes the first move, it will be worth. By the way, love 'feelings' constantly change, refuse to be blown about by 'feelings' and daily thank the Lord for the abiding love between you and your husband.

I know 4 children are a handfull. I had four myself then took over the rearing of 4 grandsugars when they were newborn, 3, 4, and 6, so you know I know. That was 5 years ago. Focus more on them. It's so important to get your thoughts off yourself. Every day, try to think of a way to be a blessing to someone else.

TWO things to do that are SO IMPORTANT
#1 Refuse to think, dwell, on ANY NEGATIVE thoughts. When a negative thought attacks, say out loud, "No, I will not entertain that thought. I choose to think on things that are good and positive." Then willfully think of something pure and lovely to think on. If you can think of nothing else, your children, a smile a stranger gave you, even like a walk in the park - you don't have to go walk, you must only replace the negative thought. This process can become a habit and will make a humongous difference in your life.

#2 Do not SAY negative things. Your Words are creative as we were made in God's image and His Words are creative. When we speak them they go out to perform what we have said. Negativity breeds depression, strife, anxiety, bitterness, self-pity - all bad things. Being positive on the other hand cause you to always be aware of the bright side of life which brings peace, joy, contentment, etc.

Get out of the house if it's only to the back yard with the kids. Play something with them like Red Rover or hide and seek. They'll think wow what's up with Mom? This is FUN!

If you will keep you focus on others, your husband, children, your friends and even the cashier where you buy groceries, and what you can do for them, your life will be much more rewarding than if you are constantly focused on yourself and how miserable a life you're having.

These are all choices you can choose to make and your life will be greatly improved as well as the lives of everyone around you.Plus it's just true that you reap what you sow and if you plant good deeds and kindnesses and love to those around you, it will come all back. And you will know peace instead of stress and joy for that nasty depression.

The biggest choice you'll ever make though is choosing to repent of your sin (you may be 'good', but we ALL have sinned and fall short of God's glory) and accept Jesus, God's beloved son, as Savior. Just ask Him to come and live in your heart. There will still be all those other choices you have to make, but they will be easier every time you make a right one, and He will help you.

If you already know Him, then TRUST Him because He IS still on the throne!

Quit saying you suffer from depression. Quit talking about the negative and start talking about all the blessings you have in life. Do you know how many single moms would LOVE to have a husband to help them and love them? Be grateful and positive and choose to stop being negative. It's just a choice.

Father, in Jesus name I come to You and ask right now on E.'s behalf that Your Holy Spirit will draw her to You. Lord, wrap Your arms of love around E. and let her know that You love her unconditionally and that the price has already been paid for every sin she has or will ever commit. Help her to focus on the good, searching every person and situation to find it. Remind her when she's having a bad day that You are always there and that You sacrificed Your son and our Messiah chose to hang on that cross and die so that E. could have an abundant life - a life full of love and joy and peace and Your blessings and favor. I thank you for Your awesome grace and mercy that abounds to us, Father, and that You love E. so completely. Amen

Be at peace, E., in Jesus' name.
Love in Him, Grami

Hey!!! Been there may be still there and don't want to acknowledge it!!! 25 with 3 children divorced....life just takes a toll sometimes. I had a talk with my sister and she really made me notice that i may walk around somedays and smile but that was really a cover up....children are a handful....and being a wife is also.....try to evaluate what it is that triggers it....once you do that then maybe you can find out where to start. A counselor may help....take care and keep your head up...

I'm not sure when you had your last child but post partum depression is very common in women with multiple pregnancies. With every child the symptoms can be more intense. I have 3 children myself and couldn't for the life of me understand what was wrong with me after the 3rd child. After talking to my Dr. he diagnosed me with post-partum depression and put me on an anti-depressant. The medicine helped me through the rough patch. I took it for 6 months and got through it just fine. I hope you will talk to your Dr. about it. Good luck!

I think your feeling are common for many women in your situation. Being a mom is hard work especially to 4 children. Plus hormones are so active and cause these feelings as well. I felt this way after I had my second child. I wanted to stay in bed all day and would cry in the shower. I was this way for several years until a friend advised me to talk to my doctor.
I never thought I would want to take a pill to help me, but she put me on a low dose pill and I feel so much better.

Do talk to a doctor about how you are feeling. It is common, but it isn't healthy for you or your family.

Make yourself get out of the house and spend time with some other moms. That helped me, too.

I pray that you start feeling better soon. I was right where you are and I know the hopelessness you are feeling.

Having a large family like that can sometimes be overwhelming. I have three children,I'm married, and I'm a stay at home mom, and I get overwhelmed at times as well. We have a lot of responsibility on our hands. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love being a mom and I love my husband very much, but everyone needs a break sometimes.
What my husband and I do is, every week or every other week I either go with friends or I take my older child and we have a girls' night. We go shopping or to the movies, and eat out. You can not imagine how this does wonders. I personally think I need to get out just to be around other adult conversation. And my husband watches the children while I go. Also, my husband and I try to go at least once a month and have a date night. Everyone needs this. This past weekend we tried something different. I took all of our girls' out to eat and my husband and son went ride four-wheelers and hung out with friends. I think having a large family you just have to be creative.

Last night after my husband got home from work, instead of going inside, we grilled hamburgers, the kids played outside on their swingset and in the yard, and my husband and I just chilled out, grilled burgers, and I peeled potatoes to make homemade french fries, while visiting with my husband.

Also, take a walk. This helps as well. I'm not sure of the ages of your children, but if they're little take a stroller and go out and enjoy the weather. Late in the evening, when it's cooler.

I hope this all helps. Take care. And if you need someone to talk to, I will be there. STAY STRONG!!!!

Sincerely,
A.
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And I know it's so easy to just stay home and stay inside, but you have to fight depression. Go outside, make yourself! Remember you have a family who loves you and needs you, and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF!

Do something for yourself, go get a pedicure! If moneys tight, round up all your girls' and do pedicures for each other at home.

I had got to a point that I was feeling kinda down myself and I went to my doctor and they have many things they can give you to help, but most importantly is you have to have to be strong, and fight it!!!

Also friends help, talk to them. Everyone gets down sometimes. It's only natural.

What do you do for yourself? You are a mother and a wife. Do you read books, gardening, or crafts?
Get out of the house and do something for you. Play kick ball or bubbles with your children. You need to find yourself before you totally lose yourself. I have 2 children and a husband and I have been where you are. It is easy to find yourself lost in your role as mother and wife and feel completely lost to yourself as a woman and a person. So do something that goes against what you normally do. Even for 5 minutes and be different. And over time with Gods help you will start to feel better.

Don't feel like you're all alone in this because i feel the same way. I have 3 children and a husband myself, and my husband is int he music business and i am at home for months at a time by myself with the kids too. I have feelings someties like i am getting no where in life and that i stress and am depressed a lot myself. I really don't like to go anywhere either unless it is taking my kids some where or going to pay the bills or shopping for the family or for the house. I got together with my cousin and sometimes with some ladies that i used to work with and we get together and let our kids play at mcdonalds, chuck-e-cheese, and at our houses and we just sitr down and talk about our problems and get advice from each other and it helped out alot because i finally realized that i am not the only woman on earth with those feelings. It feels great to talk about it with another woman that understands or can relate to you or your situation. They give me advice and i give them advice also andit helps us all out. In order for you to want to go places you have to make yourself do it until you get used to it just like i did. We just have like one or more nights a week that we do this and it is very helping especially in our situations because i used to get lonely with my husband out of town a lot and with my kids at school so i found things for me to do around the house and close to their schools so that i can not think so much about being by myself and i also got over going places with my childrten when i am alone because i am scared that someone might try to do something to me like try to rob me or take my car or something. That scares me to death so i would rather go places by myself so that i can feel comfortable using my pepper spray without worrying about getting it in my kids eyes or mouth. I have a lot of fears and thehy worry me a lot but you have to learn not to stress you that you have no control over and not to let things depress you that you have no control over. If you have control over it and it is stressing you than it's always best to work it out so that it doesn't dtress or depress you or even remove them things from your life so that you can live a healthy life because stress and depression is so not healthy for a person, and all doctors do is give you all of these medications to dope you up and make you forget about them but that is not healthy either. I hope my advice so far has helped you in any way possible. Have a nice day!

RUN, don't walk to the doctor. have a complete check-up, something is low or missing. good chance it is easliy fixed. then get a life, get involved and be a woman/person besides a wife and mother. go for walks with and without the kids, work in the yard, anything to get outside in the sunshine and fresh air. wide open spaces make a big differences. a little effort of your part and you will be on top of world. sk

I am also a SAHM and completely relate to how you are feeling. Some days I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin and others I just want to cry all day (sometimes I do). My mom and husband always tell me to get out of the house and get some sun. When I started making a point to go somewhere outside of my own yard at least once a week, I started feeling better. Just getting out in the sun helps a lot. My suggestion is go outside with your kids. Play catch, go for a walk or kick the ball around the yard. Just get some activity going that will get you all moving. See if you can find a mom and me program in your town that will let you have some "adult time" with other moms in your area without having to find a sitter for the kids. If this doesn't work, then definately consult a doctor. I hope you get to feeling better.
J.

E., Go to your Doctor (GP or OB/GYN) ASAP and discuss this with him/her immediately. Have blood tests run to rule out any physical problems. It sounds like you may be depressed and could use therapy or medication. Please do not take this situation lightly and seek help soon.

Hi E.,

I can identify with your feelings of depression and stress. I am a mother of a special needs child and am bipolar. My life right now is nothing but stress.

That's why I must advise you to seek mental health help as soon as possible. IMO you might be suffering from clinical depression which can be treated with meds. I'd recommend going to your pcp first and have him refer a good psychiatrist that can prescribe and regulate your meds.

It's extremely important that you seek mental health care now before you reach the bottom.

Good luck...feel free to pm me at any time.

W. Q

E., you might feel that way because you're entire life is made up of your kids and husband. I've had a great therapist for years cause I did the same thing. She emphasized to me that a balanced, happy life includes several focuses in your life: spiritual, physical, emotional, social. You need to carve out some time for YOURSELF. Pick one thing you like to do---go to the gym, go to church, take a walk...whatever...and schedule a time periodically to do it! You won't believe how much better it will may you feel to have some 'me' time. It doesn't have to cost a lot...or anything. Depending on your likes...I have found that things like ...going to the quiet library, picking up as book or magazine and spending an hour to reading; taking a walk (depending on the weather where you are). Sometimes I just walk thru Walmart or Target...never buy anything...I just go alone and walk around and enjoy looking. Of course, you may need something more than this, like antidepressants, but I would start here and see if it helps. Good luck

You've already gotten some good advice, but I feel the need to emphasize a few things. It is common to feel this way on occasion when you a busy mom of many kids. Feeling unappreciated, exhausted, overwhelmed - these are normal feelings (important feelings, mind you, but to be expected).

However, never getting up, never leaving the house, feeling depressed and stressed all the time - these are NOT feelings to be left alone and should be addressed by a mental health provider immediately.

Let me emphasize that this level of depression can lead to horrible endings. Best case: your kids grow up with a mom who has disengaged and left them to fend for themselves and they will need to heal those wounds as adults. Worst case: this is more severe than you can recognize and you/your kids end up like that poor family in Texas where the mother drown all of her children because she and everyone around her didn't take her feelings seriously. I know you do not want either of these endings (nor any of the ones that may be in between) so please seek help TODAY.

Seeking help may be even more overwhelming than living this way, but it is the only way. It is the best thing to do. It is the responsible thing to do. It is the loving thing to do (for you AND for your children).

Get help today.

We all feel stressed and depressed from time to time, but you said you feel that way all the time, which possibly indicates something deeper. How long have you felt this way? Has something happened or is it just the hustle and bustle of every day life that has you down. I don't know what all you have tried, but the first thing I suggest is prayer -- pray and ask God to give you some strength and energy and patience. I don't know about anyone else, but typically if my house is cluttered or dirty, that causes immediate stress. If this is the case for you, then you turn on your radio, get the kids to help you clean the house. You dance and clean and have fun all at the same time. What are your eating habits like? Try to drink as much water as you can and eat a lot of fruits and veggies and exercise (dancing and cleaning are forms of exercise). Once you have the house decent, you're eating right and exercising, you'll have more energy to enjoy your children, your husband and yourself!!! DOn't forget about yourself. It's hard to find time to yourself, but you better find it - whether it's waking up 20 minutes before everyone else to read, drink coffee, pray, meditate or take a walk or whether it's locking yourself in the bathroom for a nice bubble bath with candles. You have to learn to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. Please keep up posted.

E., have you had your hormone levels checked? What about your diet? Do you consume alot of refined sugar? What about caffeine? Are you a smoker? Do you get regular exercise? You may be suffering from a chemical imbalance. What kind of support system do you have--i.e. family, friends, church? Take an honest look at your life. Is there unresolved anger? What are or were your goals? Remember, we are as happy as we choose to be. After ruling out medical issues, look on the bright side of everything--there's always a bright side. Decide to take control of your feelings instead of your feelings controling you. There are many ways to handle stress, but few realize the role diet plays in stress management. I strongly suggest that you start there and take an honest look at your diet and mental attitude the two are closely linked.

About me: I am a 64-yr-old mother of 5, grandmother of 11, a vegetarian of 30+ yrs in excellent health. I'm praying for you.

It sounds to me like you've lost YOU. Do you do anything not related to being a mother? Volunteer work? Community theatre? Choir practice? Bowling league? Anything? I think at least once a month, perhaps more, you must leave the kids with the dad and do something for the evening. It sounds like you are at the end of your rope.

Straight up, you are tired of your kids and you need a break. Do you have friends outside the home? Leave your kids at home with dh and take a spa weekend.

E., you need to get out girl! Family is so very important but if you aren't ok then nothing is going to funtion as well as it should. If all of your kids are in school then you need to find a job, a hobby, a ministry or someplace to volunteer. If all of your kids aren't in school then take advantage of a mom's day out program or enroll them at the YMCA or a church that gives you some personal time. Believe me, there is more to you than a wife and mom...you can find what that is and still be a great wife and mom....good luck...R

You've received heaps of good advice.
Read Penny P's post again.
I agree with her 100%.

Sounds like a bit of hormonal imbalence in their mixed with exhaustion and perhaps not enough good nutrition.

Please let us know what you decide to do and we'll be praying for you.

Hang on!!

Many blessings,
A.

you didn't really give much to go on. do you work? do you have marriage problems???

Have you tried a Natural Balancing Cream? I use Arbonne's Prolief it helped me and lots of others that I know! Let me know if you would like more information.

B. Grant
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Girl, you are stressed because of those 4 kids!!! I know, I have 3 boys, ages 13,11, and 3!! you need to speak to your Dr. about depression. I have gone through the same thing and it is scary. I have been taking an antidepressiant for a while now and life is good. It will pull you out of the fog you are living in and give you energy to play with those kids and enjoy the little things that you are missing out on. those kids will be grown and out of the house before you know it and you will have no memories and their memories will be of you on the couch. I wish you only the best and hope you will enjoy being a mom again!!!

Do you belong to a church? If not I suggest that that be a goal for you and your family. I was in your position not all that long ago myself. I too have four kids and I was missing all the wonderful blessings because I was so caught up in my own feelings. I called our church and found out about a group we had called MOMS. It offered child care while I took the class and I found some incredible ladies who are now some of my best friends. I know it is hard, but you need to get up and set a goal and then everyday work to achieve that goal. YOu will get through this. You are just going to need to pray and leave it in Gods hands.

God Bless you and your family.

S.

Raising 4 kids is depressing,lol. I am having my 4th in September and they are all under the age of 5 but thankfully the two older ones will be in school all day pre k and kindergarden. I think that will help maybe you could find some mommy time by puttign them in a free drop off day care for a couple of hours a week and do something for yourself. They usually offer them through your health deptartment or you can find out info there. JOin a mommies group and get out of the house with them. There is more to life than staying at hoem weith your kids get out and do some stuff you will feel better seeign sunshine =) good luck if this doesnt work go to the doctor and discuss options with them.

If you don't know why you are feeling bad, see a doctor and consider taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication, for your family's sake as well as your own. It can really help.
Personally, I would be depressed if I were 28 with 4 kids, because I would feel I never had enough time to myself, or for just myself and my husband. A therapist might be able to help with these kind of issues if they are related to your feelings.

Wow! I have 2 kids and feel this way a lot, so I can't imagine having 4! When I feel depressed and stressed out a lot, my husband helps me by giving me a little time to myself. Even if it's just an hour or two to get out of the house and take a walk, do some shopping, or have a quiet cup of coffee somewhere with a friend.
Date nights with my husband also seem to help. Every once in a while one of our parents volunteer to watch the kids while we go out to dinner together.
Even though you don't feel like going anywhere, I think you need to force yourself to get up, get dressed, and get out. Sometimes when I feel that way, it makes me feel better to get somewhat dressed up, spend a little time on my hair and makeup and GET OUT of the house. I know its hard to get out with the kids, but maybe you know a friend who can help you?
I would reccomend letting your doctor know whats going on, and if you go to church, talking with your pastor.
Also, supplements help me a lot.
Are you taking a good multi-vitamin? A B-complex would help too, as would taking a fish oil supplement. These all help with mood and energy levels, and are a lot safer than starting out with drugs!
Okay .. I will stop rambling.. hope some of this helps!

Well, it seems pretty obvious. As much as you love your kids, four will keep you very busy and focused on everything but yourself. You need time for YOU!

Don't medicate this away. There are ways to structure things to rebalance your life and enjoy it so much more. Try talking to a counselor and venting some of your stress, getting some tips, and learning how to take care of you.

Good luck!
L.

no matter how hard it is for you, you do need me time for your self. i am bi-polar. and i know for a fact the more you hybernate your self the worse you will feel inside. my opinion, take one day a week for you. go to the mall and walk around. if you like to play bingo go do that. make a list of things you would like to do yourself. then once a week pick at least one thing out and go do it. dont esitate. it will work out for you and you will start feeling some better. and maybe make some basic changes. such as get your hair and nails done. i love that cause i am being pampered and then i feel good inside. and there are groups for depression and councelers. it does help. they can tell you things about you that you havent thought of. cause they are on the outside of the picture in your life and you are on the inside and it is hard to think clearly when your mind is clouded up. also, write in a journal your thoughts, and feelings, what you might think to why you might feel that way, what happened. and what causes you to feel more depressed at times then other times.
now for you and your kids, spend one day either going to the park, playing games, etc with the kids. have short and basic talks with them about them like what they like to do what they like, etc.
and take a day just for you and hubby, going out to eat or what ever the two of you like to do and see if someone will watch your kids for a few hours.
also think about joining curves fittness center or another one you may like and go two to three times a week. it helps release alot of tention and stress.
i do hope and pray this will help you.
bless you and may things work out for you, C.

You're at the point where your depression is preventing you from functioning. Make and appoiontment with a psychitarist - anti-depressant medication may be what you need.
It did wonders for my husband.

have you considered seeing a therapist. I dealt with depression while I was in college and seeing a therapist really helped. I was also put on an antidepressant, but some people show good improvement with just therapy.

It took me a while to get over the idea of seeing a therapist. I thought it meant I was crazy and I didn't really like the idea of that. But the fact is that I needed help at that time. I wasn't functioning, and I was becoming a danger to myself. Once I started getting help, life got so much better. Now I know what signs to look for, and I know when to ask for help before it gets too bad. So I'm really glad I found a therapist.

My advice...live, love and laugh!!! Life is short. You may need to be checked out by a docter, but just being a mom is VERY stressful and you need to find some friends and get out of that house...You should check out a great mom's group here in Tulsa. It is a blessing to me. Yahoo Groups Tulsametromoms2. We'd LOVE to have ya'

J.