How Did You Get Your Children to Share a Room?

My girls are a little more than 2 years apart. I put them together when the baby was about 8 months. My toddler slept in a big girls bed and the baby went in the crib. We would put the baby down 30 min or so before the toddler. Sometimes it went perfectly and other times not. But we just let them work it out. Now the baby is 19 months and my toddler will be 4 next month, and they do very well together. The baby is still in the crib and we still put her down first but sometimes she waits up for her sister to come to bed before falling asleep, and my older daughter sometimes asks to go to bed at the same time as her sister (she doesn't think we know that they play for a while before finally going to sleep). Either way, it works out and they enjoy each others company.

My girls are now 8 & 10 and have shared a room since we moved the younger one out of her cradle just like you want to do. The younger one has FINALLY outgrown her night terrors which she had several times a night, several times a week if you can imagine! The crazy part is, the older one, to this day, wakes at NOTHING! And never the screaming that would wake the dead that her sister did for all these years! It's uncanny what they can sleep through but she's no worse for wear, they both sleep very soundly now and often enjoy the shared room. Just wait till you have found them having fallen asleep together in the same bed holding hands like I did one night a few years ago. OMG - that photograph is one of my all time favorites and no, the flash on the camera didn't wake either of them.

Hi K.,

We just went through this! What works for us now is that we put the baby to bed first and our toddler starts her bedtime in our bed. She gets to watch one 15 minute program and then we put on soft music. Once the baby is sound asleep, we move our toddler to the room. Most of the time she is also sound asleep when we carry her to the room.

We tried putting them down at the same time...it just doesn't work yet. Our baby won't settle down with her big sister in the room. And, our talkative toddler can't seem to quiet down!

Eventually, we'll start putting them down together. But, for now, this method works perfectly and bedtime is very consistent and smooth!

Oh--and about the door. I do close it and I use a video monitor.

Hope this helps!

We put our two kids together when they were one and three; however, my son had his own crib in his own room since he was three months (both our kids tended to sleep better in their own rooms as it was quieter). Even at the time we put them together, we had to work to set up a routine. We read 3-5 stories and sing 3-4 songs to our kids before they go to bed. In the beginning, we had to vary the bedtimes and start our one year old off first. When he was asleep, we could put our daughter into bed. We usually started our daughter (3) off in our room, or in another room for the first half hour, then moved her to her bed. It does take some work, but I think it's been worth it. My kids still share a room, 18 months later, and they love it. There are still times, however, that we have to put our daughter in our room for a few minutes if our son is extra noisy. =0)
Good luck and congrats on the new babe. =0)
L.

I think it depends on the child. Some have no problem with it, and some do.

For me, we all co-sleep in our bedroom, with a futon mattress on our floor, my son in the crib, and my daughter likes to sleep with us in our room (at night only). When my son wakes during the night, I get him, co-sleep with him on the floor futon, and he's fine with my daughter there too. BUT, he did go through a phase where he DID NOT want to sleep with his sister. So that was respected and we didn't force him. We explained to my daughter. It was fine. Now though, it's no problem.

Since your eldest is a toddler, I would speak to her about it first. Don't just "Force" it on her. Some kids don't sleep well with a noisy/waking/crying little sibling in the same room as them. Main thing being, you want the children to have a good night's sleep. You don't want one child keeping other awake. That is no fun.

As for what time to put them to bed, we would put my son to bed first... once he fell asleep, then I would enter the room and put my daughter to sleep. As they got older, then I and my kids ALL go to bed at the same time. My son and daughter LOVE sleeping with each other...now. It wasn't always like that. So, keep in mind, that "phases" may ebb and flow... and it's something they may like or not. But in either scenario... my kids like for me to be with them as they fell asleep. Thus, co-sleeping. But since that is not your situation, then that is one less "transition" you have to deal with.

It will be a "transition" no matter what. Just try it. See how it goes perhaps. BUT if it doesn't work.. then don't force it. Nothing is harder than for a young child and baby not being able to sleep because of each other. My son went through a "phase" where he would kick and push my daughter out of his way while they slept & tell my daughter to go away... but my daughter was okay about it because she said "it's okay Mommy, he's my little brother, I don't mind...." But fortunately, he passed this phase.

ALSO, we have ALWAYS had a routine pre-bedtime. ALWAYS. Our kids know it like the back of their hand. There is no protesting about it. We are not hard-handed about it...but they KNOW their bedtime routine like being on auto-pilot. This helps any child. Keep consistent about it. It will then be less of a struggle... and keep it up, despite the NORMAL developmental changes they go through.

If you can have your kids in their own room, I would do that. If you don't have to move your baby out of your room yet...then wait. My son is still in his crib, in our room, and sleeps well there, and he is 28 months old. We have no rush about getting him out. And at night, we all co-sleep anyway. My son, loves his crib though, and is consistent in it, and does not try to climb out or anything.

Being that your baby is only 5 months old.... YOU will STILL be needing to wake for baby, feed/nurse the baby, get up for any night wakings or cryings etc. It should not be a "burden" for your Toddler. And your Toddler is sleeping well at this point. That is great. If you don't have to stir the pot, yet... then I would wait. A 5 month old baby is still young... and you'd still have to have a baby-monitor or listen for the baby whenever she wakes. She is still a young baby... you will then have to get up, go to their room, get the baby BEFORE it wakes your toddler, feed/nurse baby, put her back in the room, get her back to sleep (or not) and deal with all of that. A baby this age, is going to guarantee have MANY more phases and night-time wakings and growth spurts and teething episodes yet to come. So, is this "convenient" for your Toddler, who is sleeping well now, and needs sleep?

Get a crib, put in it your room, and baby will be more reachable for you there... while not disturbing your Toddler. Then by the time you CAN move your youngest into the "same" room as your eldest... the age-phases and maturity of your eldest, will perhaps be more conducive to the combing of them into 1 room.

Good luck,
Susan

Hi K.,

I'm the mom of 3 and one on the way. I like my babies right beside me for at least a year or more. Does the crib fit in your room? I would probably choose to shut the cats in a separate area and leave the doors open to the kids. I like for them all be be able to get to me quick or me to them! All the best!

Smiles,
Steph

I have all 3 ( almost all 4 ) of my children sharing a room to sleep in. they really prefer not sleeping alone. I have an 8 a 6 a 3 and a 1 year old. The 3 older ones go to bed at the same time. 8:30.

With my older two we started by having the same toddler beds next to each other. We made a big deal about sleeping in that room together ( like mommy and daddy sleep in their room together ) but mine were 3.5 and 18 months. so they understood what I was saying. we got new bedding as well. they picked out the design.

then it took a few months to sit in between the little beds and hold hands and sing to them. it takes some time until they settled down and fell asleep.

When they wake - we walked them back into their little beds.
again and again and again.

Now they just go to bed. No questions asked. The third one could not wait until she could finally move into the "kids bedroom" at about 2 years of age and my youngest is now almost ready to do the same. If you ask my oldest if he wants to sleep in a different room by himself, he looks at you with bewildered eyes - "why would I want to do that??"

Up until the kids turn 2 they sleep in our bed. we have a toddler bed next to ours and now we move the "baby" there once she is asleep. She almost sleeps thru the night now...in a few weeks we will move the bed in with the other kids.

it worked for us since we only have 2 rooms for 4 children. one to sleep in and one to play in.
They never thought of the rooms as just theirs.

Maybe you could involve your oldest in picking out new sheets for her little sibling so it will match the room? or get both of them pretty new ones? Or even just a new pillow cover. Or get something like glowing stars on the ceiling that they can talk about when they are put to bed?
we always listen to music to fall asleep. maybe she could pick out a new cd of lullabys?

If your baby needs more time to fall deeply asleep - read one of two books to the older one in the living room before you put her down as well. That will make her feel special.

Lock the cats into the laundry room ( thats what we had to do with the dogs :) they will be fine.

We leave the bedroom door open and the light in the bathroom on. it gives enough light to barely see but still be definitely dark.

about the knocking...you might find that when our older one has company she might not need to come see you anymore. And babies start sleeping deeper they don't even wake with normal noises.

Just go for it!
You will see it is going to be much easier than you think!
good luck!!!
:)
-c

My two daughters share a room- 5 and 9 months. I explained to my daughter when she was 4 1/2 how this was going to work and since she was older she understood (that she needed to be quiet, can't put anything in the crib, etc.) My 2 1/2 year old son has had to share a room with them at times and it has been fine too- he is a bit more likely to mess around but really only if the older one is encouraging him. I think it has worked out fine. And my girls started sharing when my baby was 3 months old. I would suggest a sound spa for all the small noises- helps out with that. If your daughter wakes before your baby you may want to teach her to open the door.

Bedtimes: if they have a hard time going to bed in the same room stagger the bedtimes or if they naturally need to be staggered, otherwise you can do the same time- may have to see what works. Currently, my baby goes to bed at 6:30 and my 5 year old goes to bed at 7- just because of when they need to go to bed. But, the nights they both go to bed at 7 work out too.

I keep the door closed.

I usually don't do naps in the same room, if it is a day my 5 year old needs a nap.

Good luck! They will do fine.

My children share a room. They are 2 years and 4 months apart in age. And we began transitioning baby at about the same time that you are looking into this. It has worked out very well, and my eldest actually likes sleeping with her baby brother (now 18 months). I think they keep each other company. Sometimes he has cried and woken her up and sometimes she has cried and woken him up. But generally they tune each other out. I'm surprised sometimes at how one can stay conked out while the other wakes up crying.

The way we did it is we have a pack n play in both our bedroom and the kids room. We put baby to sleep in the kid room and when he woke up to nurse I brought him into our room and he finished the night in the pack n play in our room. Then as he got a little older I'd start putting him back into the kid room instead of leaving him in ours. Eventually he spent the whole night in the kid room night after night. My kids have the same bedtime. When my son was a baby I don't remember how we worked it out. Somehow it just worked. I don't know if we put her to sleep first or him or what. I keep the door partially open.

My children were 1 and 4 when we moved them in together. I've always put the younger one down 1/2 hour before the older. My husband is rarely home at bedtime, so I had to find a way to entertain the older one during this time. Now the older one reads during that time, but before I'd set him up with a video or have him come in for story time and sit quietly and look at books. We never had a problem with one waking the other and they love being together. Have you considered a gate at the door rather than closing it?

Hi K.,
I just put my daughter in there with my son and they adjusted....they are 16 months apart and she had colic. To this day he is a very sound sleeper!You didnt mention how old your toddler is, but I think putting your infant together with your toddler will foster more flexibility in both of your children, and I would just experiment with a routine that would work well for both of them, to keep you from becoming too exhausted and crazy. good luck!

I have 2 boys, 15 mos apart, and we have had them in the same room since the baby was about 5 months old (we only had 2 bedrooms at the time, so I didn't have the option to give him his own room even if I wanted to). First, I want to tell you, because getting 2 babies to sleep in the same room was a new experience for me, I was very nervous about how it would all work out. I did a lot of thinking and evaluating and planning, and mostly I worried. But it all worked out just fine. Kids are so resilient. It was absolutely no big deal for them.

I didn't want my older son to be disturbed with night wakings or feedings, so I waited until the baby was consistently sleeping through the night and no longer needed feedings through the night. That was about 5 months old, and my older son was 20 months old. My older son's bedtime was 7pm, so I gradually worked during the previous months to get the baby's bedtime to be the same time. We included the baby in the bedtime routine (bath, brushing teeth, book, song, etc.) from very early on and we read our book together on the couch so the whole family could participate in the bedtime routine. We talked about the transition as an exciting new chapter in our lives(appropriate to their ages), and when the time came, that was it!

We keep the door closed, always have. I would just keep doing what you are doing, unless you think your daughter's knocking on the door will disturb the baby. You could let her keep some toys in her bed to play with until you come in to get her up for the day. But for any changes in the normal routine, I would try to get that taken care of before the baby goes into her room, so you're not dealing with both things at once.

I'm sure the transition will happen very smoothly. You know your kids best, so you are best qualfied to figure out how to guide them through this. My boys love sharing a room (for now, at least!) and I'm sure your girls will, too!

We had the same situation. The younger girl was pretty loud at night, and we hesitated putting her into the same room as big sister until she was one. We shouldn't have worried. My big girl could sleep through a tornado, and she was never disturbed. We made a big deal out of making a "princess suite" and asked my big girl how we should decorate the room. We painted it and got new curtains, bedding, etc so she was really excited. We moved them both in to the "new room" at the same time. Bedtime was two separate bedtimes for a while, but now they are coordinated and both go to bed at 7:30, whether anybody had a nap or not. We leave the door open, and miraculously, they both stay in their beds and go to sleep. Just make it fun and involve your older child in how to set up the room, closet, etc. If you are comfortable with it, it will make it easier for your kids.

My two started sharing a room when my youngest was about 7 months old I think. At the time they were both in cribs as they are 18 months apart in age but we ended up having it easy because we had an extended cross country road trip so they were both in pack and plays in hotel rooms to sleep and got used to each other in the same room, so when we got home we just put them in the same room and they were fine. Now they are 3 1/2 and 2 and both with one in a big bed and one about to get one and doing fine.

We coordinated bed time at first by putting the younger one to bed about 30 minutes before the older one, but now they go up to bed together at the same time and love it.

I should add that we also decided to go ahead and put her in the same room as our older child because she self weaned around that time as well and would not go back. If she had still been nursing at night I would have kept her in our room where she was before.

we were very unsure how to do this also. Originally we thought we would transition our baby to his crib when he outgrew the bassinet, but that happened when he was only 2 months old. Our 3 yo is not a great sleeper and he was still up for feedings at night at that time, so we opted to set up the pack n play in our den for the short-term.

When he was 6 months old, we went on vacation and figured, since we had all been sleeping inone room for 2 weeks, that when we got back home, we'd just put them together then. It was disastrous. He woke up our 3 yo many times and after a week of essentially NO sleep for the whole family, we abandoned it. We had already moved the pack n play out and set up a train-table in its place in our den, so then we had to set up the pack n play in our bedroom (this left very little room, but we needed sleep so this is what we had to do). Then when he was 11 months, we went on vacation again. This time, he was sleeping through the night better and our 3 yo was also doing better at sleeping, so when we came home from vacation we put them together in their room to share and it has been succesful this time. A couple nights of adjusting, but otherwise smooth sailing since (its been over a month now).

We have kept the bedtime routine for the toddler the same and just added the baby to the process, letting him hear the story from his crib, etc.

that's our experience, not to say yours will be anything like it, but the key I think was, when it wasn't working to abandon it and try again at a later time.

good luck!

Hi K.,
My boys are 1 and 3 1/2 and share a room. This works really well for us. The older one never has had a problem with the baby coming into his room. It was an adjustment for the bedtime schedule, but I finally figured it out. At first, I put the older one down first and waited until he was fast asleep before putting the baby down. Once the baby got on a more consistent schedule I flipped it. Now, I put the baby down first (7:30) and then the older one (8:00). I was really worried about the baby waking his brother up in the middle of the night with feedings and teething, etc., but that has yet to happen. Let me tell you, that baby can scream!
Anyways, good luck.

I have a 2 year old, and a just-turned-one year old. We put them in the same room when our youngest was about four months. I had a lot of anxiety over it working as well...but honestly it didn't take more than a week for one to sleep thrue the other crying at night. I would say nap times tend to be shorter because they do wake eachother up....but they nap at the same time so I get more done around the house anyway. I was really surprised how easy it was! I would say sooner is better so they get used to it!

We didn't make a big deal out of it and just did it. The baby went to bed first, then his brother. We moved the baby in at about 3 or 4 months. His brother was 2-1/2 and in a regular size bed. Don't over think it or your older daughter will feel your hesitancy and pounce on it.