How Do I Ease the Hurt

D.,
My heart goes out to you. I A. so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you must be going through. Grief is a very personal experience- and how you deal with it and how long is up to you. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to get as much support as you can- and one way to do that is to see a Grief Counselor.

Those that make insensitive comments to you may just not know what to say to make you feel better.. so try to brush off the comments as their way of trying to offer you support but doing it stupidly.

I searched on Google for therapists that offer Loss/Grief Counselling- hope this helps: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/cities/SanAnton...
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/34847.html

God Bless you.
Adla

how heartless can people be.... good grief. hun you need to grieve in your own way. More than likely it will always hurt, but in time the pain will be more bearable... remember the good times... don't beat yourself up because you are grieving, it is normal and natural. find a supposrt group if you can to help you deal with all the emotions you are going through... or just find a good friend that you can talk to... someone who will listen to you and empathize...
God bless

D.,
Your daughter is in safe hands. Do not let the insensitivities of others or their perceptions of your being; have an affect on you now. Not everyone understands the dynamics that occur when a mother loses her baby. Your loss belongs to you,and you have a right as her mother to grieve.A piece of you is missing and she will always be missed by the ones who knew and loved her. People hate to see the sadness because it scares them and they will say what they feel will help you move on quicker. It normally comes in attempt to love you and comfort you, but your tears are of great value. You honor her and you honor your own soul with those tears.They are not shed in vain and allowable.This is your time to grieve.
When the grief is so severe you go back into a fetal position, know that those tears are releases for your tension, and you have every right to have them. Call out to your FATHER who has her and HE will sustain you.You are fragile now so handle that with prayers.You are surrounded by angels who are guiding mother to her heart where your daughter stays forever.After all, that is where love comes from. Nothing now can fix this pain except the knowledge that she is in loving Hands and that you are in loving Hands. Accept your pain and allow your tears to cleanse your soul and your spirit will renew when it needs to. Now is the time to grieve.Seven days is not long enough when women lose their babies. Seven years may keep you in emotional bondage. Accept any support you are offered and know that your Creator is her Creator also and she is safe where she is at. The pain will pass and the healing will occur but now, at this very second, you as her mother has every right to every tear that comes from the eyes that have adored her, your daughter. Okay? I am praying for you and your family. Hold fast, and know that God never abandons and He is faithful.

Im so sorry for your lost.I have two daughters and i can not imagine life without them.I don't think anybody can tell your heart when to stop hurting,to loose somebody so close to your heart,it's just painful.I don't go to church like i should,but I belive shes in gods hands now,and shes ok.You need to be strong for the sake of your kids,and husband.they to lost somebody dear to thier hearts.behind every tear will be a smile.Talk to somebody that always helps,do things with your kids,keep your mind busy and don't spend to much time by your self.sorry again.BE STRONG.......

Only time can heal the pain of such a devastating situation such as this. It is okay for you to cry. Crying helps sometimes, but you must remember that there are other's that need you to be alright and need you too.
I lost my brother 4 yrs. ago. I can think of him out of the blue and still cry and miss him. I only pray that he is at peace. I will never forget him, I have good memories of him and I will cherish them always! (As long as I live).
I could be listening to the radio and one of the songs he liked will come on and I feel sad and miss him still. I still 'talk' to him and it gives me comfort.
I pray you will also find peace. God Bless you and your family.

I am so very sorry about your loss. Your daughter was a special and unique presence in this world and there is NO reason you should stop grieving. People who count days (only 7!) since the funeral are insensitive and hurtful, even if they don't mean to be. I have miscarried 4 but never lost a live birthed child, so I do not presume to know your pain, but I do know that your child is not gone as long as her affect is felt in the world and in people's hearts. I would encourage you to tell people that you need to honor her, that you want to feel her presence and if we could just do that together, talk about her, remember her, ask questions about her, dream of her, then they honor her life as being a fundamental part of your life, then that would be more helpful to you than to "get over her," which frankly is ridiculous. Does that make sense? I think people just aren't aware of that b/c so few people ever know that pain. Just because their life goes on as normal doesn't mean yours does. Yours will go on and in time you will be able to accept it, but you will always miss her. of course you will, you're her mom! you always will be.

Grieve as long as you need to. Find a support group. I will light a candle and say a prayer for your little girl tonite and for your family, too. SHe is not forgotton and she never will be. She is a unique creation and her short life did and does matter.

Bless you,
Umber

when you lose somebody! it's hard i've lost love ones, there memories are still with you,time does ease the pain but the hurt does stay for a while,my children help me a great deal and church has too. maybe you should try that.

good luck!