OK I have a TMI question... I have been married for almost 11 years with 3 kids. I was wondering how many times a week is average for a couple to have sex (married for around the same time). Me and my husband do "the deed" about 3-4 times a week and even then he thinks that's pushing it. He IS NOT a ninfomaniac, we have gone 1-2 weeks without but he is craby. Respectfully I am not looking how to fix him, I am just looking to see what the average. Thanks in advance.
Thank you for all your posts. I see that we are average. I also would be happy with once a month but want to keep him happy. I just think after being together for 14 years and married almost 11 he might get bored. I have been trying to find ways to spice it up. we are only 28yrs. Thanks
You may want to search for this, it has been asked two or more times in the last week or so. And they received lots of answers.
Its never a constant with my husband and i. Sometimes its 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes not even once a week. He works out of town though so my numbers could be scued.
wow. all that time and still 3-4 times a week? ive only been married 2 years and its only like once a month for us...
My husband and I have been married for 10 years, 3 kids and one on the way. I'd say we are intimate about 4 times a week. Sometimes more depending on the circumstances but never usually less. I am not the initiator, LOL, if I could have my way, I'd have sex once a month!! But I want hubby to be happy and so I do my best to give it to him whenever he wants. Take care
we have been married 8 years and have 2 kids. We do it about 3 times a week. I could totally go for more, but our schedules just get so busy
I've been married for 8 years and we have sex about once a week now that he travels during the week. When he was home all the time and wasn't traveling we had sex about 2 times a week. My husband is 33 and his libido had decreased compared to when we were first married and he was in his 20s, so he doesn't seem to want it more often than we do it. I try to never deny him when he wants it, but he doesn't want it all the time so I'm comfortable with saying yes when he wants it. We both have needs and the commitment that comes with marriage is to try to meet each other's needs, whether or not we understand them or need the same thing. We all have needs and will get them met somewhere if they are not getting met in the marriage. His Needs, Her Needs: How to Affair-proof your Marriage is a good book that helped me understand this.
If he wants it more, though, maybe you guys can figure out things to help you have the energy and desire for more sex. When I "do up" and wear sexy underwear and make myself look pretty with makeup and stuff, I feel sexy and want it more.
Men give and recieve love through sex. They want just about as much as they can get, and they are not happy without it. Your husband may be the exception, could not really tell by your post, unless that is what you meant by fix him, that you wanted him to know what the "right" number of times per week is, and most men do feel unloved and crabby if they don't have sex for 1-2 weeks (if they are with you at home with opportuniyt and you are not sick, he is not sick, etc.) If you want to know how your husband feels about sex, then ask him. He will probably tell you how deeply he feels the need to be with you, and that he also gets his feelings hurt by rejection, down to the bone! He will probably also say that it is very important to him that you seem to want to have sex too, and that it bothers him when it seems like your are just doing your job or that you are obligated, but does not bother him enough to turn it down. Sex is very important to him, I would be willing to bet.
I would say that the average man is not getting as much as he wants, and many women could not care less if they ever have sex again. You are also going to find that some couples have a more healthy and roubust sexual relationship and do have sex 3-4 days a week and sometimes more.
The important question is this: If your husband wants more sex, and you want your husband to be happy, why would you not want to make the person who is your primary relationship happy? It does not matter if the person down the street has more or less. It matters that both of you are happy, and if you are really "unhappy" with what makes him happy, then the problem you have is more than how many times a week you have sex! From where I sit (married a few more than 11 years, but I can remember those days...) the person who wants less for any reason other than pain or illness should give the person who wants more what they want. It is called love and acceptance, and men's egos count on sex for both. People who love each other don't really care about "fair" they care about making the person they are married to happy, and compromise is not always mean that you meet somewhere in the middle, I know a lot of men who think that women should spend less time talking to other women, but they do not demand that we do less to make them happy, the compromise is that we accept some of the genuine differences between men and women and find balance and happiness for both partners in the relationship.
I will tell you this, there was a time when I wanted less. I was gatekeeping how much sex he got. It was up to me, and he felt like that was unfair. I got to decide for both of us, and he was not at all happy. I caught a clue a few years ago, and I figured out that if I really loved him, I would want him to have almost anything that would make him that way, and all he wanted was a few minutes of my time, about every other day to show him how much I loved him, and to take the love from him that he was dying to show me. Could not be any more simple than that. I think if you ask most men, all other things being equal, they can put up with a bunch of stuff from us that they don't care for much, as long as they are getting sex, and love, from us.
Ask your husband. If he thinks you understand this about him, he will be happy.
For me, after 21+years, at least every other day...sometimes more.
M.
wow - since our second we only do the deed about once a week!
2-3 times for sure, more if MY hormones are really going nuts :)
Honestly, been married 6 years, once a week and it's an effort to make it happen. We're both always so tired!
Hello fellow mommy!
I havent had sex for like 5 mos, only because Im still a new mom and the vag too a SERIOUS beating! But before that ( Though I wasnt a mommy so I hope this counts) It was like 1 or 2 times a week, sometimes more or less depending. I wish we had it like you! But my hubby works a ton and my libido is like ON or OFF... SUX
We have been married just over 11 years. We just had our third baby. Pregnancy not included in my answer. We will often go a week or more. My hubby is just not as into it as I would like. We try to keep a spark, but it is hard. Between the kids, work, and house work sex becomes another chore for him. If you enjoy it that often, consider youself lucky! If not, talk to him.
they say every 72 hours is normal. We have been married 18 yrs and twice a week for us. Some people only do it once a week or everyother week! your husband it getting way more than normal!!
I have been married for almost 5 years and have two kids. We only have "fun" maybe once a month.
I'd say you are well above the average!!! Good for you guys!!
My husband and I have been together for 23.5 years and we still have sex
5-6 time a week. We have gone through periods that it was less, but it has been related to stress or young children... From time to time we enjoy adding toys and movies to add some fun to our time together. The most important thing to keep communication open between you both. I am grateful that my husband and I can have such an open and honest conversations with each other. You may be only 28, but if you have had children your hormones could be out of whack. If you feel that you don't have the desire that you used too, consider having your hormones checked by a doctor who works with Bio-identical HRT, they are much better at knowing where your levels should be and what if anything might need to be done. Keep in mind that your hormones involve not only estrogen and progesterone, but thyroid and testosterone as well.
We've been married 7yrs (together 11 total) and have 2 kids. We go about 2-3 times a week...sometimes more...sometimes less...but on average that's how often we do. I think that's PLENTY. He doesn't complain (unless we go over a week without it...and even then he just sort of asks if we can soon lol). Wow how often does he want to do it????
Once a week but my husband would like more.
