How Often Do You Have ME Time?

I didn't use to get any (for several years), but it's just really hard when the kids are little.
It's just the stage of life you are in.
It won't ALWAYS be like this.
Now my son's in middle school and I work a 4 day work week.
So I get ME time every Friday.
Sometimes I shop or clean or garden or take a walk at the park or read or see a movie or have a lunch date with Hubby or take a long bubble bath and take a nap.

I guess the 'me' time that I have every night after the kids are sleeping does not really count as 'me' time :( that's depressing. so never. and I might explode. things that you can do that are free: volunteer, I like to do things that make me feel like a good person like picking up trash in the neighborhood and such. research, take a walk/jog/run and listen to music. read in the park or on the porch. pick up a hobby like painting, crafts, sewing, knitting, decorating cakes, baking. These are all things I would do if I had me time.

Everyone needs a break!
After all, they ARE his children too, right? Working moms don't get the luxury of "just" going to work then being "off the clock."

Start small--go get a cup of coffee or tea on a weekend morning. Take an hour. Have a bagel. Take a book. All under $5.
You and your sanity certainly worth that.
This will feel like you have spent a week in the Bahamas! lol
Then work up to an afternoon, an early evening, etc.

of course you need a break. your husband sounds like a great hardworking guy, but it bothers me that you feel guilty (i'm going to assume that feeling 'afraid' is a figure of speech) about asking him to take on the kids from time to time. even a single income provider is still a parent, and just as he can't work 24/7, you can't be the only one to do the kids non-stop.
you won't get much YOU time under your circumstances, not for many years yet. that makes it all the more vital that you are firm and insistent about getting just a little now. a couple of hours a week may be all that you can squeeze out, but don't for a second feel badly about taking them.
they're his kids too. and the one-on-one time is just as important for him as the all-by-yourself time is for you. dads need to bond with their kids that way.
don't ask for a break. look at the schedule and DISCUSS with your husband when the best time is for him to handle things at home. make this part of your regular family routine so it's not a big disruption once a week when you do it.
khairete
S.

My boys are 13 and 10, last summer my oldest was at Boy Scout Camp and my youngest had a sleep over. For the 1st time in 13 years I was completely child free for about 18 hours WOW did that feel great.

Like the others have said, it's a stage in life. Can you get Grandma to watch the kiddos for a couple of hours so you can do something?

M

Two things that REALLY helped me during those years:
I went grocery shopping, ALONE, in the evening, once or twice a week. Just about 45 minutes or an hour away but it was SO worth it.
I had a standing walking date with my BFF most every Saturday morning on a local trail. This was closer to two hours because we'd get coffee after, and if I had a (frequently) nursing infant, then s/he would come along in the stroller.
I seriously think if I hadn't had these small chances to get a break from my house and kids I would have snapped. And I only had three, and they were two and three years apart, not nearly as close as yours. I wish you strength and patience!
ETA: I never felt guilty about leaving the kids with daddy, why should you? They're his kids, right? Yes, our husbands work hard, but so do we, without the luxury of lunch hours or sleeping in.

He's a parent, too. There's no reason he shouldn't be able to watch the kids so you can go to the library or take a coffee to the park or something to get some peaceful time alone.

Do you have family who might want to watch the kids for you for a little while? My MIL will watch our DD if we need some time.

Do the kids have a bedtime? Our DD is in bed by a certain time every night and then I have a couple of hours before my bedtime where I can veg out and read or watch a movie or whatever.

Every Friday night. It's MY night...if I stay home.. I am ignored unless **I** say otherwise...it's "boys night in" for my men - they play games, watch movies but I am NOT to be bothered. PERIOD.

Sorry - C. - but your husband isn't a babysitter - he is their father and your partner...therefore he needs to help you and support you..EVERYONE needs down time..if that means you tell him "Honey, I need a break...I realize you are tired..but I really need a break...I would like to go out on Friday night with the girls..."

You shouldn't feel guilty for needing YOU time...I know it's hard. but really. we started this when I was about to lose my mind...I get it...but it's okay to take time for yourself...

After the kids go to bed, watch a movie, read a book, do something for YOU. Don't try to catch up on whatever it is you didn't get done that day. At least once a week, just take that quiet time after the kids are in bed to relax.

Only at night after my daughter goes to bed, do I have any "me" time. I'm single with no family (every one has passed away), and not much of a friend network, not one that is willing to babysit anyway- and I work. Oh, I get a 30 minute lunch break, but that is usually interrupted... I never get to socialize, because I can't afford a sitter. I'ts been like this for the 5 years I've had my daughter. So, really it seems like I never have REAL "me" time. But, at least I do have a few hours at night of peace and quite :)

Well, my boyfriend works nights. My daughter is with her Dad every Wed night and every other weekend. So, I have every Wed night and every other Friday night alone. Sometimes it feels like TOO much me time.

I work a 9/80 schedule so I get every other Friday off from work. I consider that my ME time. Of course, I get groceries, pick up the house, go to kid's doctor appointments. The point is that I am doing stuff without the kids a good portion of that time....

I'm with ya. I don't feel like I've had "me" time in 19 months.

If i take a break, it's interrupted with questions (where does this go, what do i do now).

If I leave, i feel extreme guilt.

i'm looking forward to actual, quality "me" time in 2016. Ish.

My city runs a program for pregnant moms and moms with babies under a year old called Great Expectations. It was about 2 1/2 hours long once a week. If you had older children they had free child care. We had a public health nurse, a nutritionist, a lactation consultant and all sorts of guest speakers on a wide range of parenting issues. We had a snack and a chance to socialize with other moms. It was a wonderful, free program. The city also operates free mom and me playgroups for toddlers and preschoolers. Do you have such a program in your area? We also have Y Neighbour groups that operate much the same way. They aren't free, but only a few dollars for the childcare, and are great for a moms morning out. Even if your husband is working a lot it is fair to ask him for a regular morning off while he watches the kids. Let him know how much you need it and work with him to fit it in the schedule.

You have to work in "ME TIME" or you'll go crazy and feel like you can't breath. Especially with those ages. Mine right now are 11 and 3 1/2 and pregnant with 3rd and I even need "Me" time. Even if it's having a friend watch them while you run to the store for an hour or two. Don't be afraid to ask hubby for help. Yes he's working hard and long hours to bring in money but he'll understand that you need time away. Things you could do is go to a coffee shop and read a book. My husband has watched the kids while I locked myself in the bathroom and took a long bath with candles and a good book. Don't use your "Me time" to do work unless that's what you enjoy. When I was a single parent after my son would go to bed I would use that time to do some much needed cleaning and watch a show or two but it was because I felt good after it was done. A friend of mine and her husband have a set day and estimated time when she gets to hang out with friends or do anything without the kids. This can't be done with everyone due to work schedules but I'm sure your husband will understand that you need to get away for an hour or two. Oh and there is no right amount of "Me Time" it's based on what you feel you need. If after an hour your ready to go back and good for another month then that's all you needed. If it's an hour a day that you need then that's ok too. Hang in there.

My husband was a police officer yrs ago but has dispatched the past 15 yrs so the hours never really changed. My girls are much older 14 & 8 but I hear you about the "me time". My husband works f/t for the sheriff's dept which has him on 3 rotating shifts & he also works p/t for our local pd dispatching as well so honestly I have time during the day (when I'm not babysitting for a friend, grocery shopping, cleaning, or going to dr's appts, but not much time to do anything exciting for myself. He is great though when it comes to pitching in, I thank God he is the way he is b/c he realizes all that I do and will at times see that I'm reaching the boiling point so he will tell me that maybe I should go walk around the mall or go out w/a friend. You shouldn't feel bad for asking your husband to help out, I'm sure you do what you need to in order that things run smoothly. In my opinion, it's kind of the same thing, you need some time to just unwind, even if you just go grocery shopping by yourself. I used to do that all of the time. I'd wear sweats to the store @ midnight & would take my time walking up & down the aisles w/no interuptions!
Best of luck to you.

Does your mom live near by? Is she able to watch them? Find a sitter, a relative, a neighbor, a church memeber someone to have "recharge" time. Its rare to have actual fun time and on a tight budget. At Christmas I ask for movie theater gift certificates. Its something I enjoy and its free with the certifiicate. Or go window shopping. Just to look around. Walking around in the park is fun for me or on the nature trails. Feeding the ducks at the duck pond. Farmers market (grocery shopping all in one). Library even if you dont take one home just grab one and find a quiet corner. Our city has movie nights about once a month for a free out door movie.

Me time happens when the kids are in bed at night, or on the rare occasion my MIL takes the little ones. Sometimes the older ones do and then i get a break.

What are your likes? What were things that interested you before you had kids? Start there and then work your way towards ways to do it cheaply.