How to Disciline a 13 Mo. Old?

He is way too young for a time out. Besides, the only place you can put him where he would stay put is likely a playpen or crib and you DO NOT want him to associate those things with punishment.

I like what one person does; get down on his level, grab his hands and firmly say no.

Good luck...I think it's a boy thing.

Two words...Trouble Pen...or Baby Jail.

If you don't already have them, get the indoor baby fencing that you can remove it's sections. I had some extra sections, put 4 of them together to make a square, and that's where he goes when he doesn't mind. We do give him plenty of warnings, and after only a couple of times being in the pen, he knew what the "Trouble Pen" was. Then when he would start to get out of line again, we would ask, "Want to go into the Trouble Pen?" Most of the time it works and he'll say no and stop what he's doing, but sometimes he'll need a reminder.

I would put the pen in his bedroom for isolation, leave the door open, and if needed turn on the hall light so he won't get scared. Also make sure he has nothing in the trouble pen with him...make it free of toys, blankets, etc...not a happy place. Anyway, by putting it in his room, that way it's a lot easier for you to not see his cute little sad face while he's crying, and helps prevent you from giving in. Then I wouldn't go get him until he quits crying and settles down. When he does, go in there and remind him what not to do and have him say he's sorry and remind him that you love him. It might be too early at this point to make him sit in the "Naughty Chair."

Trust me...the Trouble Pen works!

I recommend Love and Logic. They have some articles on their website at loveandlogic.com but they also have excellent books for various stages of childhood like toddlers, teens, etc. The strategies for discipline are practical and save my sanity. They are consistent and loving parenting techniques.

Here is an example that I cut and pasted from their website for the toddler that displays inappropriate behavior. "one option is to sing "Uh oh" and place the child gently in his or her room, a playpen, or someplace else where we know the child will be safe and will not be able to trick us into giving them more attention while they are misbehaving. Without yelling or threatening, we remove the child from the scene of the crime.

The key to success with the "Uh Oh Song"is to give the child little or no attention…positive or negative…while they are being removed or while they are serving time.

The fewer words we use while the child is misbehaving, the more effective we will be.

Another key to success is to make certain that the child is calm before they are allowed to return."

OH MY GOODNESS!! You have my son!! Seriously, my son is 16 months old. He climbs on the end tables, pushes buttons on the tv, plays in the dog food and water...everything you just mentioned plus some.

Telling him no doean't work at all!! We have started doing a time out. We sit him on the rug by the front door and tell him "time out". We only expect him to stay a short time, like 15-30 seconds. We've been doing this about a week or so. Honestly, he is still doing all the things we are trying to stop, yes he is so stubborn too!! We plan to continue with Time Outs, he doesn't like them and we hope he will make the connection.

Good luck! (I hope somebody else posts with a great idea so I can use it too.)

I took my dd to the pedi the other day and he gives out a handout at each of the well child visits on development, discipline, etc. We were going for her 9 month visit. The 9 month handout said that time outs were appropriate at her age (9 months) when you have told her NO to something several times in a row and she continues to do it. It said to put her in the playpen (without toys) for 1 minute and not to talk to her. So it seems if it is okay for a 9 month old – it would be okay for a 13 month.
Incidentally – I tried it last night. It was comical! She seemed surprised that there weren’t any toys in there (I had taken the toys out when I had told her no for the 10th time). Then she just pressed her face to the wall – looking out. When she realized we weren’t paying attention to her she just started playing with her toes and sat there and waited until I came to get her out. I am not sure it “taught” her anything – but she did forget about the bad behavior she was doing.

Hi B.,
Being the mom of two little boys I know that you can be tested by them!
As for a form of discipline, it is NOT too early for time outs. I started them when both my boys became mobile and no no's were a must. Rule of thumb with time outs for any young age is always be consistent. That means if it's off limits now, it's always off limits. Other wise remove it from his reach. It's gets too confusing at such a young age. Keep the warning short and sweet. No need to go over it again and again though you may feel like you are sometimes. ") If there is alot of no touch items, you may want to start by removing most of them and start with a few items to not overwhelm him and you.
I give mine a warning. Example: If you _____ again, you'll get a time out. If he does it again, he ALWAYS gets a time out.
That away I allow him to make the decision. And try not react in anger. Then it becomes a game for them.
Best Regards,
C.

Most importantly, good for you to recognize this is not a behavior you want in your home or elsewhere! The key, like others have stated, to behaviors with children is consistency.

One thing that worked well for me when my daughter was around that age was to hold her in my lap. I think the fewer words the better, let me give you an example. If she pushed a button on a TV, I would say no ma'am, no touch. If she did it again, I would scoop her up, again saying no ma'am, and sit with her facing out on my lap. Because she was VERY active (and still is at 9)she hated being restrained. I didn't hold her too tight, but I made her sit still and I didn't talk for a minute or two. Afterwards, I would turn her around in my lap and look her straight in the eye and repeat the command. No touch. It was very effective for her and I was unsure about removing her to her crib for thinking time. Besides the fact she was pretty good at climbing out of her crib anyway! :) This technique was effective for me when we were out as well. If she was misbehaving I would tell her stop running or you will need to sit in my lap. She would stop almost every time. If she didn't she sat in my lap.

We used the words thinking time instead of time out at her age because my daughter also struggles with her temper. In my opinion, where tempers are concerned, if you can get your child to recognize they're getting angry and remove themselves from the situation instead of reacting in anger, you're teaching them a valuable tool in self control. I believe that discipline is teaching self control. I knew she was getting it when her Papa (grandpa) did something that made her really angry. I could see by her face she was angry and was waiting to see if I needed to help her. She looked up at me and said Momma I need thinking time and went to another room. She was 2 at the time. My Mom nearly fell out of her chair and couldn't believe her self control. She returned to the room in a few minutes and started playing with something else. Please know, like me, she doesn't always keep a handle on her temper. But more often than not, she does. More importantly she knows several steps to take to keep herself in check, which is what I want for her.

You've received really good help from the other posts. You will have to figure your little boy out and what works best for him. I am confident you will!

Blessings!
L.

My daughter is 14 months old and is going through the terrible twos or whatever you want to call it. She is very smart and strong willed. I have started time out. Believe me, they know a lot more than we give them credit for. I put her in her crib and leave the room. I tell her 2 minutes and set the timer. She does know what it means when I look at her and say, "do you want to go into time out?" Either the behavior stops or she goes. She has stopped biting me and hitting me. As long as you are consistent, they get the message.

GL!

It sounds like you have a very smart little guy on your hands. If he is that smart, you may want to at least TRY time out.

I used to work in child care with a 12 to 18 month old class. At this age, an appropriate time out would be to:

1. Look him straight in the face and FIRMLY (but not yelling) say, "no!"

2. Pick him up facing AWAY from you (do not let him hold/hug your body/neck).

3. Carry him to his crib or play pen.

4. Put him in, state firmly (still not yelling) "We don't [blank]" (fill in the inappropriate action).

5. Turn around and walk out of the room (do not look into the room for 2 minutes).

6. After 2 minutes, enter the room cheerfully and pick him up from the crib saying something like, "lets go play blocks" or another activity that is in another room from the misbehavior.

Yes, he is TESTING you. He seems very smart to do this at such a young age -- you are right. The best thing to do is let him know that the SAME infraction will occur with EVERY misbehavior. This is how you TEACH the boundaries. Once he realizes where the boundaries are, he will stop.

Just be consistant. You are doing a great job to have such a smart little one.

I hope this helps.

Blessings,

P. <><

Your toddler is doing typical toddler things...been there and done that!

NO HE IS NOT TOO YOUNG FOR TIME OUT'S! We started at 12 months.

My advice:

Re: climbing on tables. Push the chairs under the table sideways if you can this should help enable him from climbing and if you see him do it or attempt it. Stop him tell him NO! and put him in Time out for 1 min. (1 min for each year old). I do not look at her while she is in time out. Once the timer goes off I then tell her she was a good girl for sitting there and reminder what she is not allowed to do. I then take her hand and tell her she is allowed out of time out and give her a hug and kiss and let her on her way.

Just because the timer goes off does not mean she is allowed out of Timeout until Mommy lets her out. This allows me the control and not her.

As far as pushing buttons on tv's...we just keep telling our daughter "No Touch!" and she usually listens but if she keeps it up and starts laughing....time out she goes.

BE CONSISTANT!!!! This is the key! Set a designated chair or spot for time outs away from toys and distractions. After a while they will learn the spot. If they get up from the spot before the Min. is over. The min. starts all over again.

Set a Kitchen timer when you put him in timeout this will let both him and you know time is up.

It may take some time and patience but he will eventually pick it up and things will go alot easier. Like I said before Be Consistant.

This worked for us...and now she knows when she is in trouble she sits in her Time Out Chair. I have even repremanded her once and she put herself there. I had to laugh because I wasnt going to put her there. I had to let her no she was in trouble but not so much so that she had to go to Time Out. It was so funny!

Good luck.

Do what Supernanny does...get down on their level, grab their hands (tight enough for them to not wiggle away), look them in the eye, & tell them no. Be controlled & consistent. By controlled, I mean be clear in your voice & don't break eye contact.

If your son tries to wiggle out of your hands, just grab on tighter until he figures out that you're serious. Be consistent & controlled. Good luck!

Hey -
Several poeple said that the only place "safe" for a timeout is the crib or playpen. I have also heard of the highchair being faced to the wall for the "timeout" time period (very very short at this age) as being effective. Fortunately for me, my son was an angel and didn't really give me any trouble. On the flip side, my daughter is only 7 months old and I swear I see the devil in her eyes sometimes. I already scared of what she is going to start when she can crawl/get around!

-L.

try using a baby gate to block the dog food. remove the end tables and get a guard for the tv buttons. there isn't much discipline you can do at this age.

I highly recommend:
1. DVD: Happiest Toddler on the Block
2. Love and Logic---look at the Early Childhood package

It is normal, but these two resources are great. Start with the DVD for immediate strategies!!!

IF you have questions, let me know.