How to Handle Stepmother Issue.

I agree with all the other advice. Talk to the dad now. Don't wait. If you wait, situation might get worse.

I know that being on the other end from you, I am a step mom, you need to talk about it and try and resolve the issue as soon as possible.

My husband has 3 children from a previous marriage, and I have 1 from a previous relationship. We have two together, so we have 6 between the two of us. When my husband and I got together, i had to deal with his ex-wife ( no offense to anyone) but she was a real piece of work. She would call to our house ask to talk to my husband (always seemed like when he was at work) and then try and cuss me out. I finally told her, call he cell.
After about 2 m onths, she started acting nicer. Then about 6 months after my hubby and i were together, she was ok. She even called me up one day and thanked me for taking such great care of her daughter while her daddy was at work.
So i know that step parents and parents can get along.
Good luck! Hope all works out for you and your kids.

I agree with the others who say you need to talk to Dad ASAP. But I think you should actually talk to them together. Make it clear that you are not trying to break up their marriage, and that the stepmother has no business talking about these issues with your child. If she has a complaint or concern, she needs to address it with you and not bring your child into the situation. If she feels her husband's child is breaking up her marriage...well, then maybe she should leave. I think most parents would say their child comes before anyone else, and if she can't deal with that, then she needs to move on. Just my opinion. Good luck.

I have had to deal with some of the same issues in the past and trust me - Get a handle on it NOW!!! Unfortunately there are stepmoms like this (not always). I think you should talk to your child's dad as soon as possible and even if you go about it as nice as possible expect him to get defensive, that doesn't mean he will but just be prepared. If and when he talks to his wife about the situation things can get worse so be prepared for that as well but you HAVE to do something about it and make sure your son knows that you are on his side and that he can tell you anything. My son always held things in until he made himself sick because he didn't want to be the cause of conflict and you just have to keep reassuring him over and over that it is ok and that everything will be ok regardless. Good luck!!!

As a stepmom (of a child who lives with us), it irritates me to hear when other step-parents cross the line when talking to the kids. Even if you all really dislike each other, everybody needs to be reminded that the child did not ask for the situation, nor did he/she choose any or all of his parents; they are just expected to deal with it.

Your son came to you for a solution, so you really should talk to his dad about it; don't be confrontational about it, though. You might start out with something like, "I'm really glad that (son) is feeling better about his place in the family when he's at your house. He has mentioned something to me that made him uncomfortable, and I just want to be sure we're all on the same page where he's concerned. I'm not trying to get into your personal business. However, (son) seems to need some reassurance from you and (wife) that we aren't out to get one another. If you or (wife) have adult issues we need to discuss, I'd like to do that to make sure our communication lines stay open as parents."

Best of luck.

oh my God, i have dealt with step mom issues for about 15 years now - not fun. my best advice is to always be there for your son and let him know he can tell you anything, don't ever let him see you react to what he tells you, and i found that it does no good to say anything to the dad (in my situation). I also realized that i did more harm than good when confronting the issues because then it was taken out on my kids and my words were turned around. so i learned to always be there for my kids to talk to and discuss the situation with them. over the years they have figured out (on thier own) who is the good guy and who is the bad guy and i am the GOOD guy. i have a very close and open relationship with them because of this so it has been a blessing in the long run. when i first divorced my kids were 2 1/2 and 3, they are now 17 & 18.

you should really talk to his father about this. if you just let it go your child will keep hearing this from his step mother and it will put a lot of stress on him..........just tell your ex your feelings and be honest.........its good to keep good comunication skills between parents, it really helps the children. and maybe the step mother needs to take a helping children cope with divorce. it really helps out.

I can speak from first hand experience on a child's point of view. Do not, I repeat do not allow your child to be put into the position of having to come between his father and stepmother. If your son doesn't want to say anything then you should ask him if he minds if you talk to his father about it then have your him confirm it with your son. I pray his father will not agree with her because this is probably the very reason he doesn't want to tell his dad. I lost all respect for all four of my parents because all the he said, she said, blah, blah, blah assumptions were worse at home than in school with kids my age.

When a child's parents divorce it is hard but many times the child gets more attention than when they were married. Once one or both parents re-marry...the child feels alone in his family because he defines his family by what he knew before the divorce. All I can say is all of the parents should be doing their best to prove him wrong until he believes it. My point is it is hard enough to find room for yourself as a child in two different households because you are not always at either to hold your ground without having to step on any toes and yes I do believe Crystal is jealous of your son.

I fully agree with the other responses. Make sure you talk to his father about this, or to his stepmother when your son isn't around. She has no business talking to a child about her own issues and any adult situation. You were right to tell your son that he needs to tell his father about anything in the future. Keep reinforcing that to him. As long as your son mentions it to his dad, then they can't say that you are trying to start issues. I don't believe that you have to worry about ruining their marriage, because if your ex husband is any kind of a father, then his wife's paranoia will be enough cause. Using a child and implanting false ideas like that proves that she has no business currently being alone with children. It seems to me that there are issues in their marriage right now that you don't know about, and she wants someone to blame other than herself for the potential failure. The ex-wife is, unfortunately, usually the first place that a finger will be pointed at. If you do talk to your ex, remind him that you don't care to know what goes on in his house that doesn't concern your son, but this is what was told to you, and it raises concerns. Tell him that you would appreciate if he would talk to her and let her know that your son is not to be told things like that. Where you had said that a part of you just wants to let it go shows that you are being the more mature adult, and if you think that phrasing it like that may start a fight, tell him that your son interpreted what the stepmom had to say as a derogatory remark towards himself and towards you, and ask that she please think of how she phrases things before she says them in front of him.