How to Include My Son into the Wedding Ceremony

Updated on July 17, 2008
L.M. asks from Littleton, CO
8 answers

Hi there,
I getting married for the second time. I have a son who is 11 and I would love to have him stand up with my future and husband during the ceremony.
I have heard of a few ideas in how to include and make him feel a part of the actual ceremony, but am wondering if there are anymore ideas out there.
thanks for you help!

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M.N.

answers from Denver on

First off Congrats on your wonderful day to come.
Have you talked to your fiance about having him as one of the bestmans or maybe a ring bearer and have him walk down with the flower girl. You could have him help seat people or be a greeter and make sure your guest book gets signed. Its your wedding what would you like him to do and just talk to your fiance and see what suggestions he may have as well. I hope this helps and gl

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L.B.

answers from Denver on

I work in a church and am also one of our wedding hostesses. I have seen a BEAUTIFUL sand ceremony as part of the wedding ceremony. It is basically about, in your case, having 3 different colors of sand, one representing each on of you and then pouring them together. The point is that the individual parts remain intact, but you can't separate them again. The couple families that have used it have been so happy with it and the inclusion of kids. Google "wedding sand ceremony" to find the wording to go along with it. Or take what you find and make it yours. One suggestion...don't substitute wax beads for sand - they stick together and make the pouring really hard.

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi!

We recently went to a wedding where the young boy actually walked the mom down the aisle and gave her away. It was very nice. The couple had something special written in and we all loved it. Congratulations!!!

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M.P.

answers from Denver on

Having him stand up with you and your soon to be hubby is a great idea, however, you'll also need two people who are over 18 to actually sign the documents.

If you have any bible readings being done, have him read. In another wedding I saw the bride & groom actually 'vow' to the step children to love them and take care of them as if they were their own. The kids were standing next to their respective parent during this whole ceremony.

Congrats and good luck on your decision.

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S.T.

answers from Denver on

I love the idea of your son walking you down the aisle - especially since it is your second wedding.

When I got married to my husband, he had two daughters from his previous marriage. They were flower girls, of course, but we wrote in some family vows that he and I said to the girls. We called them up when that part came up in the ceremony. Promises that we'd always be there for them, we'd always take care of them and love them, and that they could always look to us for encouragement and support, love and praise. When we were finished with the family vow part, we lit the unity candle all together since our marriage was also the beginning of our newly created family.

They didn't have to say anything, but the message was clear to them and to the guests that this was more than just a wedding, that by us getting married, they were also a part of that and they felt very included.

Congratulations and enjoy!

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S.A.

answers from Denver on

Maybe he could be a "honorary best man?", or have him be the one who says, "And now you may kiss my mom (instead of the bride!!!) or he can walk you down the aisle...or in front of you & your dad?

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T.S.

answers from Grand Junction on

I was also a single mother getting married for the 2nd time (the first time I was way too young and foolish). I got married in Sept. 2006 and my son was 6 years old. I also didn't have a father to give me away, so my mother (who has been a single mother for 22 years) and my son walked me down the isle. When our pastor said, "who gives this woman to this man?", my son said, "my grandma and I do". It was very special and really mean a lot to my son! (he is 8 years old now and has a beautiful 9 1/2 month old sister).

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

When my mom married my stepdad, my cousin (male) and I were the flower girl and ring bearer. We were a bit younger than 11, but that might be something you could do to include him.

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