How Would You Feel About This? - Auburn,NH

As a paramedic my friend routinely showed up first on scene after a 9-1-1 call and motorcycles? Scooters? She thought it was interesting to practice CPR on the bodies while brain matter came out their ears. She said that real CPR was nothing like on the practice dummies. Hearing the ribs break and feeling the crunchy motion was something they had to get used to. So practicing on the "bodies" was one way they learned what it really felt like.

So no, never ever as long as they live with me.

we have dirt bikes, they are not street legal. it's different riding a dirt bike around the hills and trails than on the streets.

I would say no.

well I guess you need to define "motor bike" - are you taking a moped or a motorcycle or a dirt bike??

If you are talking moped? Not bad - great to get around to do small things. If you really live in New Hampshire? They will most likely not be using it during the winter....

Motorcycle? I'm all for them. Having the ability to drive different vehicles, including manual transmissions, is an important skill to have. Same rules would apply to driving a car...

They need to go through the training....
They need to buy a bike that fits them and is not too big...
Know the rules of the road....
My best friend owns a Harley...she's an experience rider...she dumped her bike two years ago on gravel and broke her clavicle. Never say NEVER...

For a teenager?? I would concerned about riding in densely populated areas and traffic. Depends upon how responsible the person is. If impulsive and flighty? No. Motorcycle are not the vehicle for them. Responsible? yes.

And yes, cars are safer. But stuff still happens.

Good luck!

No. My husband was a motor officer and worked a lot of accidents. He would never allow our children to ride motorcycles and he worked on one for six years. I could list a whole range of gory stories here, but there are images I wish I did not have in my head so I will spare everyone. Ask anyone who rides, it is not if you will get in an accident, it is when and how bad it will be. The odds of a fatality are exponentially higher for teens on a motorcycle vs. car. Even my strong hippie affection for fossil fuel conservation can't get me past that one.

Nope. My teen needs to master driving a car before anything like that would be discussed.

Ditto Gamma G. Family of EMTs and firefighters. You cannot imagine the scenes. Enough said.

I got my license and bought my first motorcycle at 24. It might be a good idea to drive a car for a few years to get comfortable on the road and with other drivers before riding a motorcycle. My daughter would like a scooter or moped to get around town (they cannot go on the highway, with a top speed of about 40 mph) and I think that would be fine. That is similar to riding a bicycle on the side of the road.
I agree with others that the "sharing" of such an expensive item is a teenage dream and should be discouraged.What if they both want it on the same day? What if one does not have the money that is needed that month for insurance or loan?

Not going to happen in my family. On the other hand, bikers do make great organ donors and there are always people who need a donation.

It seems like a bad idea for two un-related teens who are not in a long-term legally-committed relationship to go in together on such a major purchase. A motorbike, or any motorized vehicle, requires insurance, licenses, mechanical upkeep, and money for gas. And for two young kids, a 16 year old and a boy who's been living with you, to share that kind of responsibility will only lead to frustration. What happens if the boy moves out? What happens if they both need it on the same night or day? I might be able to see this being successful if they were siblings, but a teen and a visitor? No.

This is typical teen stuff. "We'll both save up and backpack around Europe." "We'll pool our allowances and buy __________ ." They're not thinking about the reality of ownership or responsibilities, they're just thinking "oooh, with your money and my money, we can ________ ."

So if your daughter wants to get a motorbike (or car or bicycle), make her research insurance requirements; license requirements; any restrictions from your town, county or state like no driving after 7 pm if you're under 18 or no passengers or any other driving/riding laws; costs of gas and oil and sparkplugs; and backup transportation plans for when she has to get to work or school in the snow or when it's icy. But tell her NO to sharing such a large purchase with a pal.

And evaluate your daughter realistically. Is she careful? Law-abiding? A good student? Fearless? A dare devil? The type that does what "everyone else" is doing no matter how risky or stupid? Does she take good care of her own belongings and health?

For some people, a motorbike or scooter can be a cost-effective means of transportation. For others, it's a quick way to get to the ER.

So I would completely remove any possibility of sharing such a purchase, unless it were your husband and daughter sharing it, with clear responsibilities and privileges outlined beforehand (she just can't ride it and expect him to put gas in it and insure it and fix it), and then ask your daughter to proceed with a complete research project on the pros and cons of buying a vehicle of any type, if you believe she is mature enough to handle it.

I notice your address says you're in New Hampshire. The winter weather would make a motorcycle pretty impractical as transportation for much of the year, woudn't it? I cannot see sending your teen out to school, or to a job, on a motorcycle in snow, sleet, ice....maybe a very experienced rider can handle all that, but a teen new to driving any type of vehicle?

Also, if they share this motorcycle, there inevitably will be conflicts in scheduling who has it when. If they both work, both of them will need it at times to get to work (unless you plan to let one of them borrow a car each time the other has the motorcycle). Sharing this thing with him will not mean your daughter has her own independent means to get to her job or even to school every time, nor does the boy.

Are you sure this isn't a case of your daughter being persuaded by him that it's a good idea, when the truth is he misses having his own and sees this as a way to get access to one?

But no matter what, I would just say "Sorry, the weather here is not right for using a motorcycle as your primary means of transportation, so the answer is no."

It concerns me that your husband just shrugs and sees it as "fun for them." I can't see getting my brand new inexperienced driver child a "fun" vehicle that cannot be practical for getting her where she needs to go safely and reliably in all weathers.

I once dated a road racer. A professional.
He wouldn't ride a bike on the street. Ever.
'Nuf said.

Dirt bike is what I think of with the term motorbike. So sure if you mean motorcycle. For me dirt bike Ok motorcycle not okay for any teen of mine

It depends what the traffic is like where you live.
When we lived in Norther Virgina my husband had a touring bike.
He rarely rode it and traffic was so thick and crazy - even with the huge bike - other drivers just wouldn't see him on the road.
Where we live now - the traffic is much different - and many people have motorcycles and join rallies to ride out in the country.
But my husband is over them now - his interest has moved on to boats!

As for your daughter getting one - well it's just like owning a car - she'll have to pay insurance, gas, maintenance.
But a bike in cold/wet weather can be pretty miserable if she's depending on it for her main source of transportation.
Also - when you go in on a vehicle with someone else - you have to work out how to share it and the responsibilities.
Friendships get destroyed over stuff like this.
I think a car is a better idea but I still wouldn't want 2 teens buying a car together.

Not sure what you mean by motorbike, but if you are talking about motorcycles, the idea of my kids riding them made me nervous. When our kids were talking about them, we tried to dissuade them. So far, we have been successful.

My main point was, you need a car first. A motorcycle is a toy, but you usually can't use it as your main mode of transportation. Buy a motorcycle once you have the money for an expensive toy. One of my kids did use a scooter for a while, but you can't take those on the highway.

No way would I let my daughter ride on a motorcycle let alone purchase one while she lived under my roof.

As safe a driver she may be, other drivers are unpredictable and some are just crazy. When I was 21 I co-oped with a guy who was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident and my friend's brother was killed on a motorcycle in his 20s. Seems like an accident waiting to happen to me.

I think this has "trouble" written all over it. First issues: Safety. She's a completely inexperienced driver, but she wants to have a heavy machine that she can physically control as well as drive (2 separate issues) and which offers her zero protection or safety (no seat belt, no air bag, no protective layer of anything around her). She will be a target for bad auto drivers out there. And she wants to share this with someone else, which means they will be riding together - so on top of the inexperience , she's going to ride with the added weight and distraction of this guy sitting behind her, or she's going to ride behind him.

Second issue: practicality. She can only ride it in good weather, which in NH is April through September, if there's no rain. She can't carry a lot of stuff on it - a backpack full of books for school? Summer recreation stuff? So if she's telling you what a convenience it would be for her to have her own vehicle, she's dreaming. Most kids promise that, if they can get a car, they will do errands for Mom and Dad, go grocery shopping, take the siblings to friends' houses, etc., and they don't follow through - but she's not going to be able to promise those things with a motorcycle! Then she has to negotiate using it with another person? So she wants to ride to her job and he wants to ride to his, and the bike sits in the parking lot for hours? They're going to be fighting over this all the time. Who wins? Who decides? What does the one do when the other has the bike?

Third issue: expenses. She wants to go into a business relationship with someone she knows, but she is a minor and maybe he is too. They cannot sign contracts, and so this will break down into arguments and disputes. I'd have her go through the exercise of "what it really costs" which means the price of the bike, registration/licensing fees (for the bike), gas, repairs & maintenance costs, helmet, goggles, protective clothing, and the outrageous insurance costs for 2 underage drivers on a motorcycle. They will each need their own policy including collision, liability, etc. Have HER go through the exercise of calling 2 or 3 insurance agents to find out. Do not agree to put her on your policy. Then have her research the cost of getting a driver's license and then a motorcycle license on top of that. She wants to "learn" how to ride a motorcycle? How is she going to do that. Does the local driving school offer driver's ed on that? If not, is her teacher going to be some kid who had a bike for a while?

Remember, and remind her, that a young person's brain isn't fully developed until around age 25. The last part of the brain to develop is the part that predicts consequences. This is part of the reason why so many young people are in car accidents - no experience mixed with poor judgment and the inability to anticipate.

My son talked about this for a while. We said no. He's pretty thrilled that we did now that he looks back and sees what it would have been like. After he had his first car accident (which wasn't even serious in its consequences although it could have been - he just skidded on icy roads because he didn't slow down enough for the existing conditions and couldn't get the car out), he realized we were right. He wound up getting his own car through his grandmother - a gift he was lucky to get - and later saved up to buy his own new car after he got out of college. That's the way to do it.

Once she's out on her own, working full time and paying for an apartment and health insurance and groceries, she can do what she wants. If she's under your roof, you have to put your foot down. But I'd absolutely take her through the exercise of planning a budget (her income vs. all her expenses) and researching all the hidden costs involved. My guess is, she and this boy have looked at the purchase price of the bike and maybe a helmet, and that's it.

Motorbike does not necessarily mean motor cycle. I would be concerned about safety on a motorcycle. A motorcycle has a cachet that would encourage speed and showing off.

I would be OK with motorized scooter. It does run on two wheels, is practical and will provide transportation at limited sleeds without being seen as powerful and showy.

Where I live a motorbike is very impractical. They are not really for transportation, but a hobby for old people who have money to spare. You can't just own a motorcycle. You still need to own a car. First of all, they can only be ridden six months of the year, and even in those six months they aren't very useful in the rain. Secondly, because of the dangerous nature they are extremely expensive to insure. Thirdly, you need to get a special licence to operate a motorcycle. Fourth, where would she carry her stuff? I remember as a teenage girl having a lot of stuff to carry around with me over the course of a day (school books, work uniforms, extracurricular equipment, musical instruments.) Suggest she buy a car instead, and do not let her share a vehicle with her friend.

ETA: As a teenage girl I also wouldn't want to arrive everywhere I went with "helmet hair"!

My kids all like motorcycles. I told them when they no longer live in my house and buy one for themselves with their own money, there's nothing I can do about it.

Would I want my teen out on one? Hell no. I know too many experienced adult motorcycle drivers with serous injuries. And the crashes are never their fault. One friend was literally almost ripped in half and has the spiral scar around his waist to prove it.

I guess it depends on the traffic in your area. My husband was on a bike for years and he rode them for years as a kid. He finally got off of it and sold it, as he couldn't tote a 3 year old around on the back of it.

If you have traffic like we do, where everyone is in a hurry, then, no way. I think there is a certain amount of responsibility to go along with a bike. You will probably never convince her of that, but if your roads are too busy, then you may have to use your mom powers.

well, yeah, cars are definitely safer. do you live in an urban environment, or out in the sticks?
in a town you could look at a moped for local errands. some people ride them out here on country roads, but the roads are narrow and hilly and i think it's pretty dangerous. in a more rural setting they could look at a dirt bike for tooling around and having fun.
i wouldn't be thrilled with a 16 year old on a full-fledged motorcycle at all. i'm generally the laid-back mom, but i think 18 is plenty of time for that.
khairete
S.

I can't imagine being okay with my daughters first vehicle being a motorcycle. I wouldn't tell her no, but I would say she needed to wait until 18.