How Would You React to Husbands Comment?

"I hope you're not planning to wear that hat at the game or anywhere in public.".
"Bummer, Dude. I got it. I like it. I'm wearing it. Everyone will want one and I'm starting a trend. Are you REALLY going to wear those pants/shoes/shirt? You're clashing with my hat.".

'I hope you're not going to wear that' or 'Are you really going to wear that' comments are just passive aggressively rude. And the whole 'put it back on or stay home' routine would leave me livid. You have every right to be angry at his comment, and his has no room to say anything about it except sorry.

I'm more concerned that he would say to put it back or stay home. That sounds very controlling to me and i would not stand for that.

What I don't like is him saying for you to put it back on or stay home. THAT is rude and condescending of him to say. He is acting like he's your father.

I don't know what else you are supposed to "take" from him telling you that he hopes you aren't planning on wearing it. What else did he expect other than hurt feelings from you? You bought it because you liked it. To back pedal like that, and then act like a jerk on top of it is HIS bad. Not yours. And it's not a joke. It's an ugly jab.

Don't you dare stay home. And wear the damn hat!

And don't sit beside him.

What else can I think of - I'm mad FOR YOU right now!

Dawn

it wasn't a joke. he was being honest (even if he knows nothing of what is cute and his "opinion" is completely baseless), then he realized he spoke too harshly and hurt your feelings and tried to "fix it" by insisting you wear it anyway. he screwed up. my husband has done similar things. then he wonders why you don't just wear it when he "takes it back" and tries to bully you into wearing it. (not wearing the ugly hat = unhappy wife. therefore i must make her wear it so she'll be happy.) cuz THAT makes it all better....ugh. men! hopefully he will learn to be a little more sensitive next time.

yes i would have been hurt too.

Your husband opened his mouth and inserted his foot. Then, feeling ashamed of being a jerk, tried to backpedal instead of simply apologizing to you. It was no joke, he was NOT kidding. But your reaction made him realize he effed up.

Since the hat is cute and your husband obviously has no fashion sense, just laugh off his comments. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Wear that hat proudly and thank people when they compliment you on it.

Thank you Dawn! Saved me a lot of typing.

He can either say nicely, I really do not care for your hat and stck with that.

Or he can keep is mouth shut.

I hope he does not " joke" like this with you very often, because it is very passsive aggressive.

If I may translate:

Him: Please don't wear that awfulness - you're too beautiful to be brought down by a turquoise hat.

You: I love it! But you disagree with me. Please don't disagree with me.

Him: I love you and will say whatever is necessary to make you happy. I love turquoise. It really brings out your pores!

You: My pores! You have hurt my feelings. I'm never going to wear this thing since YOU think it's so ugly.

Him: I don't friggin' care about the hat. I gave you my honest opinion, and it was rejected. I lied, and it was rejected. Just wear the hat and please let me out of this conversation.
___________________________________________
Here's an example of how my wife and I handle it:
Her: Do you like my new jeans?

Me: They do not shape your butt as well as many many other brands or styles.

Her: Have you seen the receipt? Thanks - I trust you for an honest opinion.

I would make fun of his shirt but then I am immature like that. :)

My husband never seriously tells me what to wear/not wear but occasionally teases me about stuff he thinks it silly, which I take lightly, as it's meant and promptly ignore and wear anyway :) Guys and gals just have different tastes... I imagine this could be especially true with hats ;)

If you love the hat, that's all you need and even if husband doesn't like it/wasn't just joking, WEAR IT!! I'd only think it's an issue worth discussing if he does this kind of thing on a regular basis.

I think you took his initial comment too seriously. I would have responded with something like, "That's okay if you don't like it. I love it and I'm going to wear it."

His response after your ACTUAL reaction was rude, though, and somewhat defensive. He could have phrased it differently. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I just like seeing your hair all free and pretty. You can wear it if you like even if girly hats aren't my thing."

Go ahead and wear your hat. I'm sure it's adorable.

He sounds passive-aggressive and mean . . . at least that's the way it reads to me.

And you "can stay home?" Ummm - no. His butt can stay home.

I'm all for respect in a marriage but I'm not for being mean, and then coming back with "JUST KIDDING!" That's not cool.

Are you serious? I would be left behind a lot if I was offended every time my husband made comments like that, I mean opened his mouth. And, I still think he is a pretty great guy.

Really, put the hat back on your head and hold his hand...in public.

He's clueless, obviously.
Isn't he aware that women dress for other women, not for MEN? :P
I have long stopped using my husband (although he has good taste) as any type of fashion consultant. I suggest you do the same asap!

Who makes rude jokes like this? Not my husband. I'm with Dawn. I would have gotten out of the car and said I wasn't going anywhere with him unless I got a sincere apology.
We joke around all the time in our family, to the point that sometimes we have to remind the kids' friends that we are a sarcastic bunch and not to take our jesting seriously (we tease each other, not the guests!). But what he said wasn't sarcasm, it was mean and he meant it to be mean. And he needs to explore why he would say something like that to his wife.

My hubby would say something along those lines. Not to intentionally hurt my feelings, though. Here's how I personally would get him back for a comment like that. Don't wear the hat at the game, go home, get him all aroused, excuse yourself to get "a little more comfortable", and come out in sexy lingerie AND THE HAT. See if he says it looks bad then!!!!!

LOL

Men can just be dumb, I must be something in the air today. I have been working my butt off today cleaning the house, taking my time to do all the little stuff that you just dont always get to, my husband, who is an awesome guy, comes home and says, "dont take offense but the house looks worse than it did when I left this morning"! I about socked the man! Then I SHOWED him all the things I did today! Shut his mouth really quick!

WEAR the hat, it sounds cute~

Most men say things like this when they do not know what to do with fashion trends. I am sure it looked good on you, but to be honest, that is a trend I never understood personally - probably because I do not like them on myself. Here is the thing, if you can not wear the hat with confidence (like now since he was a butt about it) you should not wear it - but do pull it out again sometime and wear it with confidence. I have found that someone can wear ANYTHING if they wear it with confidence.

Im sorry, but I thought his joke was funny. When he realized it hurt your feelings, he should have apologized right away. We do a fair amount of good natured joking and teasing at our house. Its actually my dh that usually gets upset or takes stuff way too personally. Next time just say of course Im wearing it, and I bought you a mens one so we could match, lol.

Ah, pffft to him.
Wear your hat and enjoy it.

I think that I would rather my husband be honest and tell me if something looks bad vs saying everything looks good when it doesn't. I get aggravated at my husband because no matter what I have on he says it looks good and sometimes I know that it does not look good, so I don't believe him when he tells me something looks good. Atleast you know when your husband says something looks good he is being honest.

That's pretty mild as far as rude jokes go. I'd brush it off and just say, "Sorry, I like it, and it is going to protect my face from the sun." I give my husband constructive criticism about his wardrobe all the time. If it weren't for me, he'd still be wearing Bill Cosby sweaters.

Joke or not that would of hurt my feelings :( but if you like it, rock it out!!

I don't know, it's a lot of drama over a hat.

Just ask your husband, bluntly, "Do you like the hat, or not? Tell me the truth." And if he doesn't like it, you can decide whether to wear it or not.

If joking over a hat (or not liking it) is the worst thing he does, you have a pretty great husband.

Just wear it. I am sure it looks good. I love turquoise :)))
Show your husband Snooki( I read about her somewhere and the way she dress is not that good at mix and match), then he will be thankful for marrying you.

Anyway, I like the opinion Dad on Purp...maybe ur husband just want to be honest, but tried to said it jokingly and failed. But it just a hat though. It shouldn't be that exaggerated. Don't take it too hard :) just wear it, if you wear anything with confidence everything will be ok.

I'm sure if you wore out you would get compliments.
Sometimes we just have to ignore weird things our man says.

Honestly, I think when people are together for a long time, it's only natural that they come out and say exactly what is on their mind. If my husband wears something that looks ridiculous, I do tell him. Now, if he decides to keep wearing it, then so be it.. I would also mention that it's not uncommon for my husband to speak up as well.. If you truly think something looks good on you, then wear it.. However, it's also good to get an honest opinion about things... Also, you say that usually he is a great guy, so if this is a rare comment, then maybe he really did think it looks bad.. It's ok.. we don't always agree on styles...

My husband would say stuff like that all the time. Either joking or serious. But that is just how we are. I don't think it's rude the part about wearing it out or in public, I can see the humor as my husband has said this to me and I've said it to my husband, especially about his sweater vests. As for the part about put it on or stay home, that's rude and unacceptable.

First comment I would have joked that of course "I" wasn't going to wear it , i had bough it for him..happy belated father's day!

Second comment about it being a joke, I would be up front and honest. he hurt you, he needs to know. I would tell him when you're calm. "What you said hurt, I like this hat and I thought it was cute. Regardless of what you may or may not think...*put hat on* I'm the one who's going to wear it and look fabulous."

Tell him you don't like his rude jokes and that you would appreciate if he could stop. My boyfriend used to say stupid things to but he's over it. If you really like it then just wear it. No couple should have a major fight over a stupid hat or a little thing like that.

I say, put it back on and enjoy your new buy! If he's grumpy, try not to take it on! I know it's easier said that done, but at least try to enjoy your new present =)

my guy says stuff like that all the time, i almost always change when he does and he always says he is joking but it makes me self conscious so i decide not to wear it

If he said that to me then I wouldn't care, I'd wear it anyways. If YOU like it then that is all that matters. Wear it with confidence and let him be the crabby one. It was a jerk thing to say, even more so when he added the "or stay home part"

If he had just given you an honest opinion then this wouldn't have happened. You need to explain to him that you want his HONEST opinion and whatever it is you wont get mad. I do this with my hub and it works out pretty good.

I say how does this shirt look? I wont get mad I promise, and he will tell me yes or no.

Just talk to him!

My hubby has made comments to me about things I might be wearing, not mean, but lets me know he doesn't really like it. I don't care and he certainly does not not want to be seen with me. I wear what I want. He may voice his opinion once, in a nice way, but then it's over. I wear what I want.

And what's this put it back on or stay home? Is he talking to a child. I would be extremely angry if my hubby said something like that to me. In fact, at that point I probably would have thrown the hat out the car window and then asked him "what now idiot." No, that's the comment that wouldn't have gotten by me!

Is he normally sarcastic?