Hubby & Dealing with His Addiction

Have you attended Alanon at all? I think they can help you with how to deal with an addict. He will be an "addict" for the rest of his life, hopefully an addict in recovery. Is he going to N/A?

You can't help him get through it, he has to want it and do the work himself. Oh--also, know that suboxone can be abused as well.

Good luck to your hubby!

You need to get into some counseling. They can tell you exactly what should be going on and what to do ......

You'll have an easier time if you get into a program to deal with this........

Good Luck and take care.

Hi Bree09

I would be very leery if you said "it's us or the pills" and he ran right out to get clean. Addicts don't generally work that way unless it's combined with his rock bottom.

Craig Fergusen has a great joke that goes something like "the difference between someone who uses and someone who is addicted is that someone who uses will steal your purse and then feel really really bad the next day. An addict will steal your purse and then help you look for it".

You need to take care of yourself and you son. That is what you can do for your husband. Make sure you are not enabling your husband. If you husband has been addicted for 10 years that is a really long time and your entire family has developed behaviors that are now 2nd nature that act around the addiction. Get yourself and (son, depending on his age) to see a counselor or in AlAnon so that you can work on changing YOUR behaviors that supported the addiction (not that either of you are at fault, but it's a dynamic that is pervasive for the entire family). Your husband has to WANT to do this. And it's going to be hard. For everyone.

It can be done. Good Luck!

Get some counseling and support for yourself, you are going to need it. I agree with the poster who said suboxone is just another drug. DH was addicted to pain patches, he tried to step down (dr supervised) several times using hydrocodone and failed miserably. He ended up in rehab detoxing cold turkey, it was how he finally kicked it. You will need to learn how to change your environment to support him. Ultimatums will not work. If he doesn't want to get clean he won't, it's that simple; and if that's the case you have to decide what is best for you and your son. If he truly does want to get clean he's going to need a lot of support from you and you are going to have to learn how to forgive him in order to move on. Hope everything turns out ok for you.

My friend's husband got addicted to vicodin after having two knee operations. They fixed one knee first but he still had pain in the other while going through physical therapy and then they did the other and it was just a long drawn out process. But, he was full on addicted. She tore a ligament in her leg and he took all her pain medicine, then was on her to get more. That's when she knew for sure he had a huge problem.
She went to the doctor with him and said, "This is it. I've had it. You've given him all these pills and now you are going to help get him off of them."
Unfortunately, it's not as easy as "It's me or the pills". Once they get addicted, especially to opiates, it's not really a matter of choice.
His doctor put him on methodone and they were able to come out the other side of it. It wasn't easy, but she didn't want to divorce him. And, there were days she was ready to, believe me. But, they're doing great now. He even had another surgery not too long ago and they gave him non-narcotic pain medication.
It is possible to get through this. He has to really want to and you have to try to be as supportive as possible.

I really wish you the best.

Hie thee to an Al-Anon group. Other recovering enablers are the experts who will guide you through the difficult and draining process of recovery – your own and your husband's. This free support group has been life changing for a number of my friends who have had family members with addiction problems. My best to you all.