A.,
I feel your pain! I agree with Jennifer and Julie, get some real time consequences. Of course YOU didn't do anything wrong. She's four and good at it. (That's what I tell people when they say how adorable and well behaved my children are - right!)
Here are my suggestions:
1. Start the timeouts on the step. Don't do her room, she'll think it's playtime.
2. After the timeout, make her apologize to you, tell you what she did wrong (she may need some help here) and then let her clean up her own mess (again, it may not be "clean" but have reasonable expectations for a 4 yr old)
3. Does she have a favorite show/movie? Maybe start a chore chart for her. Let her "earn" time for her favorite show or activity. Teaching the "helping" concept now will not only keep her busy and out of trouble, but it will start instilling some responsibility.
Some sample chores for a 4 yr old...pick up your own room (you make the mess, you clean it up + dirty clothes go in the hamper, not on your floor), brush your hair and teeth, pick up your toys/play area, take your dirty dishes to the sink/counter when you are done.
THEN, and this is key, have your HUSBAND ask her how her day went when he gets home. Have HIM check the chore chart and deliver the praise or questions, "Why didn't this get done today? Aren't you helping Mommy while I'm gone?"
Finally, if/when she gets her chore chart complete for the day, give her a small treat or her t.v. show. If she gets the chore chart done for the week (all/almost all boxes filled in) maybe she gets ice cream out, some special Daddy-time (like a trip to HomeDepot or the movie store).
You won't believe the changes in your daughter's behavior when she's go some motivation. Keep her busy with some simple chores and house rules and she'll be a new kid in no time!
Believe me, start with some timeouts - and be consistent - and make HER clean up her messes. She's not going to like how much work THAT is. Then introduce "earning" some rewards, and she will be happy to help you. Everyday won't be perfect, but I think you'll see some big improvements overall.
Plus, you get to relax a bit too!
best of luck