I Don't Feel "Sexy"

My advice would be to just talk to him about it. Try not to over-analyze... maybe he just wasn't in the mood, ya know?

With our first pregnancy, my husband was a bit hesitant about being intimate. He was a little weirded out with sex because of the baby. I've heard it's pretty common. Maybe that was the case?

Try not to take it personally. I can guarantee you that you're probably the only person that has noticed any bloating. Pregnancy hormones do crazy things, including make us super-super sensitive and moody... try to keep that in mind.

I do know how you feel though. Tonight I tried to be all sexy because it's our 5 year wedding anniversary... not easy to do when you're 9 months pregnant!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and engagement!

i would talk with him about it at a time when you are not trying to "get in the mood" Who knows what his thought process is about having sex while you are pregnant. I have had many friends whose husbands were really scared that they could harm the baby in some way. When you guys go to your next doctors appt you should ask the doctor about having sex and if their are risks. That way both of you can hear a sound medical explaination and it might put both of your minds at ease a little bit. Another thought is at only 6 weeks he may still be trying to process all the responsibility that comes with taking care of you and the baby, that can be overwhelming even if you have been planning for this baby! Good luck and try not to be defensive when you do talk to him!!

Hi B.,
I think it is normal to feel that way since you are just a few weeks pregnant. You will also be more sensitive so be aware of that. I would pamper myself maybe with a pedicure and manicure and also bathe using some shower gels. You should also put on some sexy pjs. Don't feel discouraged because this is normal for a man to reject you in a new pregnancy for fear or harming the baby. Maybe he will have to go to the doctor with you so that he can tell him it is ok. He also may have the pre-wedding jitters. He will get over it and things will be fine.

I feel for you hon...hang in there...it will get better.
I agree...take the time to talk about it when neither of you is particularly "in the mood" so there are no rejection issues...maybe over dinner or something (if you're feeling ok enough to eat!) When I finally had "the talk" with my hubby during our first pregnancy...I was shocked to hear his side. I, truthfully, wasn't much in the mood to be "romantic" for the whole 9 months...but I missed the intimacy.
He, on the other hand, did admit, that getting intimate with a pregnant lady just kinda freaked him out and he just wasn't attracted to me in the same way...especially when when I finally was over being sick, and starting to look pregnant (and I never felt better!) To him, I was still beautiful, but in a different way. He was honest, kind about it, and open, and so we figured out other fun things to keep the spark alive! (and it must have worked because we're expecting #2! but back to the same boat now! LOL)

Now...my friend has a crazy high libido and her hubby wanted NOTHING to do with her from the moment she got pregnant to the day she delivered...same issues...so she found some nice lingere that accentuated her awesome preggo bustline and was sort of A-line so that it somewhat hid her belly...that worked out great. But they did have to have a chat and she read him info from the doc about how it wasn't going to hurt the baby.
You'll both find your way thru this new phase of life and wonderful rollercoaster adventure...just like anything else that's new...you'll both trip and fall a few times on your way to figuring it out (just in time for everything to change again! Have fun with it!)
Good luck!

Welcome to being pregnant. SOme men have a strange idea that they're going to hurt the baby. Others lose their libido because they're freaked out by the idea of having a child. It's normal, but definitely talk openly about it with him.

My husband worried he would hurt the baby. When you are not feeling emotional about the situation you might ask him how he is feeling about you and the baby. My husband was very protective and concerned and I think it bothered him that he had no control over the health of his baby while it was in the womb so he certainly didn't want to hurt it.

Girl, your hormones are whacked out right now. Don't take ANYTHING TOO PERSONAL. You are about to be married, he loves you. I sometimes think guys just "don't get it" most of the time, be patient and enjoy every contortion your body makes from this point forward, trust me, you start showing more and he won't be able to keep his hands off you! Hang tough sister!

He just might be a little 'freaked out' about the pregnancy & baby. This is not to say he isn't happy but that there are a lot of worries men have too. He may be afraid to admit this because you are going through so much yourself. I'd just try to talk to him when you have calmed down & are not mad at him because we all know what happens when you try to talk to someone when you are mad.... ;-) Maybe just ask him how he is handling the pregnancy in general, what worries are going through his head etc. first before bringing up the bedroom incident.

....just a thought..

Good luck!
J.

i think after the foreplay, an explanation is NOT too much to ask - anyone would be hurt. you need to ask him why he did it, we can't answer that, sorry! :) it could be a million things on his end that had nothing to do with you, but the bottom line is it's not nice to tease! he could have said from the beginning, "i'm not really in the mood." that's just common courtesy. not trying to go all dr. phil on you, but communication is SO important. just calmly ask him, "hey, what was up the other night? we had all those conversations and it kinda got my hopes up. did i do something wrong?" at least that's what i'd say. give him a chance to explain. or it's possible he was just being a butt :P good luck! hang in there...we love 'em for some reason, after all!

Men no matter what age will always be "little boys". First enjoy your night off and get the rest you need. He is right to care about you and the baby but he should not forget himself too. Yes you are all young and hope you have many years together with lots of many romantic nights. Tell him you love him and let him know that you do not always have to or should need to yell to be understood-talk-talk-talk! That is the key to all good marriages and let him know this is ok and shall soon pass and then something else will be there to challange both of you so get ready and have a good night sleep now.

B.,
First off, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It is possible that your soon to be hubby may have some issues himself. My husband was scared quite often that he would hurt the baby during sex. There were many times that I was "in the mood" and was turned down as well. Also, maybe he is scared of hurting you. You should deffinetely talk to him. Good luck and never hesitate to ask ANY question on here. I have asked a million and always get great advie.

You didn't say how old you are or him for that matter. If he is under 25 this is called immaturity. They do grow out of it, sort of. You spoke of the supportive family, his and yours, think maybe he is seeing the world revolve around you and feels a bit left out? Then you are like, I am in the mood. Maybe he wasn't or maybe he is trying to find some control in his life.

Everything you said was I I I and you didn't speak of anything he feels. Have you stopped for a moment and said to him this is so overwhelming, our lives are changing so much, how do you feel? Anything I can do for you? You may be the one pregnant but it is effecting his life as well.