I Have a SCREAMER!!!!

I am going to suggest something that sounds like "how in the world can I do this to my child". I would use a spray bottle of water, this works!! You just want to break the cycle. They definately understand more than we give them credit for, and she knows exactly what she is doing. All you need to do is when she screams, you tell her "no screaming, what can I help you with, or mommie and daddy are talking just one minute", if she does not quit, you tell her I am going to get the water bottle. They HATE IT. But it works. The screams will diminish, and you need to be consistent. That is my suggestion, it may not be what you are looking for but it does work.
L. T

Hi Lindee,
I agree 110% with the sign language...I taught both of mine and it has saved lots of melt downs. Also, I would suggest the resources below:
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Toddler-Block-DVD/dp/B0001...

This is wonderful and seriously has worked with both of my kids.

Also, look at:
http://www.loveandlogic.com/

My husband and I just took a mini course and loved it. We ordered the big kit for ages birth to five (or six???)

Hang in there. My first started throwing fits...stomping her foot and screaming at 12 months, but it did not last long; especially after we stared with The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

Good luck,
K.

Totally normal! Definitely look into happiest toddler on the block for now, then parenting with love and logic for later.

In the meantime, start sounding like a broken record and say "screaming is not allowed" and "hitting is not allowed" and change her location (In love and logic they say "If you can't change the behavior, change the location"). At home, she goes into a playpen or crib or into her room. Give her time to get quiet, or 5 minutes, whichever comes first (this is my own personal rule, you can figure out what works for your child, but at this age 5 minutes is enough)

And be ready to do a lot of baby hauling. If you're at home and this happens, say your line "___ is not allowed" and haul her into the room/crib/playpen. If you're in a restaurant/mall whatever, fine a place. In a restaurant you can go to your car. In the mall or grocery store you can find a corner or the restroom (yes, we've stood in corners at Kroger before -- pushed the shopping cart over there and stood with my back turned!).
You just need to be prepared to be inconvenienced a few times. This is the main reason we don't follow through with punishment/threats, is because it's inconvenient to enforce it and kids figure that out quickly. They know you won't actually DO what you say, so they don't bother minding.
As far as screaming in the car, I've started bringing a book or magazine in the car on outings. If there are fits and screaming in the car, I pull off the road, turn the engine off (except on hot days) and just read my book. The iPod works great too because you can put your earplugs in as a visible cue that you're not listening. If it's really bad, I get out of the car and stand next to it (only had to do that once).
Now, I just have to start looking for a place to pull over and they straighten up. I still have to pull over (have to follow through, even though it's inconvenient!) but we only sit there a minute.

I totally agree with the advice you've been given so far but wanted to throw this out there too...How well do you trust your babysitter and do you know what kind of disapline she uses? When you said your child hits her bear that just set off an alarm in my head. She had to learn that some where and you mentioned the 4 yr old but is this something she see's from the baby sitter as well? I'd be making a surprise visit just to make sure things seem to be going smoothly. I had this issue with my daughter, it kind of came on suddenly. She was always loud but the down right screaming and hitting wasn't her. I didn't feel right about the child care situation she was in and pulled her. She immediately went back to the sweet angel she was. Screaming is just the only way she can communicate that something is wrong. I don't mean to scare you, I just want to make sure all sides of the issue are covered. Good luck! This too shall pass...

I used to use a nanny. My little girl and the nanny's girl always got along great. But this other little girl had some behavior issues like the screaming and I noticed that her mother didn't seem to pay attention to it. So since this other girl was behaving like this and it was "ok" with her mother my little girl picked it up. Needless to say it is not tolerated in my house and I stopped using that nanny b/c my daughter was picking up other behaviors from the other girl that I didn't like. That might be extreme for your situation. You should definitely talk to your nanny about it though. Just let her know you're concerned about it and are trying to curb it. You and your childcare provider have to be on the same page as far as what types of behavior are acceptable and what sort of discipline will result for unacceptable behaviors. Good luck. If you ignore it will only get worse.

A GREAT play therapy technique that works wonders is to tell her, "we don't scream" (and don't scream at her while you do it, say it in a nice calm voice) and place her in time out. She is only 1 year so she needs to only be in time out for 1 minute (it is 1 minute for the age of the child- so a 5 year old would get 5 minutes, etc...). You can use a timer or alarm to signal when she will be aloud up. I agree with the other mom, take her to the bathroom, a time out stool/chair- somewhere where she won't get attention and won't be "fun" for her (some place boring!!). When you allow her up, don't expect her to tell you she is sorry- she won't understand what she is saying sorry for, then tell her- you went in time out for screaming, we don't scream. This is a difficult age because they don't understand the same way an older toddler or child would. If she won't stay in time out with out screaming, tell her she will stay in time out until she stops (no more than 3 minutes). If it continues there are other techniques to use. There are great parenting books out there for just these kinds of issues. I am a child/adolescent/family counselor, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me and I can look up some resources for you.

I don't know how aware of other people your one year old is, so this may or may not work, but when my kids were little and they started a crying or screaming fit, I would just look at them real serious and tell them, "Everyone's watching you" and they would look around and stop. I don't believe in belittling a child, but most little kids think that the world revolves around them, which it should most of the time. But they do need to know that their actions affect others and they are expected to act a certain way in public. I know they don't understand what it is at that age, but it acctually is called accountability. My children are now 19, 15, and 12 and they all remember me doing it. They now say it made them aware they weren't the only ones in their little world. I wish you luck.

Hi Lindee,
I also had a little screamer (he turned 1 on May 5th) and we have almost completely solved the outrageous noise issue. Turns out that they are just doing this because they have no other way of communicating and get extremely frustrated (didn’t have this issue with my older son).

We taught him sign language! He can sign "More", "Eat", "Milk" and "Done" and was able to learn these and use them within a few weeks. When he would scream we would actually turn away… this is very difficult but worked for us. The only trick with the sign language is that you really need to watch for them to use it and react accordingly or they will give up and just scream.

Good Luck!
E.

My son went through the same time at the age of 1-1.5 years and he just out grew it . My daughter who is coming up on 1.5 years just entered that phase so I feel your pain. I take it as a "discovery their voice" stage. I will keep an eye on the responses to see if someone has some additional thoughts.

Good luck,
S.

It must be the age, my son will turn 1 next Wed. and he screams about most anything!! And, he has been signing for 2 months, so although it helps, and I use it to help with feeding times etc, I cant teach him to sing "mom I dont want you to leave me in here..." He gets mad about a lot of things, and although I wish I could say he learned it from somewhere, he screams because he is one. I will sometimes put my hand over his mouth and say very firmly "No, we do not scream" I remember popping/flicking my older daughters mouth when they screamed, but it seems to me that he has started a little younger than they did, and I cant bring myself to do it. I do know for sure, that they will outgrown it, and that with a firm resolve that even though you know they will do it, they need to know it is not how to get what we want, it will change. When she becomes as capable as she is independant, and she will find ways to better deal with it. Best of luck to you, and all of us, enjoying the change that comes with turning 1. Happy 1st Birthday!!! ~A.~

You are right to not just ignore it anymore, that's won't fix the problem. She needs to be removed from the situation immediately when she screams. If that's the bathroom in a restraunt or store, or a time-out step or chair at home. But, she needs to NOT get attention for it. Take her to her stool or chair where she will do time-out and have her sit for mabey 3 min. Just till she gets the point. Before the time-out, and after, tell her, "no screaming". In public, you may have to take her to the restroom. Stand her in a stall, stay in there with her to make sure she doesn't touch anything yucky, but turn your back so she's not getting your attention for her behavior. If she sees that she gets a time-out and NO attention for a period of time when she screams, it should subside. You have to be VERY consistent with it, though, you can't let it slide once. Good Luck!