H.M.
Great question! And as you find answers, your family will greatly benefit!
We went to www.crown.org as a starting point in figuring out how to do a budget. Specifically, check out the "Crown Tools" tab - this will lead you to some great online tools and calculators to help you determine what your budget should look like, what categories to include, what percentage of your paycheck should go to each category, etc. Use this as a starting point, then use either one of their spreadsheet tools or an excel file to keep track of things. Honestly, this website is a wealth of useful information if you take some time to check it out!
After establishing our budget, my husband and I determined we really needed to use a cash system. Sure, Debit/Credit card statements were great at tracking exactly where we were spending our money, but after-the-fact. We often and easily came to the end of a month and realized "too late" that we had over spent in a certain category. We then had to juggle categories - "borrowing" from one to pay another to make things balance!
Then we discovered an envelope cash system (we didn't get our details from Crown.org, but I think they do have some tools and discuss it there). Basically, since we have a budget, we know how much money is available in each category every paycheck. Each pay period, we make a cash withdrawl for the total amount available to spend, then I literally divide the cash up into separate envelopes (you can use a coupon divider type wallet, etc - buy at office supply store). When going to the store, you can spend what is in the envelope! At first we kept receipts in the envelopes to track what we spent, but we no longer do. Once a category is empty, it's gone until the next paycheck! On the other side, other categories (house repairs, haircuts, clothing funds) may accumulate for a while for one bigger purchase.
I've given you a lot of info here, but perhaps not enough detail. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can help you navigate www.crown.org!
Good Luck!