I Totally Blew It. - Uniontown,PA

I didn't read any of the other posts so I don't know if anyone has the same sentiment as me, but I honestly believe you answered the way you really felt! Maybe you really need to consider if this gentleman is the right man for you, not whether or not you'll have a magical memory of the proposal.

I was proposed to at one point and had a similar reaction. Deep down I knew that I should have said NO. Long story short, one week later I had to tell him how I really felt and that I didn't think we should move forward. It was the hardest conversation I've ever had!! But I knew breaking it off was the right thing to do. Could the relationship have worked? Yes, for awhile but it would probably have ended in divorce. No thanks! Did I love him? Yes, absolutely!

The old adage goes, "When you know, you know!" It's true! When my (now) husband proposed to me almost eight years ago I was giddy with excitement and couldn't wait to tell the world!! There was not a single speck of doubt in my mind. I want that for you too!! Please don't move forward if you know deep down HE is not the one for you.

I have been married for 11 1/2 years, I can't remember what I said when my husband proposed. It's not a big deal you are freaking out over nothing.

First of all: Congratulations!
Just tell him what you told us! Real life isn't a movie, you're right! You were surprised and that was his goal, yes? LOL
When my husband got to his knee I said "Come on, what's the matter with you? Get up!" before I realized he was singing out a proposal! We laugh about it all of the time.

First, you need to question yourself really hard and make sure you REALLY want this. If the answer is yes, then there is absolutely NO reason why you can't redo this moment. It's your life. If it is bothering both of you, then redo it. Or you can propose to him. Plan a romantic date, get a babysitter for your son & prepare a great speech about how much you love him.
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. I got engaged 6 years ago (married 5) and all I remember about the proposal is the location. What truly matters is the marriage you build, you will be creating a lot of memories in the years to come. Hollywood has built up this idea of a perfect proposal/wedding way too much. They are each just one day in our life.
Good luck.

Just tell him what you told us.
Getting married is a BIG decision even if you have talked about it.

No you dont get a second chance and yes one day you will laugh about it but right now how do you make it better?

He loves you otherwise he wouldnt have asked you.
You obviously love him.

You said yes and Thats important:) schedule an engagement party to show him that you really mean it. make him a dinner or do something special for him to show him that you really care. tell him you are sorry but you were caught off guard and didnt know what to say. Whatever you ultimately decide to do make sure its true and make sure its Sincere and that you really really mean it.

It's amazing what people will do or say in the heat of the moment. When put on the spot we dont know what to say so we say whatever comes first and then we get flustered and try to recover but its too late.
Keep talking to him about it. Keep making plans. Make sure he knows you want to spend the rest of your life him and you want him to be a father to your child.
Everything will work out. You will feel like a heel for awhile. I dont know how to stop that - we all do and say things we regret all we can do is move on and try and make it better.
J.

Why not propose to him? Tell him how important he is to you, how you feel about spending the rest of your life with him! Make it romantic & unforgetable (not to over the top so he feels bad about the original proposal though! haha) It's sort of like a "do over" but more for you, so you can have those butterflies & of course the memory of how you'd like it to be!
And honestly I don't think anything is ruined. It's not how the proposal goes, who said what, how big the ring is....it's about the love & happiness you have for one another and wanting to share your life as one.
Wishing you the best! :)

Are you sure you really want to marry him? Sometimes we have a gut reaction like that because of uncertainty.
If you're sure, honestly I would print this out and give it to him! And I would ask him if HE will marry you in another special moment somewhere.
You haven't ruined anything...after 10 years this will just be funny and you guys can tell stories about it

Hi, L., congratulations!
OK, even though we all know for every fairy tale proposal there are 1000 botched ones (everyone I know had proposals that were either half-botched or skipped altogether), and that most of the fairy tail ones are in movies, I know the gnawing pang of regret ALL too well whatever the reason may be. You probably will dwell on this a very long time, since it sounds like you had a perfect picture in mind for the moment. And so much at stake for a moment, it's bound to get botched by nerves!

You feel this is moment was a super important "beginning" to your whole relationship-and since you think so, you're right! Use this opportunity to prove to him that his future wife is NOT the type of woman to make a big terrible long lasting negative reality over a nervous mistake. Do not give the idea that heavy mental trips are the new status quo for his new marriage (don't worry, he's not thinking that, but you know what I'm saying-don't accidentally punish him for proposing)! Snap yourself out of it mentally, or Take action!!!

I would ask him do it again, not take away his big brave accomplishment by proposing yourself and making THAT the last word. Give him a card, telling him he did things perfectly the first time, and you only wish you could have your side of the moment over again, so can you please have a "do over". Ask him to do exactly what he did because you loved it so much.

You can laugh later about how you had to return twice to the rock for the double proposal, but you may feel better right away by taking action. Give him a big joyous hug when he proposes or whatever you want, dont' make it a huge deal, just wipe away the sadness you're creating and show him you're a sport. Maybe his saying you CAN do that will make it unnecessary. But do it if you want! Get the sadness out of your mind, and get on with your fun life!
I'm happy for you!

I know you don't want to hear that you'll laugh about it someday...but...
My husband pronounced my name wrong when he proposed to me, because he was so nervous and focused on what came next. I didn't realize the proposal was coming so I quickly corrected him and then started teasing him about not really knowing me. Not the best way to start a proposal, but 10 years down the road it really is a funny story we like to remember.

I love all the ideas people have shared so far, either proposing to him or asking him for a do-over so you can show him how you really feel! Plus I bet if you think about it you can think of a few romantic comedies where just such a situation occurred. :) And congratulations to both of you, look forward to all the great moments that are coming and don't get bogged down in one that went a little awry.

Dont get so down on yourself. It is a very crazy moment...especially when you have no idea that its coming! I think that the excitement, fear, joy, panic and just plan rush of every emotion thast blows through you can be enough to make anyone stick there foot in their mouth and say things that they TOTALLY dont mean. I know that your fiance may not undestand that because he was the actual one proposing and had some time to go over his wording to get everything on his end "right". I dont think that you are the first, and def wont be the last one to think they completely ruined this moment....I think it prob happens more than you think.
I think the best thing to do would be to try and keep talking about it to clear up the air and make him understand how crazy a moment it was and that you really, truly didnt mean the way it came out. Then I think you should plan a really romantic night, or day with him and repropose to him! I think that would be sweet and I think that he would see that you do really want to marry him and the words that came out that day were thrown in their by some alien being that took over your body for a few minutes or so!
Dont sweat it! Egos get hurt....but over time they heal and if you have a strong relationship (which u must if you are getting married), then time will pass and this will be a memory that you will look back and laugh about!

By thrusting your ring in the face of every person you see when you are with your fiance and screaming "We're getting married!!!!!!" while jumping up and down, doing the Snoopy happy dance. You can't change the past, but you can let him know how excited you are about your future. And best wishes to you both!

Tell him you'll make it up to him on the honeymoon. Congratulations!

First, send him this post. By that, I mean your post, not mine. :)

Second, can you set up a "date" with him and have a big response ready for him....kind of the opposite of planning the question, plan the answer? Those are just of the top of my head.

I am one that always says the wrong thing too, so I know how you feel. Just show him how excited you are, and after your answer, start planning and SHOW him how excited you are to become Mrs......

Tell him you want an "I Do Over." Ask him to propose to you again so that you can show him how you meant to react. And then look him in the eyes and tell him how much you've been wanting this and how much you love him. OR get down on one knee and propose to him. Get him a rose and be real romantic and mushy to help ease his hurt feelings. Get some champagne. Tell him all the things you love about him and that you feel like such a jerk for letting your nerves get to you so much that you said the wrong thing. :) And I'll be you'll be laughing about this one for sure someday.

Why don't you make a big show of your feelings for him, write him a poem or whatever, but at the end, why don't you propose to him? Yes, you've already said yes and you're already engaged, but maybe this way he'll know for sure that yes was your answer and you can both have that special moment that you were hoping for.

AWWW! Congrats!! Hopefully this is one of those things that eventually, you'll be able to laugh off. Tell him EXACTLY what you just told us- that you're disappointed in your own reaction and that you are just as surprised and disappointed in yourself as he is. Ask him to ask you again :) Best wishes!

I can see why you would be upset but you can make this right. Turn the tables on him plan a romantic picnic lunch. Get him a plain ring just a band. Take him by surprise and at this picnic hand him his favorite dessert or a glass of wine with the ring in it and ask him to marry you. Though his propsal was somewhat of a blunder trust me years from now you will look back on it with laugher at how funny it seems years later. Its things like reacting irrational or saying the wrong things that give you something to tell your children about. Good luck and best wishes to you..

Show him this posting of your question.
That is proof enough.
you were nervous... that's all. It had nothing to do with your feelings for him or what you feel in your heart. You were just nervous... an innocent "mistake."

You both best get over this "sting" over the marriage proposal... or it will always be a "resentment." Not good. You and he, should just laugh about it...

all the best,
Susan