When my husband and I met, I had two cats. They were sweet and slept with me every night. They were my girls. He and I have been together for some time now and they still are not warmed up to him. He hates them and they hate him. Not only that, I don't have time for them since my baby arrived.
So my husband says, "You don't spend time with them, I don't like them and they don't even serve a purpose.. Why don't you just get rid of them" He doesn't understand that he is the only reason they don't serve a purpose. What am I supposed to do?
Alright, I did it. My husband and I were sitting on our back deck when one of my kitties came bopping along. As soon as she looked up and saw him, she started walking backwards! So he says, "see? they're pointless in having, they're scared of everything." So I told him, "Before you came along, they used to sleep with me, cuddle with me, and even hug & give kisses like a dog would do, and now they don't. So if you really want to call them pointless, you can thank yourself, because it's your fault. Would you have wanted your mother to get rid of you when you were being a brat?" He said no and walked inside and my cat came running up the stairs and just rubbed and rubbed my legs meowing the whole time. So that's that! I was crazy to think about getting rid of them...thanks all!!
OK as a cat lover and owner of 3 myself. I personally say screw your husband. They were there before him. If you had another child and the two of them didn't get along would he expect you to get rid of the child? I think not. So tell your husband to shut up and keep the cats. Like the old saying goes "Love me, Love my cats".
I have 2 cats who I adore and who are very much a part of the family. They are my babies. Since my baby girl arrived, I have not had much time to spend with them but each night when she goes down for the night, I will spend 30 mintues of quality time with the cats before I go to bed. Your husband is not sensitive to your feelings or he would never suggest getting rid of something that brings you happiness. Let your husband know that this makes you feel badly when he says that and remind him how attached you are to the kitty's. The cats were there before him.
keep your cats!!!! would you want to be given away because, your mom (owner) had someone new in her life? I dont think soooo!! As far as your husband goes remind him he is still new enough to get ride of...... Cats dont take alot of time you feed them water them change the litter box and pet them when they need it or u need it.... I tell my boyfriend and the father of my child that if he cant get along with my baby (9 year old cat) she was here first and she will be here until she decides she wants to leave as well as him....
P.,
I know what you're going through.. I adore my cat.. He is the best,sweet cat I've ever had.. he knows his boundries and where and when he can be the center of my attention. When my son was born almost 2 years ago.. he got put on the back burner a lot, but he was okay. He slept with me at night, got up with during the feedings, even if it was just to sit next to me. he was my company when I was home all day with no one else.. I love him so much.. My husband knows what the cat means to me.. and woulndn't dare suggest gettin rid of him. If you're cats bring you happiness, don't part with them.. if they tear stuff up, pee on things, then I might consider it.. but cats are cats.. its not like they take up a lot of time..
Hi Cat Lover,
When my husband and I met, I had 2 cats as well. He claimed to be a "cat-hater" but had never really been around them at all. One of the cats hated him and the other was in love with him! Anyway, I told my then boyfriend that I would NOT under any circumstances get rid of my then 12 year-old cat! He would just have to deal. The other cat leaving was up for discussion.
My boyfriend reluctantly agreed (What was he to do? If he wanted me, he would have to take the cats!) Over then next year or so, all of them became friends, or at least cordial.
The we married, all lived together. The cat that loved my husband became ill and went to Cat Heaven :). To make me feel better, my husband suggested we get a kitten AND HOW OUR WORLD DID CHANGE! Not long after my husband met this kitten, he went after another one! He became a fan. It was different for him because he now had been around a kitten! We now have three cats.
Then came the baby... and I am now in the same boat as you: I don't have as much time for the cats as I do my child and my husband. Here's the catch: God made cats so they can be independent and less needy-they can be perfectly happy with an occasional scratch under the chin-they don't really have to be catered to ALL THE TIME. They really can be quite happy just knowing they are loved, secure, safe from danger, and fed good meals. SO KEEP YOUR CATS!!! And after your baby goes to sleep, then take the time to love on your girls.
They DO serve a purpose! They are good for you, they could be good for your husband if he would really try (they are so theraputic at times!), and they can be a great learning experience for your child!! Children need animals and nature in their lives-any kind! And cats almost always end up loving the babies and children as much as we do! (Whether they want to damit it or not!)
Good luck to you and hang in there. You all can be a loving family if everyone (including hubby) tries just a bit.
K. A
Mom of son Garrett, cat Satchmo, cat Broker, and cat Gable
P. you keep your cats...I bet you take care of them(even though your may not have as much time as before) You'll find that you will have time for them agian once things get ajusted. :)
follow your heart on this. ask your husband would he be willing to give up something as equally important to him just because you don't like it? your cats know you still love them and will spend more time w/them as you adjust to being a new parent. the SPCA would be full of a lot more animals if everyone did what your husband suggested. how old the cats are will make them either easier or harder to find homes for. how much effort has he made to befriend the cats? cats know when someone does not like them. maybe he's not a cat person and prefers a different pet or doesn't like animals period. he knew going into the relationship w/u the cats were part of the package. well, nuff said. i'm a pet lover! my two kids lives were enriched w/pets (cats & dogs). they love animals. one is 17 and my other one is 24 w/babies of her own. you still have the final say w/joint input from your husband. maybe there is some sort of compromise? just don't let this cause a dark cloud over your family! take care and best wishes!
P., I have personally never liked cats all that much. I'm a dog person. But when I moved to be with my current b/f he has 3 cats and recently got a 4th. They leave me alone, and I leave them alone and that's just the way it is.
Now after saying that, even though I don't care much for cats. Your husband was totally in the wrong asking you to get rid of them. I always threaten to throw them cats out of the house, but for my love of him, I put up with them.
My thoughts on the matter. They were there before him, they'll be there after him.
HI P.,
Okay, you need to keep your kitties. It's not fair to them to kick them out just because you had a baby. They may not get as much attention now, but they will again. Besides, cats are easy. They can jump up on the couch or bed with you when you are nursing or cuddling baby. They will come to you when they want attention, and you need to find a little time to give it to them. You had them before your hubby. He knew what he was getting into!! :) I understand it's tough. I have a nine month old with 2 cats, 3 dogs, and 3 goats. Luckily I have a husband that shares the responsibility of taking care of them and loving them.
Good luck and stand your ground sister!!
D.
My husband hates cats. He knows that I wanted one so bad so we got one. He loves me so he accepts her and isn't mean to her. I'm glad to see you stuck to your guns and it's time for him to accept them and see that they bring you joy. It's not like he didn't know that you had them when you two got together.
I have a house full of cats (7 adults/older kittens & 4 newborn kittens), so I know how easy it is to love them. You should try sitting down with your husband & calmly explaining to him how emotionally attached you are to the cats, how it would affect you if the cats were no longer living with you, how hard it would be to place your cats into new, loving, & safe homes (most shelters euthanize & will definately do so if they cannot place the cats within a certain time frame) & how that would affect you. Let him know that you understand where he's coming from, but make sure he knows how important they are to you.
I bet the cats will grow on him. When my husband and I started living together, I brought home a cat. I have had cats all my life and adore them. He thought she was a no good animal - a waste - cats cant do things dogs can do, serve no purpose etc etc. After about a year, they warmed up to one another so much that when I was not around, he was bribing Mamasan with treats and what not so she would lay with him. She turned traitor on me and started SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY !! hahahaha. After that, it was like she was HIS cat. So much so that I had to after 2 yrs go get ANOTHER cat because I was missing the cuddling and affection from Mamasan because she only wanted my husband. She unfortunately was killed by some neighbors dogs when she got in their yard. My husband was DEVASTATED and to this day sets off in a fit of rage at the discussion of Mamasan and her untimely death. Now we have 2 cats and he laughs at them with me and lets me talk my baby talk to them- and now he just laughs with it. He is not as crazy about them as I am, but I know that he secretly loves it when one comes up to lay with him !!! He will even brag if in the night one sleeps with him and not me. So give it time - they may just all warm up to one another !!!
When you brought the cats home you maid a commitment to them. tell you husband that you want to keep them and that under no circumstances are you going to abandon them. If he keeps up the acusations and demand that you get rid of them, then he will be creating a rift in your marraige. Tell him he doesn't have to like the cats, but they are important to you and that should account for something.
you tell him that these are your other babies and he needs to treat them like they are a part of the family because they were there first. And make a point to have a kitty play time so that they are getting attention
Stand your ground! They are your kitties and you can't just give them away. When you get an animal, you are in it for the duration.
The same thing happened when I got married - I came with 2 cats! The male cat is fine with my husband, but the female is really skiddish and doesn't like anyone but me. She stays in the closet until night time and then she comes out so that I can pet and brush her.
My husband finally stopped telling me to get rid of the cats when we got a dog. The dog is his "baby" and now he understands how I feel about the cats. Yes, we have a zoo at our house now: a toddler, 2 cats, 1 dog, a snake, and some fish - but he finally understands and that's all that matters.
I think your husband will eventually stop pestering you. Yes it's a lot of work taking care of a baby and 2 cats, but you can do it. Hang in there!!!
