Is My 20 Year Old Causing to Much Stress

Yup. Too much drama. Let her go. She is 20 years old with a husband and a baby? She should not have much time for a video game anyway. She'll be back with baby before you know it!! Make her take some responsibility. You will be doing her a favor. If she wants to use the child as a pawn, let her know that you love him regardless of what she does, and you want to be in his life. However, you will be treated with respect or she will go--it isn't even up to her. She's an adult. Let her be one.

20 years old with a husband and baby living in YOUR house? Good Lord Mamma, time for them to grow up, you have bigger problems than who owns who for a video game....

people treat you how you allow them to treat you. have you and her father always allowed her to walk all over you like this? i would be very surprised if someone who was raised to treat others with respect and courtesy just magically started acting this way one day. this behavior must have been allowed. as the mother (and as a fellow human being) you deserve more respect than this - but it sounds like she is used to not having to give it. i'm sorry, in family as well as in life, i don't allow people to treat me that way. i would have nothing to do with someone who treated me and my family so rudely and selfishly. take a hike sister. come back when you know how to talk to your parents with courtesy and respect. (of course all this assuming that you and her father are treating her with respect to begin with - it is a two way street.) sorry if that sounds harsh. there is definitely something wrong with her treatment of you. she is an adult and responsible for her actions. but she learned it somewhere.

I agree with with adansmomma. We teach our kids early on the importance of respect and empathy. Ofcouse there are always exceptions but forthe most part, I believe that this behavior was observed and learned through you two/her parents. Now, you can't go back in time but you can do some things differently now. Do not respond in anger, use feeling words ("I feel sad that...", let her know that although her actions may be unpredictable yours will not be. For example, when she's upset and using the child as a pawn say, "I love you no matter what. There's nothingthat can be done or undone to change the way I feel. When you are ready, I'll be here with open arms." with his being said, your husband has to submit to this unconditional love/no figting or anger theory too. Be smart though. Don't put yourself in situations that will cause possible heartbreak. Money lending tends to be one of those triggers.

You MUST set some boundaries with your daughter. She is an adult now and you are allowing her to act like a spoiled child. Call her bluff - trust me and I speak as a mom of two kids in their 20's, she will try it on her own and realize how good she has/had it. it's time for some tough love. She was "adult" enough to get pregnant and have a child, it's time for her to start acting like an adult. You're allowing her to manipulate you. You're not helping her - you're enabling her. Stand behind your husband on a united front - HE is the one you chose to spend your life with and your kids will soon be out of the nest. You need to be a team on this and not let the kids run you.

Call her bluff. Where does she think she can go and be treated better? Let her try. She will figure it out.

Let her go and stand on their own feet. I'll just bet her tune changes! Good luck.

Ask them to move out.

I have lived with my mom on and off during my 20ies (before I was married) and it just isn't healthy for your relationship. It is convenient and sometimes economic necessity but IMO it should last as short as possible!

It's time for them to stand on their own - I bet once she has done it for a while, she will come to appreciate you much more. I certainly did.