I like a tidy house, as tidy as one can be with small children, and my husband also appreciates a clean house. I have learned to relax when things cannot be just so, but I want my children to pick up after themselves...i.e., put their shoes next to the door, hang coat up, etc... The problem is my husband leaves his shoes in the middle of the kitchen, with his coat on the floor, and his hat stays any where it lands. When he doesn't pick up after himself how can I expect my children to do so. I feel like we are constantly agruing over this. Yes, yes, he is a man, but I feel like I am the total disciplary in the house (aka ruiner of fun), he backs me up 100% from the couch, but never takes the intiative. I am frustrated and don't know how to whip my husband into shape. Complaining doesn't help...refusing to pick up after him only makes me more irritated, HELP!!!
Well I have come to the resolution that it is going to be a never ending battle...so does that mean I won? I may have but I am still frustrated. I am still leaving stuff lying about..he has yet to notice, but my fingers are crossed. Thanks for all the suggestions...on a positive note, the kids are cleaning up after themselves better. They don't like the idea of me throwing out the stuff they refuse to pick up.
I had the same problem with my husband not putting his Army uniform away when he came home. I bought a mirror with coat hooks on it, and had him hang it by the back door. Now he hangs up his stuff, and can see to put his beret on straight before he leaves again. As for getting off the couch to help out I'm still trying to figure that one out!
I would try a little psychology with him... You say he appreciates a tidy house? Perfect. Ask your two older boys if they would help Mommy perform an experiment (this way they do not make my suggestion a habit). Tell them that for a couple of days, both of them, as well as you, are going to leave your hats, shoes and jackets EVERYWHERE. Make sure they are in places your husband will definitly trip over. Hats should end up in the fridge, coats on doorknobs that he uses most, etc. This will show him what it would be like if everyone were as privileged as he as far as rules go. Why should everyone else follow them if he does not have to? He should lead by example and this should show him why. Good Luck!
This may sound a bit harsh but it worked wonders with my kids and their bedrooms. Let me tell you they ARE slobs. They now know that if their room is a mess and it's not cleaned within a certain amount of time I do in to thier rooms with big garbage bags and the stuff goes right in the garbage. You can try that with your hubby and see if that works. Good luck!
This took A LOT of deep breaths for me. My husband did the same thing when we moved in together. Finally I just left the laundry where it lay. It didn't get washed. I even vaccuumed around it! It eventually got better and every once in a while when he does it now, he jokes about how long it will sit there because I refuse to pick up after him. He got the message! Good luck, it wasn't easy.
I have been in the same situation for 3 years now with my husband. I have talked calmly to him about it and also freaked out on him.It's a never ending battle. He has this bag he takes to work and is constantly leaving his dish in it over night, finding it in the morning when he goes to put another dish in and leaivng it in the sink for me to wash when we have a dishwasher! Either way he'll do it for a few days to keep me happy and then boom back to his normal way. I found to keep my sanity I just follow him around non-chelantly when he first gets home so I can hang his coat up myself or remind him nicely where the closet is. Then remind him of his bowl as I see him putting his bag down. I also bought him a hat rack at a craft show and placed it conveninetly so he puts it there as soon as he arrives home. With his shoes my daughter is 9 so that is one of her chores after daddy's long day.T o put them on our shoe rack. This way she doesnt see it as he isnt picking up after himself why should I? This just works better for me because I hate the whole fighting thing and he seems to be upset with himself when he sees me upset but for some reason he cant remember without my presence.......
Maybe start throwing out his hats? ;)
I don't know if they will ever really learn. My husband leaves his steel toe boots in the middle of the floor that everyone is always tripping over until I pick them up. Is this a man thing...?
