F.B.
answers from
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on
transformation, metamorphasis come to mind.
Best,
F. B.
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So I was reading a blog about a mom's journey from an autism diagnosis through to advocacy and acceptance. It's been an amazing thing to read. One of the commenters said (specific to autism:
"many people…after receiving an autsim diagnosis in their life…go through these big, epic cycles…it’s too long term to be the stages of grief, and it often ends in a place too positve to be that…but there is something happening, and it’s very structured, many seem to work into the same cycles, wind up in similar places…i can’t get a handle on it yet, but your writing has been a terrific example, just the different places your sweet little one has taken your world view over the years…and now you’ve ended up in this awesome, amazing place…" (The comment was specific to autism, but I'm sure this has happened with other situations)
I've seen this journey, and experienced it (sort of) myself. It's like the Cycle of Grief, but it takes another step beyond that into action - if that makes any sense.
Have you heard of something that describes it? Or is it perhaps an augmented Cycle of Grief?
Thanks for you input!
transformation, metamorphasis come to mind.
Best,
F. B.
It's still the stages of grief. There's no timeframe for grieving. The stages of grief don't just apply in situations of death or dying. They also happen for people who are going through other types of loss.
A significant diagnosis of a life-long condition can be considered a loss. A loss of the hope for recovery and normalcy. A loss of certain aspects of typical childhood and adulthood experiences. And a loss of many other things and ideals that the parent had hoped for in the child's life. Loss causes grief, pure and simple.
Of course the stages of grief don't necessarily occur in a specific order for anyone who is grieving. Some folks might skip Anger and go straight to Depression. Many were already in stages of Denial or Guilt prior to the diagnosis. The stages are individualized and it's important to remember that we cannot predict grief with complete accuracy.
Advocacy?
Not just acceptance but becoming a person that advances knowledge & promotes information to others?
This reminds me of something I read about raising a special needs child- the "going to Holland" analogy. It's another way to describe what you are talking about.
Here is where to find the short write-up (or google "Going to Holland")
Ditto Christy's response.
I don't know a name for it. I've seen it in a friend with a child with CP.
It did start with grief. And sometimes the separate parents were in different stages of it at the same time. They experienced it in a personal way.
Then, of course, they didn't have time to dwell on grief, till they had to fight insurance companies and plan for schooling. It was overwhelming, but part of that transition was focusing less on what he couldn't do, to what he could do, to what he WANTED to do and their part in accomplishing that.
Then the time of trying to change an antiquated system and leaving a legacy. It's not grief that accomplishes the smiles on kids faces as they are able to experience life to the fullest because others changed their schools and their communities.
I don't know a word for it but we are all the better for it.
This is what your post reminded me of, I have heard of the cycle of grief b being described as Shock denial anger acceptance. However, to truly end up in the place I think you mean, is another stage beyond that, I don't know what to call it, but it's I think when you are somehow propelled into a new more positive way of being in the world because of the profound acceptance of the meaning of the cycle of life, and death. Hmmmm, how about, integration?
